Medical vs Mental cause of PE?

[mattc]

So I've been trying to beat a case of premature ejaculation when I'm with my wife for a while now. I've read a lot about it and have been trying to do kegels as well as the other methods and exercises I've read about. Last night we had sex and I was able to last quite a bit longer than normal.

The key I've found is anticipation and buildup. When it just happens, no foreplay and not mental buildup I'm fine. If we are talking about it, planning it, have lots of foreplay,etc I can't stop myself at all. I know there are some physical changes the body undergoes when you're getting close to orgasm, what I don't know is if something could be physically wrong that prevents me from being able to control it. For instance, I've read that pressure builds in the prostate, no build up means no pressure and I have control. Could that be a prostate problem? Am I not doing enough kegels or not doing them right?

I haven't gone in for a checkup, which I should probably do but I'm hoping one of the more medically aware members can point me in the right direction here. Thanks in advance for your help!

[dancingdoc2]

Matt, did you read this article:

Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation

If so, then the Squeeze technique works well in the here and now--immediately. More can be found through Google, etc.

If the two of you practice the exercise described, then you should be able to gain control over your reactions in just a few weeks, depending upon how often you work at it. The exercise is not something that you can do alone, it takes two. The whole point is to be able to associate those sensations that immediately precede a climax so that you can stop all action and coast back down your arousal curve and then continue on after the sense of urgency subsides.

The squeeze works well when applied to the base of the shaft or at the top where the corona rim connects. Clamping hard and not moving are keys.

If you are typical then you are climaxing without regard to stopping when you now that any movement from "here" on will trigger a climax. The trick is to get you to recognize when you must not continue on and to give your conscious mind a "wake up" call so that you don't just say "oh well" and continue on because it feels sooooooo goooood.

MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude

Please scroll down to this chapter.

[Brandye]

What you describe is not unusual. The longer you maintain an erection, the shorter you last after penetration. Among the physical changes you experience during arousal is enhanced sensitivity - of the penis and the rest of your body.

There is not likely anything physically "wrong." As you describe you would last longer during a quickie than during protracted love making. Many of my (male) partners, especially when younger, had this same experience.

Depending upon your recovery rate, a quick handjob or similar early in the love making will delay your orgasm during penetration. Early in my life, an aunt suggested the technique with young men was to jack them off during foreplay, "It slows them down and gets you longer sex." As you age, this may not be practical because male recovery time becomes longer. It also requires your wife's cooperation.

Doc, in previous post, has given good advice. The squeeze technique requires a cooperative partner but with those partners where I was involved, I found it a pleasurable part of sex.

[dlb]

Hi Mattc,

I think that PE is usually a combination of physical and psychological factors. When I was younger I had similar experiences to yours. I still agree that a lot of foreplay tends to cause me to reach orgasm sooner. You might try to avoid stimulation of your genitals during foreplay. Concentrate more on your wife. This will relieve the physical part some.
You are correct about the build up of pressure. More frequent ejaculation, from more frequent sex will relive that some. You also might want to try the Grunt Technique which is quite simple and once you get the hang of it you will find that it actually does relax the ejaculatory apparatus. You might even find that you are able to have multiple ejaculations and multiple orgasms through this practice. Kegel exercises will not help you postpone ejaculation. They can help you have a more intense spurt of semen and they can help you have more intense orgasmic spasms. Kegels are about tensing the PC muscle. You want to relax the PC muscle to delay ejaculation. That is why you might benefit from the grunt technique.

grunt technique - the man mimics the action of trying to pass a difficult stool and grunts in the same manner. This actually eases the tension in the ejaculatory apparatus thus allowing him to postpone ejaculation for a while. At first you might want to stop thrusting. If she asks what's going on, especially what the grunting is about, you can tell her. After you have done it a few times you know the muscles and don't have to actually grunt. With practice you should be able to postpone ejaculation and possibly ( in my case it happened) separate ejaculation from orgasm thus allowing yourself to have more orgasms in a session.

I should add that just because it worked for me doesn't mean it will work for you. Your mileage may vary, as they say.

Back to the psychological aspect. I found that the more I worried about how long I would last the shorter the amount of time I lasted. Stop making it an issue with yourself and it might go away on it's own.

[mattc]

Thank you all. I have read that thread, though it's been a while and I should probably have a refresher. I have tried the squeeze technique and it cause me to come all over my hand. It was funny and we both laughed, but I never tried it again. I think I need to spend more time working on this....oh poor me, more jacking off. I hate it when that happens!

Thanks again for your help.

[edm]

Hello DLB

I am interested in the grunt technique. I need to last longer during intercourse.
I just don't seem to understand the explanation on "trying to pass a difficult stool and grunt in the same manner".
English is my second language. By stool, do you mean a kind of chair with no arms and back? Or is it just an expression?
Is there another example on how to perform this grunt technique? Thanks

[mattc]

edm, stool is the more polite way of saying poop.

[dlb]

Originally Posted by edm

Hello DLB

I am interested in the grunt technique. I need to last longer during intercourse.
I just don't seem to understand the explanation on "trying to pass a difficult stool and grunt in the same manner".
English is my second language. By stool, do you mean a kind of chair with no arms and back? Or is it just an expression?
Is there another example on how to perform this grunt technique? Thanks

Grunt and act as if you were trying to defecate. It is that simple. This will relax the pubococcygeus muscle. This is is like a "reverse Kegel" exercise. The Kegel tenses the PC muscle and in order to delay ejaculation you need to relax that muscle and others.

Yes, I too know about squeeze technique leading to ejaculation in someone's hand.

[edm]

Mattc, DLB

Thanks. Now it is clear. It seems pretty simple.