Rarely makes me climax

[Moccathunder]

Hi everyone. I have been with my man for quite sometime, and I rarely climax. I mean the sex is satisfying, but every so often, I want to feel the way he does when we are done. What can I do? Any advise welcome

[dancingdoc2]

It is important to understand that we do not give orgasms away to others. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her own. We are in fact responsible for our own orgasms. Brandye and I and a couple of others have replied to numerous posts about this. I am surprised you didn't run across one of these threads. Please check this out as just two examples (my reply (#3) and her followup):

http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/othe...nsitivity.html

That you can climax and have made the transition from being preorgasmic is the first requirement.

We all understand the basic mechanics involved in stroking a penis and fingering a clitoris; however, there is more and this is what I term the "fine art" of the technique. Shortly after learning to masturbate each boy and girl/woman develops a specific and unique set of motions, rhythms, and pressures that guarantee results and that we have come to rely upon. If we stray too far from what works then we either do not achieve an orgasm or it will be less than desired.

In order for any of us to achieve an orgasm at the hand of our partner, we must first teach him/her how to mimic our specific movements. I recommend demonstrating for him how you masturbate and then teaching how to do it by taking his fingers/hand in yours several times and guiding his movements until he learns to mimic what you do by yourself. Feedback is an all important part of this, also. When we are by ourself we have benefit of an internal feedback that permits us to modulate our movements or make midcourse corrections on the fly. This is missing when we turn control over to someone else because we cannot plug into our partner's spinal cord. In order to give each other the necessary feedback on how we are responding to his/her caresses, and for what we may need next, we use verbal or non-verbal feedback. Verbal can be a word or utterance; non-verbal can be a squeeze of the hand or some other body english that the two of you work out to have specific meanings.

Teach each other and learn together and you will achive what you desire.

All the best.

[Brandye]

Well, look at the good side: one-quarter of all women never reach orgasm. The two of you need a better form of communication. I never reach orgasm from penile thrusting, alone, so I am very upfront about needing oral or digital stimulation to get over the top. Then, I am upfron about "doing him" and simply enjoying the intimacy on occasion.

Get a copy of Our Bodies, Our Selves, and get up to speed on how your body works. The two of you may enjoy the Joy of Sex (now back in print) for some ideas about how to stimulate one another.

How successful are you in masturbation? What kind of fantasies do you use? Is he aare that you masturbate (or not)?

Mostly, stop thinking of his giving you orgasms. They are your orgasms; take responsibility.