Medication to increase libido... after vaginismus

[zayco]

Hi everyone

I just joined this board because I thought it would be a good place to ask this question, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now... and about a year or two ago I got vaginismus, I'm not sure what caused it - perhaps lots of urinary tract infections over and over, but this meant that sex hurt really bad. I tried to have sex over and over but every time it hurt, so it ended up slowing down from three - five times a week, down to once every three - six MONTHS.

anyway, my partner and I are trying to work through it, it's more of a mental condition than anything and we hope to soon order a kit from online that helps...

but I have been scarred, and my sex drive is virtually non existant. my partner has a super high sex drive and I'm starting to feel upset that i'm not pleasing him enough. He seems okay about it, but I'm worried he's not.

We've tried herbal libido enhancers like horny goat weed and energising sexual pre-made tablet things... but none of them seem to work.

Does anyone here know if there are any medications available to increase my sex drive?

thanks
zayco

[Brandye]

Do not waste your money on the kits, books, self-help and training programs offered on the internet. And do not feel alone in not being helped by the libido boosters sold there, either.

Vaginismus is a primarily psychological condition that often requires competent counseling to overcome. You have evidently gotten to the point where penetration is possible. That is a major step and I admire your doing that. The rest of the issue is psychological and your gyn should be able to recommend a competent sex counselor for you.

There are neither herbal supplements nor medications to help.

[zayco]

hey... well the 'kit' I wanted to order was from the official vaginismus site www.vaginismus.com I believe, and there are hundreds of reviews from people who have used it. It does primarily focus on the psychological, with books, DVD's and a vaginal dilator set, to train the muscles to stop having spasms.

We have tried to go through conselling, but the counsellor we had wasn't very good, and there are very very few 'sex counselors' within Australia.

as for the penetration thing, I CAN allow penetration, but it does hurt a LOT... if I'm highly highly aroused (which is extremely difficult for me), it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much, but it still hurts a little.

the main problem here is my sex drive, even if my vaginismus was better, we only have sex once every three to six months, when I want it to be three or so times a week. My first sex counsellor recommended getting a blood test to check for hormone imbalance.

[Brandye]

OK, your choice.

There is no recommendation I can give without a complete history and exam by a competent gyn and then referral to someone who has dealt with this. Some psychologists are quite good whether or not they specialise. I would not recommend to anyone that they deal with this level of the issue without help.

Ever consider that there is a relationship between the pain and the sex drive? Our bodies have ways of telling us things.

[zayco]

hey...

my partner and I went to a gyn back in our old state (we just moved states), he couldn't find anything wrong... he DID say I was excessively dry down there, and he prescribed a numbing gel to apply when it hurts, but it didn't work... he actually told us that vaginismus was a myth.. not a real condition, which I didn't really appreciate.

and yes I definitely agree there's a relationship between the pain and low sex drive... fact is.. it might be better, but I cant tell because I havent had sex in so long... my sex drive is so bad though, I'm thinking maybe if I increase my sex drive through hormone therapy or medication, that'll give me a kick start to improvement.