Going Soft Early

[justagirliegirl]

My boyfriend has an issue with sometimes going soft in the middle of sex. He thinks it is because he is tired/out of shape. Is that likely? What else could be the issue?
There are times where we have great sex where he certainly climaxes, but not every time.
I am open to any feedback - don't hold back
Thanks

[dancingdoc2]

Hey Girl, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums.

> My boyfriend has an issue with sometimes going soft in the middle of sex. He thinks it is because he is tired/out of shape. Is that likely?

Yes it is; however, I am not convinced that this is at the core of his difficulty.

> There are times where we have great sex where he certainly climaxes, but not every time.

Based upon many years of forum participation I have observed that people new to relationships, making out, and later "sex" in one form or another, by and large spend little to no time with fooling around and making out (Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting) and rush right to Foreplay in which fooling around with the genitalia is the predominate focus. If this is what the two of you are doing then you are placing the proverbial cart before the horse. Both of you and especially you require a lot of time to build arousal, sexual tension, ardor, excitement and expectation before ever concentrating on the genitals.

> I am open to any feedback - don't hold back

I recommend that the two of you read the Index and the relevant articles listed in it.

The reason I'm recommending this is because the many articles address the most common concerns and/or problems people ask about. Consider them in part as tutorials for improving method and technique.

If he is going soft, one reason might be that the two of you are doing other things and not giving his penis a "touch up" in order to maintain firmness. Regardless, if and when this happens, give it your attention.

If intercourse is initiated before he is at the peak and about to loose control, then you are most probably beginning too soon.

After reading the various articles, if you have questions, please feel free to ask. There are a lot of caring knowledgeable folk here.