Gets less erect when about to penetrate

[G_nebula]

Hey to anybody with any advice, me and my girlfriend just started recently having sex more often than before. Before we did with each other we were both virgins, so it means a lot to both of us, and we've had sex before and it was great, but for some reason this last time when we did, I kept losing my erection when I was about to go inside, not completely to where it went back down to it's "hung" state, but enough to not give me enough "straightness" to penetrate, kind of in between, like with a little arousal it would be fine, but quickly go away if the arousal wasn't constant up to the point to where I would try to go in. This happened for a brief minute or two the time before this, but got it fine after she gave me oral for a bit, and we went ahead, but this last time we tried to it would be fine after we would do a little foreplay to get started, but every time I would try to, it would lose its rigidness the second I would try to penetrate. I really don't know what the problem is, in the past, whenever looking at porn or something of the nature, my erection would never just straight-up "go away" at random, and I've masturbated since that night and it hasn't happened since. It seems to keep happening only when I'm about to literally have sex with her, not oral or anything else, just normal sex. We've had sex before this which is why this is so puzzling, in fact, we had less trouble on our first time. It's very disheartening to both of us, I don't want her to think that I don't find her sexually attractive, because I find my girlfriend to be gorgeous, face & body, and I don't want her to think it'll be like this every time. I'm pretty sure it's something mental, but I'm not sure what, we were the first ones to even see each other completely naked and like I said were each others firsts, so it's not because I'm insecure about myself in front of her or feel awkward about sex with her, because I don't. Also it felt almost uncomfortable [but only for me] at certain angles until we would get in a good rhythm. Would the angle of my penis when it's erect have something to do with my difficulty penetrating? because mines the kind that doesn't curve up at all, it's perfectly straight, and I know guys differ on that, because certain positions felt great while others would almost hurt when first going in and I'd have to adjust myself for it to feel good. Very confused on all of this. Plz help.

[dancingdoc2]

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> This happened for a brief minute or two the time before this, but got it fine after she gave me oral for a bit, and we went ahead, but this last time we tried to it would be fine after we would do a little foreplay to get started, but every time I would try to, it would lose its rigidness the second I would try to penetrate.

I believe there are two factors at odds here that are at the source of your problem. First, if you believe that the way to a great orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking, this is not correct. This is the why of Foreplay and all the fooling around that goes on beforehand. As you noted, above, when you had a bit of Foreplay, your erection stood tall and firm! The second concern is nerves or what is known as "Performance Anxiety".

* A man should not enter a woman's vagina until he is on the raw edge of losing control--and then invited to enter, directly or indirectly.

* PE is quite common and comes from worrying about this, that, or the other. The fix is to quite simply stop worrying and to begin relaxing and enjoying.

Another possible culprit to losing your erection when attempting to enter might be if you have to apply some pressure to get inside. If the pressure is substantial this can apply pressure to the internal root structure of the penis inside the abdominal cavity and this will cause a loss of erection. I sort of doubt this is a problem as this usually only happens when attempting to get past the hymen, or later, if her vaginal opening is quite tight. It's a thought.

Now, let me talk a little about the last part of your post. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together. Talk to each other and give feedback on what you need now/next when caressing each other.

If you make love with these factors in mind, there should be no worrying, angst. You have to understand that all this is and will continue to be a learning experience, and when we learn new things, we are not likely to be perfect at them for a while. I understand that you want to do things properly, however, some understanding and flexibility on both your parts will help relax you.

Finally, although intercourse may be the ultimate goal, do not rush to get there. A couple of us regularly tell people that the "trip is more about the journey than the destination." This being the case, I believe that if you set the pace and the two of you proceed slowly, devoting lots of time to making out before ever getting to the foreplay stage, you will both become much more highly aroused. Women require no less than half an hour of Necking, Petting, and Heavy Petting, and we guys also benefit. So, take your time and enjoy the sights, smells, and pleasures along the way and when it is time to visit your "destination", you will be on pins and needles--and very ready.

Please read the articles listed in the Index that discuss making out as well as making love.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[G_nebula]

Yes, it does help. To be honest, I never thought it was something physically wrong with me to begin with, because like I said, it was an "of the moment" type of thing and now that I think back to that night, I was focusing on just trying to penetrate way too much, and trying to force it, because I guess I thought if I didn't, she would be dissapointed in me. I realized though the other day, when masturbating [because I was trying to see if I literally had a problem, and comparing the way my penis was then to that night] and I realized, I wasn't near as hard as I could've been that night, and I think it might have to do with the fact that I was focusing so much mentally on it, and not just letting it naturally happen like in the past. Thank you though, very much, this did help.

[Brandye]

Another dimension: It takes energy and blood supply to maintain an erection. If she climbs aboard, you save the muscular action of mounting and the diversion of blood. Find a position that does not require you to support your entire weight.

[martinsex101]

Hi,

When I pull my pennis foreskin back and try to insert into my girlfriend vagina I am loosing my erection and couldn't able to go very deep ...since it is not too hard I am facing serieous problem in ejaculation ...still I try to ejaculate but most of my sperm stay outside her vagina...we are serioulsy trying to have baby from last 1.5 yrs...What I observed is when I do masturbation by standing on the floor I get good erection and goes well without pulling my foreskin back and I enjoy the climax ....If I pull my foreskin back at erection and try to masturbate I am loosing erection when I touch shaft of my penis during masturbation movement and my penis will be in hung position (not too hard).

Similarly when I am trying to Insert my penis by pulling my foreskin back into vagina..my pennis goes inside with erection and looses erection in short time and gets soft too early ...it makes my penis shaft too soft and at this moment when I try to ejaculate,most of the sperm is staying outside of the vagina...

Please help me ...

Regards
Martin