Erection problems - Help me help my boyfriend!!!

[lovemedo]

You could say, in a way, we are both new to sex. I was a virgin when I met him and he has only had sex with one other girl, many years ago.

For some time now, he has been having erection probs. He'll get it up, and things will start out really great, and just as things get real good and intense, he loses it. I just don't understand why this happens! He says he is really turned on but just cant help it. He also gets extremeley frustrated and down on himself about it. Also, the fact that I can't orgasm seems to get him even more down on himself. He says he's not good enough and that guys shouldn't have problems like that. I say, that occasionally every guy would experience erectile probs along those lines. Am I right? Or is what he's experiencing worrisome? He's even talked about going to see a doctor! or going on meds or something! I dont think its necessary. Just to give you an idea, it doesnt happen that often, maybe a bit less than every other time we have sex. It's just so unpredictable. Sometimes he'll last a LONG time and things will be fantastic, othertimes he just can't... It's really hard for me to see him like that...

My personal theory as to why this happens is that he was cheated on with his last girlfriend. Perhaps the event caused him to doubt his ability to pelase a woman and made him overthink every sexual situation he has been in since. Maybe he's too nervous now and too scared of the same thing happening? Could this have an effect on mens sexual performance? That's just my personal psychoanalysis lol.

What do you think? Is there anything I can do to help him? IS he just stressed out? Is it normal for guys to be like this...

[unknown11]

Performance anxiety, he is thinking to much into this. try and get him to relax because the more he worries the harder it will be for him to keep it up

[dancingdoc2]

The above reply is spot on, no matter what the underlying cause. By worrying any guy becomes his own worst enemy and the cure as silly as it seems is to quite literally stop worrying. Do a search on "Performance Anxiety".

Please read what I had to contribute in this thread: "Assistance, please" in the PLEASING HIM forum.

> Also, the fact that I can't orgasm seems to get him even more down on himself.

In addition, please read my Sticky post: "For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?" in the NEW TO SEX forum. The information should give him insight into the matter so that he understands the dynamics and will not get all bent out of shape unnecessarily.

Guys are performance and perfection freaks about matters of love and romance. What we fail to understand are that from time to time things do not go as planned. While sex is serious business, no one should take it too seriously. There has to be some wiggle room. Making love is a partnership and a team effort. It is not what one person does to the other; rather, what we do with and for each other. The boy has to lighten up and just relax do his best while realizing that if things don't go quite as he plans, no big deal, as long as you and he are enjoying the overall activity.

If you have more to relate on this please feel free to do so. I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[sexyboyLJ]

What my girlfriend used to do is make me a bath and wash my hair and body this used to relax him alot so i think you should try that, not all women orgasm in a same way try different Positions and before you even start sex try oral sex or maybe even fingering because if you are more sitimulated then that might make it a little better.

[onechance2fall45]

just give him what i like to call a blumpkin. its a BJ while he taking a ****. it mixes the satisfaction of a nice steamy poop with the pleasure of some brain. thanks for your time.

[HardNgood]

....say what???