Confidence issues? Mental block?

[bWg]

There's a girl that I've been friends with since high school, and there's always been subtle flirting and whatnot, but I've had a girlfriend up until a month ago. I threw a party at my place and we both got drunk and ended up in bed. I'd never been more turned on in my life, but I couldn't get it up. She was fine with it, and we've been hanging out a lot since then.

We ended up in bed again, not drunk this time, and it was a great time, but we didn't have sex. I'm more attracted to this girl than anyone I've ever known, but I can't get fully aroused.

I think it's all in my head, but I don't know how I could "fix" this problem. It's never been an issue before. Any advice would be great.

[Ducy]

Well you have known her forever so your probably freaked out cuz you know her on a level more intimate than a couple (Assuming your really close)

Also your probably freaking out subconsciously because of the fact you didnt get hard last time. (Realize though its not your fault because the alcohol acts as a depressant which means your not going to be able to get aroused very easily.)

If your with her and you have another chance, try doing the program that EEK has so graciously posted. This will allow you to please her and perhaps relax enough to be able to have sex.

You could also talk to her and tell her that you are attracted to her you just are nervous.

[bWg]

I realize that the alcohol was most likely to blame, but I still can't get past this. I feel like I need to redeem myself or something before I'll be able to do it, but how is that supposed to work if I can't get an erection when I'm with her?

[Ducy]

Well, you can always just try talking to her this may help ease your nerves since she will know about it and you wont feel embarassed cuz there is nothing to "prove" anymore.

[michael7276]

years ago I "got with" a gal that I had a crush on. We had become friends during the years of my "unknown-to-her-crush". I experienced some difficulty initially once we started "dating".

Looking back I can say I was overwhelmed with emotion and a mental block. The gal pointed out that a sexual relationship takes time to build just as a friendship does. In time, the sex was MIND BLOWING! Just talking about it will relieve some of your anxiety as well as draw you two closer!!

[lnt1103]

Sounds like first time jitters, and Michael is right about it taking time.

The quickest way to 'redeem yourself' is to eject from your mind the concept that you need to. Shut your brain off. You're out-thinking yourself. And if you continue to do so, it will build and become a pattern. Your mind has to be just as relaxed as your body does in order for this sex stuff to happen.