No matter what I do, it just won't come

[DanishPie23]

I have been masturbating since I was 12 or 13years old and now I am 22 and still having problems. I just started recently having sex more frequently with my boyfriend and he has been begging me to orgasm for him. He keeps trying his best and doing everything and so have I. But when I start to get there and I got this odd feeling, my body freezes up and I can't finish it. I lied to him and told him I have, but I haven't. I try when I am alone with my sex toy, but i can't do it alone either. He keeps telling me to relax and let it go, but I have tried and that won't work either. I have no idea what I am doing wrong. =[ Can anyone give me some new things to try so I can try another way??? Or any advice at all would be great! Thanks!

[nuttychick]

Relax..breathe... and let it go.. It is really that simple...
If you look around the site there is alot of posts about this
look for them and read them..

Good luck..

[lnt1103]

Don't let the odd feeling stop you. Don't give in right away to the urge to pull away or tell him to stop. It truly is as simple as relaxing and letting it go.

I'll be the first to admit that, early on, some of the ways my body responds freaked me out a little--things like shaking knees, and the pelvis moving involuntarily. But all those things are just part of it. And if you're worried about his reaction to see it, don't. If anything it tells him he's doing well.

[dancingdoc2]

There are articles listed in the Index on female masturbation. It is important to know two things, initially; first, we do not give orgasms away, each of us is responsible for his or her own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them; second, that you must learn to masturbate (privately, on your own) and be able to do so regularly and consistently before you can help your partner learn to mimic your unique and specific technique.

> I just started recently having sex more frequently with my boyfriend and he has been begging me to orgasm for him. He keeps trying his best and doing everything and so have I.

Please read the how-to article on this. You have to guide him and give him verbal and/or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding and for what you need now/next. We all masturbate in essentially the same way for our gender, however, each of us over time comes up with a variation to the theme that is unique to us. If the other person does not quite match our method then either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than expected.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that address the most common concerns people have. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find additional information.

I hope all of our replies are helpful. Got questions?

[EvilEvilKitten]

In the absence of physical/medical issues - any problem with orgasms is in your head.

1. What is your attitude about sex? A poor attitude will kill orgasms.
2. Do you tense up, hold your breath, worry about having an orgasm? If so you are stopping yourself from having one even before it begins and there is nothing anyone can do to get you off.
3. Were you abused, sexually or otherwise? You will need professional help to fix this.
4. Do you want to retain power over yourself and/or over your bf? Based upon it felt odd so I pulled bacl" I'd say YES. To which Id' say: GROW UP & LET IT GO. Because you're ruinning your relationship with him and you're cheating/hurting yourself.
5. There is something wrong in your relationship that you are unwilling to acknowledge, discuss, and solve.

Do not blame him - it is not his job to give you anything beyond a helping hand/penis/mouth. YOU have to decide for yourself that sex is grand, sex is glorious, and my sexuality is my birthright!

Face Up, 'Fess Up, then Fix Up!