Celibacy and health issues

[Hommerun]

I've always been fairly active sexually...but have been celibate for almost two months now. Is this healthy? Or should I be cleaning the plumbing every now and then?

I've been abstaining from all sex - masturbation included. I'm in my 40's...very fit, active, and healthy. I'm dating a guy that I like very, very much. (Yeah, I'm a guy too..yup. I play for the other team).

I met the guy I'm seeing via an online hookup late last year. We were sexually involved at first...and it was great sex. When we quickly discovered a connection that went beyond sex, we talked about it, and opted to start dating. This created a new dynamic...the need and desire on my part to find out who this guy really is..and I opted to re-prioritize sex in my life in order to give myself time to know this man better. I'm enjoying befriending him, cultivating his companionship, and learning more about who he is, what he values, and what direction he's heading in life, his strengths, his vulnerabilities...and much more.

Taking sex "off the table" seems to allow me to put more focus on romance, and to bring more depth to spiritual and emotional bonding and sharing. And its really not been difficult for me to bypass sex at this stage. I'm really into this guy for all of who he is.

So I'm kind of amazed that this is happening...and since I'm normally a horndog, not at all used to abstinance.

Like I said, should I be a bit more attentive to my bod...polish the bishop now and again...and backflush my swimmers to keep all systems check?

I may be in this mode for a few more months....depends on where our hearts take us.

thanks

[dancingdoc2]

I believe you can get along quite well abstaining unless stress and sexual tension drive you to seek relief. If your pipes need flushing your body will produce a nocturnal emission as needed.

I can see abstaining from sexual activity with a partner, and am interested in learning what you believe will be gained by not masturbating.

[sera300]

I found having a FWB (on the side) suits the physical need taking the emotional level in a personal relationship to being more apparent--physical needs are being met; therefore, focusing on the other is easier.

[Brandye]

Interesting switch of stereotypes here. It is the guy, hommerun, who is expressing benefit from brief celibacy and the woman, sera, who suggest getting a little on the side!

Just an observation. I have, at different times, done each of these.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Interesting switch of stereotypes here. It is the guy, hommerun, who is expressing benefit from brief celibacy and the woman, sera, who suggest getting a little on the side!

Just an observation. I have, at different times, done each of these.

Stereotypes! Such an issue; see women DO like sex just as much if not more then men...LOL!

[Brandye]

Sera, we are just a couple of horny chicks!!

[Hommerun]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

I believe you can get along quite well abstaining unless stress and sexual tension drive you to seek relief. If your pipes need flushing your body will produce a nocturnal emission as needed.

I can see abstaining from sexual activity with a partner, and am interested in learning what you believe will be gained by not masturbating.

Doc...thanks for the info! My dreams have been fairly erotic off an on during this time...but I can't actually remember the last time I had an honest to goodness wet dream. That would be kind of cool.

And your follow-up question is a good one: Why no masturbation? I guess I'm making a clean break of it...trying something different. Putting sex totally on the shelf, to make spirituality and emotional growth a priority. I've never been really that satisfied with masturbation anyway. Maybe some baggage there. Your question definitely gave me a start...and it is something I can toss around (no pun intended!) in my mind and see if it leads anywhere.

[Hommerun]

Originally Posted by sera300

I found having a FWB (on the side) suits the physical need taking the emotional level in a personal relationship to being more apparent--physical needs are being met; therefore, focusing on the other is easier.

Hi Sera. I spent the last 3 years trying on single life again (after the end of a 10 year relationship). I quickly determined that I wasn't satisfied with quick hookups via the internet. But I did meet a few guys that became FWB's (or FB's to some) in the process. Worked for all parties involved. However, when one of us started dating...the sex stopped. Its hard for me at this age and stage to have a sexual relationship a guy ongoing and not develop some degree of emotional involvement - i.e. becoming friends And once that happens, it makes it more difficult to sustain the sex part of the relationship. I think I'm tapped into my new guy pretty heavily emotionally so an FWB feels to me, like it might undermine my ability to bond with him. Just my ramblings...and thanks for bringing the idea to the table. It is another good subject for thought.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Hommerun

Hi Sera. I spent the last 3 years trying on single life again (after the end of a 10 year relationship). I quickly determined that I wasn't satisfied with quick hookups via the internet. But I did meet a few guys that became FWB's (or FB's to some) in the process. Worked for all parties involved. However, when one of us started dating...the sex stopped. Its hard for me at this age and stage to have a sexual relationship a guy ongoing and not develop some degree of emotional involvement - i.e. becoming friends And once that happens, it makes it more difficult to sustain the sex part of the relationship. I think I'm tapped into my new guy pretty heavily emotionally so an FWB feels to me, like it might undermine my ability to bond with him. Just my ramblings...and thanks for bringing the idea to the table. It is another good subject for thought.

I found you can develop an emotional attachment to one and have a FWB with another...therefore the need for sex is met w/the FWB & you stilll have a friend. By doing this, your need for sex is not the cause of the emotional attachment to the one you are seeking a relationship with--this allows for a more objective analysis of the person overall rather then a hormone rampage driven beginning. Good luck!

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Sera, we are just a couple of horny chicks!!

Nothing wrong with that! Now, it's the men who complain about keeping up with our libidos! LOL!