My Life

[trueblue1]

@#%!^%^&^*

[Brandye]

Well, actuarially your chances of making it as a couple are slim. But, we are not statistics, we are people and you could be the ones beating the odds. The things going against you are the different stages of social development and the stages of physiological development. These you identify. I can also assure you that you will be wondering about others at some point. The "seven year itch" is real.

At the moment, you could be experiencing post-partum depression which would cause all sorts of negative thoughts to rise up. The demands of motherhood are beginning to be felt. This is not a time to be making a decision. Please continue your education because that is the greatest protection for yourself if things do not work out.

Your description of him could be that he is a bit immature and that may actually be in your favor.I would recommend a couple months of adjustment to the married and parental life and then a sit down with a counselor because there is a long road ahead for each of you. You describe is as getting yourself into a "mess." See what it looks like in six months.

[chelsea]

keep up in school and colledge that will be the best option becasue you have gone this far with him!
if you decide you would like to leave him or he like you leva you its not the end of the world tell the child the truth and your family, they will understand and will have you back they will be happy tht you have gotten rid of him
how old are you meant ot be to come onto this site????

[Yija]

Hi, I sort of have a similar problem, Im 19 and got married with a guy who is 5 years older than me now we have to babies and its like the love vanish or im not sure if i still love him. so i know where you are coming from all i can tell you is to see if things might workout for the best of it otherwise you are young and waste the best yeras of your life next to a guy where the relationship is goin no where.

[trueblue1]

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[Maribelle]

Is there any way to know when he wrote that? Maybe he added the picture of you 2 after he'd written that other stuff & just didn't think to remove that other nonsense If there's no way to know, then you could let him know that you have a MySpace & saw his -- you're happy to see a picture of the 2 of you, but curious why he has that other stuff.... Do try to remain calm in the confrontation & not resort to either emotional manipulation or rage, but also be gentle with yourself enough to realize that doing so simply makes you human....

Some guys are trying to play everyone including themselves while some guys just get caught up in happiness & forget about stuff like that this can confuse the #e!! out of us girls

I'm 26 & my guys is 39 -- I worry about the same things.... When we 1st got together he was looking for marriage & kids -- I already have a daughter, though & so we decided to get an IUD to hold off on kids & we're not getting married yet because when we do we're going to also change my daughter's name & that puts more dynamics into the plan he started out with (my original plan was to be single for the rest of my life, LOL!)....

I can't answer anything else for you -- I can only say that some stuff is normal & some stuff is perfectly OK to take into therapy & there's no shame in that Boundaries is relationships are difficult enough, I personally believe that having a place like therapy to release & sort through a bunch of this confusing frustrating stuff can only help the Self as well as the relationship!

Are you in the US? YWCA often has free individual and/or group counseling with babysitting & a hotline number to call when you need....

*PEACE*

[trueblue1]

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[Maribelle]

I worry about a lot of stuff related to the age difference, especially his health (both his parents are diabetic, but he's MD & he takes care of himself).... A lot of issues are more related to my own self -- I was molested as a child & going through a lot with that which is taking a tole on our relationship because I'm taking things out on him that have very little to do with him & so I'm in therapy & on meds for depression/anxiety Most of what I take out on him is my feelings of inadequacy because I'm not as experienced or mature with some things, etc. & I get to feeling like I'm not good enough or he wants someone else even though he's always been very loyal & understanding & supportive *SIGH* Right now is a very difficult time for me because I totally freaked out last week & decided we need a break for me to get myself under control so I'm staying with my parents I don't relaly know where we're at with our relationship, but we're both working through some emotional pain, frustrations, confusion & I'm hoping he's willing to welcome (as oppose to "let") me come home again after I chose to leave Every person, every relationship is different -- we're not married, but you are ... I believe that as long as we each continue to work on ourselves then we'll have an easier time coping in relationships, making them healthy & making them last!

[trueblue1]

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[Brandye]

You should go into therapy and your husband should be aware and supportive. The relationship cannot get strengthened if you are not strengthened. He has as much to gain as you have.