Female Sexual Response ….

[orchid]

i think i may have posted this in a different topic, but i think it may be more fitting here (and a little different).

i'm just curious as to a few "statistics" (not necessarily acurate, but close) about when is the average age (or how long of experience) where women will achieve their first orgasm? how common (or uncommon) is it to have multiple orgasms?

[Maya Minx]

I have the same problem Senorita, maybe like me you try too hard? I was told that if you think about having an orgasm while masturbating you won't get there....maybe thats the problem for us both?

[sakura]

I have this issue as well.
I have NEVER been able to orgasm, and I've been sexually active for 7 years, and had some pretty attentive partners who tried their hardest. Not to mention my own attempts, manually, as well as toy-assisted. i reach a plateau of pleasure and then it just goes downhill from there. I dont make it a goal or put lots of pressure on achieving it. But it sure would be nice one of these days.

Not only is it annoying for me, but it takes a toll on my partner as well, making them think they can't please me. Although I reassure them that they certainly do. I've read numerous books on female sexual disorder, all of them seem to chock it up to women being too timid to try masterbation, or because of botched surgeries or a mentality that leaves them ashamed about sex.

None of which applies to me. Ive read the statistics, which often vary, saying that anywhere from 1/4th to 3/4ths of women will never experience orgasm. Now, that is really depressing. With so much attention paid to men's sexual disorders, and the viagra craze.. its a real shame no one has come up with a remedy for women who are suffering silently.

someone help!

[Brandye]

First, Orchid: Most orgasmic women seem to have experienced the first orgasm in the early teens while masturbating. Multiple orgasms are probably less common than we are led to believe. We are all capable but often are not that interested. A woman can be satisfied without being satiated and that is where most of us stop. I never masturbate to multiple orgasms. I have had the experience with others – more commonly with women than men. There is a relationship between how early women begin to masturbate and their later sexual satisfaction. Roughly, the earlier, the better.

About a quarter of us never achieve orgasm; about half (I am in this group) do not achieve orgasm by penile thrusting; and that means about a quarter of us climax through penile thrusting as men want us to. That is their problem, not ours. For women, the brain is the most important sex organ. It is not the mechanics of sex so much as the romanticized view of sex that results in complete response. Once physical factors are excluded by a gyn exam, sex therapists will begin more with the imagination (fantasy) than with mechanical factors. An intense focus on the orgasm, alone, seems to inhibit orgasm.

The orgasm is actually a release of myotonia – muscles become extremely tense as we build up and the climax is the release of this tension. A combination of what we are expecting, what we are fantasizing and what physical stimulation leads to this tension. Once a woman experiences orgasm, subsequent orgasms are easier to achieve – we know what we are looking for.

All women are capable but some of us are inhibited for whatever reason. Many simply give up and accept a life without sexual response. I have had one patient who experienced her first orgasm in her fifties; a few who have experienced orgasm in their thirties after a few births. It is not uncommon for non-orgasmic women to experience orgasm after giving birth.

Those of us who learned through masturbation are generally able to transfer this response to sex with a partner. I was unable to with men; it was only after a few relationships with other women that I became able to respond with a man. Each step was learning what I needed and wanted.

There is no simple answer but the inability to fantasize is a recurring theme among non-orgasmic women. Perhaps we should practice more fantasy without a sexual focus. I would recommend that any non-orgasmic, mature woman have a complete gyn exam and ask for reference to a woman sex therapist. Yes, I am biased but believe that women can help more than men in this therapeutic setting. We can but sometimes require extraordinary steps to attain.

[Doug's]

I orgasm in the most boring way and most of the time I wish I could do better. I do become extremely tense, build up and then get VERY relaxed afterwards but it's just not what I expected out of "an orgasm". I've been mastrubating since I can remember and yeah it feels good but I don't get very intense orgasms. I've gotten a few really good ones when my hubby and I work for it but even still I can feel my muscles all tensed up and in a few minutes I feel like jello but there just isn't any extreme pleasure from it. I don't get it.

I can also "squirt" if I work with a vibrator. I've done it twice, it feels like peeing except it doesn't smell anything like pee.

[BTDTWoman]

Try fantasizing freely while stimulating your clit. If you feel uncomfortable with your sexual fantasy, don't censor yourelf or move away from it.. Follow your fantasy to any forbidden or dark place it takes you. The fantasies that make me orgasm are unspeakable. And they work every time.

[Poppy47]

I have a similar question to those that were already asked, but with slight variations. I have never been able to orgasm, either with a partner or alone. I come very close, but just as I get to the point where I think I will orgasm, I have a quick, strong, pulsing sensation in my vaginal area that is very uncomfortable. It only lasts a second or two and then I become over sensitive to the point where it hurts to touch the clitoris. Immediately after this strange sensation I have to remove all contact from the area and I lose all interest in sexual activity.

This can't possibly be an orgasm, can it? It doesn't feel good at all- in fact it is quite unenjoyable. The moments leading up to this point feel great but as soon as I hit that plateau everything comes to a screeching halt.

Can this sensation (the quick, strong shocking sensation) be a possible nerve problem? Any other ideas for what it is, what's causing it, or how to stop it are welcomed.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Poppy47

I have a similar question to those that were already asked, but with slight variations. I have never been able to orgasm, either with a partner or alone. I come very close, but just as I get to the point where I think I will orgasm, I have a quick, strong, pulsing sensation in my vaginal area that is very uncomfortable. It only lasts a second or two and then I become over sensitive to the point where it hurts to touch the clitoris. Immediately after this strange sensation I have to remove all contact from the area and I lose all interest in sexual activity.

Please read through this post & the threads...you might need less direct pressure. For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

[dancingdoc2]

Here are two additional articles that may be of help.

The Anatomy of the Female "O", Answered by Brandye & Dancingdoc2 & Inspired by Godiva

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

[Brandye]

Poppy,

That is likely an orgasm - in its present form for you. You can learn to control this. I would recommend that you seek out a qualified, female sex therapist. Most of us have a similar reaction sometimes. The sstimulation is just too intense and we lose the good response.

It is possible that easing off in pace or pressure as you approach will help. The clitoris actually does react into our bodies as orgasm approaches to protect itself. Men, commonly, go digging after it or we sometimes overdo it for ourselves at this point. Try clitical.com for alternative masturbation techniques but if this has been going on for long, you may find it more useful to ask a therapist what can be done.