Penis hardness during SEX

[martinsex101]

HI,

I am facing this problem from a longtime..while doing sex when I try to insert my penis into my girlfriend vagina it won't be hard enough to go inside...I just
try a little bit and ejaculate...I don'the know the reason why my penis is lossing it's hardness when I try to insert....we are seriously trying to have a baby from past 1 year....because of this all sperm is lying outside of vagina..when i do masturbation my penis stays erect for a longtime and I get a enjoy feel or orgasm at the time ejaculation but the same is not happening during sex with my girlfriend also my erection do not stay for longtime...

when I do masturbation I lie flat on bed with my penis facing roof of the building and I stretch my legs and body to geat extent ...

When I have sex with mygirlfriend I lie top of her (penis facing towards her vagina) my butts face towards roof of the building..In this position i feel difficulty in stretching my body and I just conceentrate on pushing my penis.
Also I don't geta enjoy feel / orgasm as much as I get with masturbation...

Could you please suggest me what makes to have my penis erection for longtime while doing sex with my girlfriend ...As I mentioned earlier we seriously tring to have baby from past 1 yea ..Please please help me ..

Cheers
Martin

[nuttychick]

You have tried with her on top ? Is that any different since you
seem to prefer maturbating lying on your back...

Just a thought

someone lke Doc will be along soon with good advice

[Brandye]

Nutty has a good idea. When you are on top you need energy to hold your body up. On your back you will not be tensing to hold yourself up. On the bottom, you may be able to maintain erection. Another good position is to have her lie on her back and drape her knees over your hips whilst lying perpendicular to her. Neither of you has any stress in this position and each has access to stimulating the key parts of either of you.

[dancingdoc2]

> I am facing this problem from a longtime..while doing sex when I try to insert my penis into my girlfriend vagina it won't be hard enough to go inside.

Hello Martin. My first thought is that this is a condition known as "Performance Anxiety", however, you have a long history with your girlfriend so this pretty much rules this out. If it was PA, the cure is to simply stop worrying about all the things going through your head.

> I don'the know the reason why my penis is lossing it's hardness when I try to insert.

My second thought is that if it requires some pressure against the opening in order to slip your penis inside, then this causes a back pressure against the root structure of the penis inside your abdominal cavity. There is as much penis inside our body as outside that is for support. Often when we continue to push against the opening that does not expand easily, this pressure pressing back against the shaft can cause a man to lose his erection.

If this is what is happening in your situation, my recommendations are:
1. make certain her vaginal opening is well lubricated, either using her mucus and/or a lubricant. It is not necessarily sufficient that a woman is wet, the wetness must be distributed all around the opening so that there are no dry spots. You can do this with your finger while making out.

2. make certain that your penis is well lubricated also. Purchase some lubricant and have her spread it all over the shaft of your penis as well as the tip.

> when i do masturbation my penis stays erect for a longtime and I get a enjoy feel or orgasm at the time ejaculation but the same is not happening during sex with my girlfriend

This is interesting because as nice as masturbation is, having an erection when your lover is present is most often much much stronger. It is not unusual to experience the sensation that your penis will burst open because is cannot expand any farther. Why? Because we are aroused much more when our lover is there than when we are alone. This is all do to the "chemistry" between a man and a woman. I am surprised that this is not happening in your situation.

Orgasms generally tend to be more intense when we make love with our partner than when we are doing it alone. I'll be willing to bet that once you solve the entry problem that the sensations that your penis is about to split at the seam and having a more intense orgasm will follow.

> also my erection do not stay for longtime.

> Could you please suggest me what makes to have my penis erection for longtime while doing sex with my girlfriend

Erections tend to have a mind of their own. They come and they go all the time. This is nothing to be concerned about. If you find your erection subsiding, just go back and make out more. Your girlfriend can stroke and/or stimulate you with her tongue and mouth in order to rebuild the erection. This is done all the time.

Give the lube a try and use pressure against the opening. Do not push, shove, or jab.

I hope this is of help. Please keep us informed. If you you have anything else to add, later, please do.

[martinsex101]

Hi,

I think i am facing "Performance Anxiety" and as a result my penis tip is becoming soft while trying to insert in to Vagina...Since we r trying to have a baby from a longtime I am forced to ejaculate immediately after insertion... By doing like this What I observed was, my sperm do not release with a force and just stays at the entrance spot of her vagina...Moreover even after a long foreplay we are not too excited in having sex so I try myself to make my penis erect and try to insert into her vagina....do you feel we need to consult a doctor to get a feel on enjoyment while having sex...we are desperately looking for a baby .....enjoyment is not our man focus ...to have baby we do sex from 11th day to 18th day after her menstrual cycle....when I think out this dates while having sex I do not get erection properly and my penis won't be as hard as when I do Masturbation...I am thinking of consulting a doctor to discuss this problem ...I need your valuble suggestion to handle this problem....

Cheers
Martin

[martinsex101]

Hi,

I think i am facing "Performance Anxiety" and as a result my penis tip is becoming soft while trying to insert in to Vagina...Since we r trying to have a baby from a longtime I am forced to ejaculate immediately after insertion... By doing like this What I observed was, my sperm do not release with a force and just stays at the entrance spot of her vagina...Moreover even after a long foreplay we are not too excited in having sex so I try myself to make my penis erect and try to insert into her vagina....do you feel we need to consult a doctor to get a feel on enjoyment while having sex...we are desperately looking for a baby .....enjoyment is not our man focus ...to have baby we do sex from 11th day to 18th day after her menstrual cycle....when I think out this dates while having sex I do not get erection properly and my penis won't be as hard as when I do Masturbation...I am thinking of consulting a doctor to discuss this problem ...I need your valuble suggestion to handle this problem....

Cheers
Martin

[jlkidl]

if i had to i would grab her from behind

[martinsex101]

Hi,

Could you please suggest me what needs to be done to overcome my problem.....

I think i am facing "Performance Anxiety" and as a result my penis tip is becoming soft while trying to insert in to Vagina...Since we r trying to have a baby from a longtime I am forced to ejaculate immediately after insertion... By doing like this What I observed was, my sperm do not release with a force and just stays at the entrance spot of her vagina...Moreover even after a long foreplay we are not too excited in having sex so I try myself to make my penis erect and try to insert into her vagina....do you feel we need to consult a doctor to get a feel on enjoyment while having sex...we are desperately looking for a baby .....enjoyment is not our man focus ...to have baby we do sex from 11th day to 18th day after her menstrual cycle....when I think out this dates while having sex I do not get erection properly and my penis won't be as hard as when I do Masturbation...I am thinking of consulting a doctor to discuss this problem ...I need your valuble suggestion to handle this problem....

Cheers
Martin

[demonbuttercup]

I think you answered your own question Martin.
Sex/pregnancy has become a goal to achieve rather than a baby being a result of 2 people having sex. Do you even bother to have sex days outside of her fertile period?? How was your sex life before the baby idea come about? Does your g/f just see you as a baby maker? or does she find you sexually attractive?

You even state that the enjoyment is NOT the main focus... so of course it would be normal that your penis isn't wanting to cooperate!
Im not sure that you need to consult a DR but maybe both of you take a step back and understand why you two are SO desperate to have a baby, and why have you let this aspect take over your love life?

You always here those stories about women who do fertility treatments over and over w/ no pregnancy. They finally realize that a biological baby just isn't in their future... so they adopt a baby. The stress of trying to conceive is lifted off their shoulders and then the woman becomes pregnant just by chance.. w/out them even trying!

I guess the point is... stop trying so hard! I know that seems obvious and easier said than done.. but stress isn't helping your performance or your partner's ability to conceive.

I would say you two weren't the first couple or the last to have this obstacle when trying to have a baby. Sex goes from being something enjoyable that you guys do to be close and have fun... into just another daily function... like flossing or clipping your toenails!

Who is most excited about having a baby??? Is it HER?? or are you both wanting this?
If you are even remotely not sure about wanting a baby... that could be your reason.
What if in the back of your mind... you KNOW this isn't what you want... so your body is doing everything it can to make it NOT happen?? eh just a thought. I know everyday we read on here about kids who are scared their g/fs might be prego.. and they for sure DON"T want a baby... but it happens anyhow. Some things you just can't control.