Couldnt Get It Up

[ILS]

the other day i was about 2 have my first time and the girl i was with is a virgin 2....the nite b4 i drunk aot of water and 4 some reason did alot of push ups...the day of i masterbated in the shower ( where it still wouldnt get full erected) when i was at her house...my dick was hard when we where dressed but as soon as she got naked it went soft on me...ps the girl is hella attractive....help me...wat can i do

[demonbuttercup]

Nothing other than just a case of the nerves.

[ILS]

i didnt really feel nervous...is there anything i can do from preventing it 4rom happening again

[dancingdoc2]

It's called Performance Anxiety and it is nerves. It will go away in two ways: W#1 is to quite literally stop worrying--I know, easier said than done; W#2 is to become more comfortable with the relationship.

So, you go soft. No big deal unless you decide to make it one. Just spend lots of time fooling around and making out in order to rebuild the erection. At the same time all that kissing and caressing will prepare her.

[sera300]

The more nervous you become the likely it will reoccur. Focus on her and not worrying about what MIGHT happen. Trust me...its all in the brain. And as a woman we do understand this happens & has nothing to do with attractiveness! She might have to do a bit more work to get you to become and remain erect. Best advice? DO NOT WORRY--it's a guaranteed mood killer for men (they go limp) and women while nervous (go dry)!

Also, do not masturbate the day or so before you plan on seeing her until this is worked out.

[ILS]

while i wasnt fully erected i was focusing on her but it didnt seem 2 do much 4 me

[dancingdoc2]

Have her focus on you and messing with your largest sex organ-- your skin.

We guys do have a tendency to go soft at the most inopportune times, and what is more bothersome than this is that the guy gets all flustered and concerned and believing his is a failure when nothing could be further from the truth.

Y'all need to read up on how to make out and why it is important to spend lots and lots of time making out, necking, petting, and then foreplay along with all the preceding stuff. If you go soft, fall back and rebuild, it really is no big deal and think of all that fun and the extra time spent doing it! It's the same thing as is the cup half empty or half full. Let her devote time and attention to rebuilding a limp penis and just lie back and get lost in the feelings. If the erection absolutely will not come back after a time, stop, cool down and try again later.

Now, please read the articles listed in the Index. They were written for a purpose.

[ILS]

kissing really doesnt do anything 4...i guess i just need 2 let her know i like 2 be pampered 2 lol

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by ILS

kissing really doesnt do anything 4...i guess i just need 2 let her know i like 2 be pampered 2 lol

better work on that kissing thing!! that's where it really starts!! good,great kissing is a sure fire organ awaker!!

[cyclefreak]

Yeah, I've suffered this performance anxiety thing myself, and still do at times. If you don't get an erection one time, then you worry about it the next, which ensures that the problem continues. So its a self fulfilling thing. The more you worry about it, the more you ensure that it continues. The only way to overcome it is to relax, and not focus on the act itself. Just focus on all the other things, hugging, kissing, touching etc., and don't even expect to have sex. If you do that, then you will probably find that at some stage, hey presto, you have achieved an erection, and it all just happens easily at that point.

And another thing. This is just a personal theory, but I suspect there may be something in it. I reckon when you are anxious about something, the body releases adrenalin. Since this is the 'fight or flight' reflex, it is the enemy of testosterone and has the effect of temporarily killing off one's libido. (The body is gearing up for survival related physical activity, and is not interested in sex.) Hence the need to relax. (Not sure if this is strictly correct, but seems likely to me. Whenever I have been anxious like this, I notice that 'Mr Wobbly' tends to shrink to his minimum dimensions! Hmmm.)