I (we) need help with this....

[sprtskhne33]

About 3 days ago my girlfriend and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary which is tomorrow and we "tried" to have sex. I would be in her for maybe 10 seconds then pop out. What she had discovered I was hard/stiff/erected. When we did our foreplay with oral and hand jobs, we had the same problem. What do you think the problem could be? This is the first time it happened. One more thing to mention, this was my first time cumming and I tried to hold it in, so could that been the problem?

[dancingdoc2]

> This is the first time it happened. One more thing to mention, this was my first time cumming and I tried to hold it in, so could that been the problem?

I recommend not trying to hold off a climax, not until you learn control and not until you have some experience. There is an article listed in the Index on how to acquire control over your responses, please read it.

> I would be in her for maybe 10 seconds then pop out.

Are you stroking or thrusting for these 10 seconds? Either way, you are probably making your strokes too long. Shorten the length of your strokes and then work on the ability to sense when your penis is at the top of the shaft when you are at the entrance of the vagina.

There is nothing wrong other than a lack of experience. Do not be hard on yourself if what we are discussing is what is happening to you.

Lastly, if you believe that the best way to achieve an orgasm is from lots and lots of thrusting, then you are going about this backwards. The point to all the fooling around and making out we do is to build our level of arousal and excitement to the brink of an orgasm, first. Once you are in position, then it should NOT require very many strokes and thrusts to get you to climax.

[sprtskhne33]

For the 10 secs, it's a little bit of both, and as far as short or long, they're short strokes/thrusting. Everytime I hit my climax, it hurts but don't get me wrong, it feels good, it's to the point I'm scared of reaching it now because I don't know to expect. I've talked to many different people and they told me it varies. What I mean by it hurts, with me holding it in it's putting pressure on my stomach. But not just with that, my shaft hurts to the point that it "tickles" the rest of me, I feel good inside. When I go into her, I don't feel anything and neither does she, I don't feel anything in her and she don't feel me go in and when I stroke/thrust, but the only time she does is when I give a hard, pushing thrust into her, which I guess I'm hitting her g-spot. I've noticed that she moans and screams to a point that it's a porn video, so I'm taking it feels good for her. I will take your advice and read that passage about controlling my reactions.

[dancingdoc2]

> What she had discovered I was hard/stiff/erected. When we did our foreplay with oral and hand jobs, we had the same problem.

Neither of these two sentences makes sense.
* What is it about being hard/stiff/erect?
* Foreplay is essentially oral and/or hand stimulation. How can you pop out?

Originally Posted by sprtskhne33

For the 10 secs, it's a little bit of both, and as far as short or long, they're short strokes/thrusting.

Whether stroking or thrusting, if you are disconnecting (popping out) then the length of your stroke is too long, plain and simple. Make a conscious effort to know where you are along the length of your shaft at all times. Knowing this should prevent the problem--as well as the possibility of worse things, like not realizing you are outside and ramming your penis against he floor of her crotch instead of going back inside. OUCH!

Everytime I hit my climax, it hurts but don't get me wrong, it feels good, it's to the point I'm scared of reaching it now because I don't know to expect.... What I mean by it hurts, with me holding it in it's putting pressure on my stomach. But not just with that, my shaft hurts to the point that it "tickles" the rest of me, I feel good inside.

Your description of tickling and hurting are conditions I have not run across before. What hurts, skin of the shaft or inside?

If your wish is to hold of climaxing and to prolong intercourse, then I suggest reading this article listed in the Index:
Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation

The article mentions two techniques for delaying a climax and describes one method in detail. Both are much better than the mind over matter method you are attempting.

When I go into her, I don't feel anything and neither does she, I don't feel anything in her and she don't feel me go in and when I stroke/thrust,

Both of you should feel you pressing against the vaginal opening and going thru it. As for feeling the inside walls of the vagina, for you it depends upon position plus the fact that when a woman is very aroused the vagina expands in diameter making it impossible to fit your penis like a glove. She will feel a sense of fullness by you being inside her, however, there are no nerve endings inside.

Your climaxes will come mostly from deep stimulation of the root structure of the penis inside your abdomen, from moving the shaft in different directions around the base where it attaches to the mons, and from contact with the vaginal opening.

but the only time she does is when I give a hard, pushing thrust into her, which I guess I'm hitting her g-spot.

Probably not. Do you know where the G-spot is located?

I've noticed that she moans and screams to a point that it's a porn video, so I'm taking it feels good for her.

Don't guess--ask. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with an for each other. This requires communication and feedback as explained in an article on making out.

I will take your advice and read that passage about controlling my reactions.

[Brandye]

Why did you send me an identical pm? This is the place to get feedback. Same response: This makes little sense.

All couples have the slipping out problem vaginally and need to work that out themselves wist position adjustments. Slipping out of her mouth or hands?

Was this your first attempt at intercourse? If so, we all need learning.

[sprtskhne33]

No it's not our first attempt at intercourse, we've had sex before. As far as the pop in and out, it's only in the vagina, not oral or hand play. What I mean by the tickling feeling, its inside the shaft (if that makes sense) then travels up my sides into my arms and back. What it feels like is someone or something is, well, tickling me. What makes it hard on the positions, we don't have an actual place to have sex, we can't do it at either one's house due to parents being around (yes we live with our parents, she's 18 and I'm 20), and we have no friends that have a place we can do it, and we both prefer not to even if we get offered, it don't/won't feel right. The way we do it is the basic missionary position, her on bottom and me on top because of her being bigger than me so she don't crush me, having a cracked rib so she don't disturbed it, and it's more comfortable for both of us. The thing with being stiff/hard/erected, my penis isn't staying that way, it's only like that for a few moments like the 10 second's mentioned before, and then goes back to normal. And with that, it's goes crocked and sometimes it gets to the point it's so erected, it hurts and I can't do anything, even go use the RR it hurts so bad. I hope this is more info and better understanding to you of our situation.

[KinkySexKitten]

So you get soft after 10 seconds? I'm not sure how old you are but it's likely due to performance anxiety.

A hurting, rock hard penis sounds like a case of blue balls. Do you feel this pain after being hard for a long time without cumming?

[dancingdoc2]

Please slow down, KinkySexKitten. First, before replying to a post, please read what it is you are replying to. sprtskhne33 gave their respective ages in the information you replied to.

> sprtskhne33: The thing with being stiff/hard/erected, my penis isn't staying that way, it's only like that for a few moments like the 10 second's mentioned before, and then goes back to normal. And with that, it's goes crocked and sometimes it gets to the point it's so erected, it hurts and I can't do anything,

"Blueballs" occurs after the make out session ends without having a climax. This is not what he is describing.

> sprtskhne33: Do you feel this pain after being hard for a long time without cumming?

Very often a fella's penis will become so engorged with blood that it will feel like it will burst. This conditions happens when he is in the company of a lover who turns him on--really on. When home along, this rarely if ever happens. Along with this (extra) engorgement comes a more intense orgasm. So, while masturbating produces pleasant orgasms, having them when the sparks and pheromones are flying between two people, is one reason we like and seek partner sex. Having said this, your penis shouldn't be that uncomfortable at these times that it is disabling you; it should simply feel "overly stuffed".

As for positions, try the Woman Superior or Cowgirl in which she is above you. Have a look at the animated illustrations available of the site's Home page. She can rest on her hands or forearms and not place pressure on your upper torso. Another position is the "X" or "Y" positions as I refer to them. A couple reclines on their sides facing each other at an angle. The difference between the two is in where your legs go.

> What I mean by the tickling feeling, its inside the shaft (if that makes sense) then travels up my sides into my arms and back.

Unless your description and my experiences are the same yet explained differently, I do not know what is going on with you. It can happen that when we are very aroused, or certain nerves are touched (like at the base of the neck) that a sensation very much like electricity will go down the spine and end either in the penis or scrotum. If this is not what is happening then maybe Brandye or a local physician can provide an answer.

I hope this is helpful. Got questions?

[sprtskhne33]

I was talking with a friend at work today and she had given me some ideas. She had stated to give me and girlfriend room to try different things, use a hotel room that is cheap that we can have no interruptions. In fact, there is one by where I work and it's only $40 and when we leave, there is a drop off box to place the keys in. She also stated instead of going out to eat, eat at the hotel so we can stay in one place. I was trying to get everyone's take on this, if this sounds like a good idea or for me to think it over. As far as my issues or whatever you wish to call them, she also agreed to help me out . I hope that she is able to help me out. One last thing, does planning out a night for our "sexual fun" make it less enjoyable and make it seem like work than fun?