Why can't I let it go?

[pc4cb]

Hiya all

Firstly I want to thank Brandye for the advice on 'period' thread, I took the test and it revealed that I am not pregnant, I looked it up and it could be imbalance hormones.

Right, I lost my virginity when I was 18, I am now 21, soon to be 22, and before I met my partner, men never pleased me and never made an effort, now I've met my new partner and we have been together for nearly 4 months and we both enjoy sex with each other, we did not had sex straightaway after we first got together, we had sex about a month after, I enjoy having sex with him, it gets better each time and only last week for the first time in my life Ive felt this pressure on my clit when he was giving me a oral job and my legs were shaking and I have had this feeling of needing to urine, but I know it is not that, but the problem is, I just couldn't let it go! He did it again today and I could have come 3 times but all 3 times I didn't let it go, it was so intense and I want to cum for the first time in my life, he knows how much he please me and I would like to reward him, it would be his first time making a woman have an orgasm as well, we both would like to experience it. But I don't understand why I can't let it go? I would appreciate any thoughts and help.

Pamela

[Brandye]

Not unusual. You are making significant progress. We women need to teach ourselves (and our bodies) to reach orgasm. You are ninety percent of the way there and it will happen. The feelings are more important than the technique. Just remember you want the orgasm for you and not for him. The fact that he is involved is a bonus for both of you. Each time you get closer will "bring you back for more." He needs to relax. He is getting his jollies and pressure on you will not help.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why some women have trouble "letting go" is because:

1. they fear a. the unknown, b. being thought of as a slut by him because she enjoys sex, c. actually thinking of herself as a slut because she enjoys sex. This happens because she's been taught "good girls don't" and that sex is debasing.

or

2. she does not, deep down, want to give up the power and attention she gets when bemoaning the fact that she hasn't orgasmed.

Your comment "didn't put forth the effort" leads me to suspect the answer in your case is a combination of both. So to make the point very clear to you: IT IS NOT HIS JOB TO GET YOU OFF - WE ARE EACH RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN ORGASMS. If you don't want to cum, you won't no matter what he does.

So to answer why you can't - Look Inside Yourself and ask what you really think about sex. Masturbate alone to the point of orgasm. Reflect upon the facts that sex and female sexuality is your birthright and that others have, because of their own weak egos, been controlling female sexuality for centuries - mainly by teach ing wmen BS about themselves ala #1 above - the whole slut/whore/goddess thing.

Pawn or Queen? - your choice.

[lnt1103]

The first couple times I couldn't it was actually because I hadn't heard of female ejaculation and thought it really was urine. After some research it became about being able to relax and go with it. Now, I've gotten so good at it, I actually find myself either unable or unwilling to attempt to stop it.

EEK is right about her taboo thing. Women, myself included, need to get their brains around the fact that having, enjoying, even craving sex is natural instead of bad.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Thank you - women are sexual powerhouses and as soon as they realise that all they have to do is exercise choice - they become free. They can forget about not being Barbie, they can forget about being modest, they can forget about being 'good girls', they can forget about being weak, they can forget about being nice or timid, they can give all of that jealousy female competition stuff up and good riddance! Rejoice!!

They can also give up fear - fear of sex, fear of men, fear of being alone, fear of being thought a slut, skank, whatever.

You can just go "out and play"!!