Masturbation Problem

[Jude]

I really enjoyed the start stop method, and practiced to a point where I will not cum through masturbating unless I cross my legs and squeeze them together. I assume there is something I am pushing on to speed the process on, but I would like to be able to masturbate normally again. Any suggestions?

[dancingdoc2]

"Hey Jude..." (Sorry, I just couldn't resist.)

I do not understand what your problem or concern is. If you use the start and stop method, it should be just that--a pause in the proceedings allowing your sense of urgency to subside before continuing on. There should not be any reason for this technique to hinder masturbation. If you do not start and stop, then a climax is likely to happen sooner than later. The opposite is also true. No harm no fowl.

Please clarify for us what you mean:
> I will not cum through masturbating unless I cross my legs and squeeze them together.

> I assume there is something I am pushing on to speed the process on

Thanks,
Doc

[Brandye]

You are pessing your legs together and squeezing the prostate which is the source of most of your ejaculate - by volume.

My experience with men has been that they reach orgasm faster with their legs together than when they are spread eagled. I also have had partners that can be set off quickly by cupping their scrotum and pressing upward with my fingers on the perineum. Good way to fully (almost) empty the prostate.

I doubt that there has been much actual change in your masturbation; you are just very aware of it.

[Jude]

Thank you guys so much, this is a very informative place

[goldenchild1010]

I'm a relatively young man (31) in good health (150 pounds, 5,10), exercise 3 times per week with weights but never cardiovascular activities.

Over the last year i have started to see ED problems. Usually it is very late at night, 2am or past this time, and i have had a few drinks and am pretty sensitive to alchohol. But still, i feel that ED at my age for my health with no real health problems is a serious issue.

And now it has tarted to scare me so every time i am with a woman i get scared it will not come up and then of course it doesn't come up.

my questions are:

1) What possible solutions are there to erasing the anxiety i feel when i am with a lady? are there any mind messages i can give myself to help?
2) Will pills like viagra / cialis help me if it is psychological?
3) If you can get har enough to masturbate to orgasm, does that automatically mean you can get hard enough for penetration? Or is the hardness needed for masturbation less hard than hardness for penetration?
4) Why can i masturbate 2x in less than 15 minutes but have trouble getting it up with a girl?

Please help, i am really concerned about my health long term.

[dancingdoc2]

> my questions are:

1) What possible solutions are there to erasing the anxiety i feel when i am with a lady? are there any mind messages i can give myself to help?
4) Why can i masturbate 2x in less than 15 minutes but have trouble getting it up with a girl?

The answer is to quite simply stop worrying. Worry is self perpetuating. This sounds simplistic and may be harder than it sounds, yet if you eliminate the angst, you will achieve a cure.

Another thing that will help stop this is when you become more comfortable with the woman and the relationship.

i have had a few drinks and am pretty sensitive to alchohol. But still, i feel that ED at my age for my health with no real health problems is a serious issue.

Alcohol at your weight can be more of a problem than someone who weighs much more. Drinking can have a drastic affect on libido and erections, regardless of weight. It is a depressant. So, too, will trying to perform in the middle of the night or any other time you are tired and exhausted.

2) Will pills like viagra / cialis help me if it is psychological?

I'll let Brandye or Sera weigh in on this; however, I believe we all agree on the solutions, above. Stop worrying, stop drinking, stop carousing late at night trying to start something you can't finish.

3) If you can get hard enough to masturbate to orgasm, does that automatically mean you can get hard enough for penetration? Or is the hardness needed for masturbation less hard than hardness for penetration?

Yes--worries and distractions aside.

If when masturbating you find your erection is semi-rigid, very often it will firm up immediately before the orgasm is triggered. An erection is not mandatory for a climax. An erection is required for any sort of meaningful intercourse. If you find yourself with a soft erection yet can engage in intercourse, you may very well find that you will firm up as noted.

> Please help, i am really concerned about my health long term.

If you are getting erections, spontaneous or not, and are able to masturbate OK, then I'd say you have nothing to worry about except worrying--and drinking. STOP.