One night stands

[kiwigirl]

New to this so bare with me. I am thinking of having a one night stand with a guy I kind of know when I go on holiday shortly. For me this is something I have never done before and would like some advice. Am I protecting myself from any harm etc by wanting ground rules to be set down prior the night taking place and if we find we like each other what happens next as he lives in one country and I live in another.

your words of wisdom will be appreciated

[wifey]

i am no expert myself i had one one night stand, i knew the guy, we flirted etc. we didn't plan it, got drunk one night things just progressed from there. when it happened i didn't enjoy it all that much because i need that thing they call chemistry...
i do have friends who are in serious relationships and find it rather thrilling to have a one night stand on a side...
i don't know, depends on the kind of person you are i guess...

[Brandye]

I think many of us have had one-night stands. Some talk about them and some would rather forget them. I have had some pleasant experiences and some terrible sex. Never felt in danger. The ground rules are very important as is your trust of the individual. There can always be surprises and, if you do not know him well, an escape route is necessary.

My suspicion is that more of us have found them boring and inconsequential than dangerous or exciting or satisfying. Most of my one-nighters have been with people I have known for a while and we simply took advantage of a situation.

As far as distance, My finace and I were different primary citizenships but we each had dual citizenship with our mother's being from the same nation. We met on another continent and never intended to live in either of our home nations. You are getting ahead of yourself in considering the logistics of a long ter, long distance relationship.

[kiwigirl]

Thank you for that, it is much appreciated. When we have chatted, he knows that condoms will be number one priority with me and he understands that. The plan is for us to meet, then have dinner somewhere and then go back to my hotel as I'll be on holiday where he lives. He's quite happy with the ground rules thing.

[Brandye]

Well, he is getting laid! That should make him happy with ground rules. Watch out for those Aussies. Or is it Ozzies down there?

[kiwigirl]

Actually the Aussie I'm going to be seeing is actually a scotsman..... small world. But then again I could say that I've already had a few flings both on line and in person with an Aussie who is really a kiwi (long story with that one) and may meet up with this kiwi come aussie again while on holiday as we usually have a good time together when we do see each other (not what I would call him a one night stand as such). But this Scotsman come Aussie is a different kettle of fish as I have swapped a few e-mails with him and chatted to him on line a few times but in all reality nothing will come of it unless we both want it. For me this will be a new experience as, like I've said, I've never had a one night stand and for me the ground rules are important and if I don't get on with him at dinner I can always back out of it and go back to my room by myself as I won't be giving him my room number when we meet but a time, day and place will be arranged before I go over. One question that has been on my mind for a few nights now, was who's reponsibility is it to get the condoms, I mean I'm on the pill (he doesn't know this) and I'm unsure of his size as he reckons he's "big". Do I get a selection of different ones or do I ask him to bring his own. I know this may sound silly but I don't want to be dashing to the chemist straight after dinner unless he wants to get them prior to coming back to my room for the marathon session that he is promising me...

[Brandye]

Back in my condom days I had a general rule that HE furnished the condoms, I was responsible for anything that went in me. I do still carry condoms (both regular and female) when I travel as "Just in case" although they have not been needed for quite a while.

"Just in case" have some commonly available, good brand with you. If he does not ring your chimes, you do not let him know how prepared you are. If he really rings your chimes and has none, you come to the rescue.

You are wise to be taking the precautions you describe - even with a Scot!

[kiwigirl]

Just to let you know, the Scot I was going to met up with won't be even in the country as he's gone back home for a while (nice of him to tell me) and as for the kiwi turned aussie, he's found himself a girlfriend but for how long i don't know so I won't be getting any action while on holiday. That is unless the kiwi turned Aussie decideds he is going to see me as he made it clear that he is terminating our friendship (see advice for full story)

[Brandye]

Your on holiday!!! Find a friend!!!

[wifey]

co-sign, don't let a thing like that ruin your holiday!