Dealing with Erectile Dysfunction - need tips

[cyclefreak]

5.75" is about average, so nothing to worry about there. (I'm just under 6" erect by the way.) With an attitude like hers, I'd say that girl is not worth worrying about, so you'd be better off finding someone else. It was probably just performance anxiety. If you can get an erection when you masturbate, then you know that everything is in working order. Don't stop masturbating altogether, but maybe a short period of abstinence before your next attempt might help with your arousal.

(Actually, I don't believe its possible for any male to abstain from ejaculating indefinitely. To any guy who doesn't believe that, try it, and see how long you last!)

[andremara]

drumindude,
A person who's intention is to hurt through a 'small' comment may have given off other clues that she is not a supportive, caring person. That would make *anyone wanting for lack of safety; the antithesis of being in the state of arousal. I dated a women with whom I had anxiety - she was not safe emotionally - and for the 1st time in my sexual life I couldn't get it up. Oi! I don't know, maybe the dangerous ones attract you?

[Brandye]

This is a well developed thread and has good responses. I only wish to warn against messing with your meds without advice. They are, quite possibly, a part of the problem and can be adjusted. DO NOT EVER mess with psychotropic drugs wihtout your doctor's participation. Any of us who have ever prescribed this stuff has run into sexual side-effects in patients. Your docotr will be sympathetic.

[goof'schik]

I am a 40 something woman who is in a relationship with a man who turned 60 this year. In the three years we have been together we have had no problems, for either of us. He wants to please me and I want to please him. We have great communication, he didn't believe me when I told him I didn't own any "toys", but it gave him a great idea for some valentines day gifts. We do not live together, and sometimes with work we only see each other one a week. And that has had to be cancelled for work as well. When we first started to sleep together there were weeks when we "did it" several times a week, and if I was able to stay let's just say I knew it was 3 am.
Now the ED, he went for a physical in June, and is being sent for tests. Since then he has been in a downer of a mood, and that makes me unhappy. We tried everything, well almost everything I am not into a threesome, different positions, different times of the day. I read up on anal, we have always done oral, nothing worked. He wasn't able to climax, and well I have been left a little sore. Yesterday I decided that it was the day. I sent him lots of emails, we email all day anyways, but I gave him a taste of what he was going to get. And after 3.5 hours in bed, we have never started in bed unless it was 3 am, we got what I had come looking for. It was our 4th try, and the first time he has ever told me to shut up. When he knew he was there, he told me what he needed to do to finish and that's what I let him do. Both of us were spent.
Is this ED, do I need to worry about the next time? I want to please him, and that without trying new things I don't really know if I like it or not do I?

[Brandye]

Well, goof, this is far from the original issue of this thread - different circumstances, entirely.

You describe him as sixty years old and in a downer of a mood because of possible health issues. A lapse can be expected. You have had a success. That indicates that the situation was epiphenomenal. Some men are no longer functional at sixty and some use a little help in the form of cialis, viagra or companion drugs.

When he has his follow up visit with the docotr to review his tests, this should be discussed. Nothing wrong with having a little help in the medicine chest. My guess is that as his confidence is restored, that thing will function as before.

Geriatric sex often includes some more rigorous techniques for men - specifically oral and digital. Perhaps you should brush up on those techniques.

I have been having an infrequent relationship with a man nearly twenty years older than I for the last fifteen years. Those four weekends a year we see each other have gone from four or five ejaculations to two in a two day period. The Sunday morning "good-bye" has usually been oral because I do not like to drain for the two hour drive home and now it is necessarily oral to get him off. I still get what I want from the relationship.

Short answer: yes, it is probably onset ED but help is available.

[goof'schik]

I guess the new member got me, as I too am new to this board. I am going to ask him to talk to his dr, and to look at this board.
Knowing your not the only one out there is in itself helpful to me. He's a great guy and a wonderful person I'm lucky to have him. The age differece is of no big deal in my heart or in his. I hope that today he's walking around with a smile, or a least an extra bounce in his step.

[dlb]

drummindude,
So far all the answers and suggestions that I see here sound sensible and reasonable. I think you should probably take all of them into consideration.

Personally I think that what happened was performance anxiety and possibly medication related. I incline more toward performance anxiety though because you do not mention any problem maintaining and erection while masturbating.

I have a friend from middle school who began dating a guy when they were both around 26. She confessed to me that when they were making out he would be plenty hard, but when they would try to consummate the relationship he would go limp. It turned out to be performance anxiety ( he was a virgin and she had had several lovers), but they eventually worked through and they have been married 22 years and have two wonderful children.

Also putting a condom on can bum your penis out. If that hapens go back to doing what got it up in the first place and see if you can get her to help you put it on.

5.75 inches is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't believe that the woman who made fun of your size is the sort of person you want an intimate relationship with. There are many polite women out there who are filthy, trashy, trollops in bed and would be thrilled with you and your penis.

[Ladentide]

I had something similar happen recently... I had difficulty sustaining an erection during sex for any longer than about 10 to 15 minutes... as little as a month and a half ago I could last 30 to 45 minutes without even cumming.

I'm thinking it may have been because I was overly tired, I had been eating a lot of fast food and I was under a lot of stress, but it was still embarrassing. Despite this, I still did my best and got her to have quite a few orgasms. She probably left not offended, but just confused.

So remember, if you can't seem to keep it up and you wanna try to save face, just eat her out until you can't possibly any more.