Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controling Premature Ejaculation

[dancingdoc2]

I regularly describe an exercise technique that a guy and his partner can practice that is designed to train a guy's mind to recognize when he is about to climax by associating those sensations that immediately precede a climax with it so that the orgasm does not sneak up on him.

Another method that Brandye recommends is the "Squeeze technique". For information on this method, please do a Google search.

Premature Ejaculation visits nearly every young man up through his mid twenties. For the rest of us, it can pay a temporary and transitory visit anytime throughout our life. Even though we are susceptible to it the condition usually does not bother us until we enter into a relationship with someone. The reason it does not really manifest itself when we masturbate is two-fold; first, because we do not become as highly aroused when by ourselves; second, we have the ability to self-regulate the stimulation we generate and modulate our movements better than if someone else is providing the stimulus.

P E is a problem that happens most often when our partner is the initiator of some activity; or, when we become extremely aroused and then any little extra friction or movement of the penis takes us beyond the point of no control such as:

* when we are at the brink of an orgasm and any little movement of the penis then stimulates deep seated nerves within the root structure
* when we begin entering the vagina
* during the initial inward stroke
* during the initial outward stroke
or during one of the next couple of strokes

P E happens during the first minute or so of intercourse. If it happens several minutes later, it is not
P E; rather, an unplanned and ill timed event. Regardless, there are two ways to handle the problem. The Squeeze technique is great to use in the here and now. I recommend a training exercise that a fella and his girlfriend can practice that will train him how to gain mastery over his orgasms by learning to associate those sensations that occur immediately prior to a climax and when he can still maintain control.

The exercise is not something he can do when home alone. It must be done as a team and partnership effort. Why? Simple: because when we masturbate we benefit from an internal feedback that lets us modulate our movements and control our actions. This is not available when we turn the reins over to someone else. So, we must develop another form of feedback that is accomplished with both "verbal" and "non-verbal" forms of communication. (These are explained below.) The exercise will most likely take several days to a few weeks depending upon how often the two of you can do it. It's fun and it will help him gain and maintain control.

WHY DO I CUM SO SOON?

The cause is simply a typical guy's inability to recognize and then associate those sensations that happen immediately prior to having an orgasm, and, those feelings that are associated with some benchmark along his climb up the arousal curve when he still has the ability to maintain control of his climax and not coast beyond if all stimulation is stopped.

The idea is to train a part of his brain to remain aware of what is happening and not to become totally and completely lost and involved in the moment of bliss. He must be able to keep part of his brain focused on what is happening rather than to become all consumed and lost while enjoying the fruits of her labor so to speak. He absolutely must be able to tell his partner to pause what she is doing (hand and/or mouth stimulation) and not just say to himself, "oh well" or "this is so good and I'll just try to go a little longer", etc. He has to say or otherwise indicate that she has to stop IMMEDIATELY if not sooner. Her part as his partner is to do just that and take her hand or mouth away as if she had just touched a hot poker! or at the very least hold his penis rigidly still. She cannot move his penis in the slightest because doing so will likely stimulate deep-seated nerves at the base of the penis or in the root structure inside his abdomen and he'll coast beyond the point of no return. Again, if and when this should happen, neither party should make a big deal out of it. Say "woops" and try again, later.

Another of his tasks is to learn how long to pause or to slide back down the curve before starting up again so he can call a hault to the proceedings long enough for the sense of urgency to subside. So, not only does he have to recognize and then communicate to his partner when he is about to climax yet won't if she immediately stops; he must also learn when that sense of urgency has subsided well enough to start up again.

THE EXERCISE--

The exercise is for the couple to get together when they are not planning to get romantic and when they can devote a half hour to it each time. The purpose of the exercise is to train him to recognize (consciously) when he is about to climax yet can still stop it from happening; and, when he has reached the point of no return. These two benchmarks have specific sensations associated with them that he needs to learn to recognize. When he can, then he can achieve control over his orgasms. Once he can recognize and identify both benchmarks, the next task is to see how close he can move the first one to the second (trigger point of his orgasm). This just takes practice as well as a conscious effort on the guy's part instead of just becoming lost in the emotion and feel good sensations and either not stopping when he knows he should, or, simply not recognizing when he needs to put a temporary halt on the proceedings.

The reason why a guy cannot master the technique by himself is because of his internal feedback. When we masturbate we modulate our movements and make tiny mid-course corrections along the way based upon what we feel--or not. So, feedback is preventing us from ejaculating or climaxing prematurely. When we turn the job of stimulating ourselves over to our partner, we loose the ability to govern what happens through internal feedback. In order to counter this, we must give each other verbal or non-verbal feedback or cues. Verbal cues can be a word or utterance; non-verbal feedback can be a squeeze of the hand or other gestures that the couple work out to convey specific meanings like how s/he is responding to their partner and for what is needed--now.

The first thing to learn is to "wake up" from an utter state of bliss and make a conscious decision to have her stop the stimulation of his penis when he recognizes that he is getting close and then convey this need to her. What's happening now is that the man is in such a state of euphoria that he does not recognize the sensations associated with an approaching climax. The purpose of the exercise is to get him to make a conscious decision to wake up when he recognizes that an orgasm is about to happen and to either tell her or indicate that he needs her to immediately stop all movements! Her obligation at this point in time is to absolutely, positively, immediately stop because even the slightest motion of the penis after this point will often be enough to take him past the point of no return.

TAKING THE TRAINING PERSONALLY--

In the early stages of his training, he needs to stop her pretty early and way before he knows an orgasm is going to happen. As he gains experience and confidence, then she should begin moving this benchmark closer to the trigger point of an orgasm. Eventually, and with practice and awareness, he will be able to place the two pretty much side by side which intensifies his pleasure while giving him complete control over his climax.

Now, having said that, the two of you should take the exercises seriously yet recognizing that mistakes will happen and not to get upset that you have an unplanned climax. This is to be expected and will not happen as you gain experience. So, just laugh them off and try again, later.

Find some time when you know you will not be disturbed for a half hour or so and then relax in a chair or recline on a bed and let her stroke your penis. DO NOT use oral stimulation because the intensity of the stimulation will just complicate matters in the early stages.

After building his level of arousal, pausing, and then rebuilding it again a few times, finish each exercise session by letting him enjoy a climax. Do not leave him hanging lest he acquire a good case of Blue Balls. I also understand that you may not be able to find some separate alone time exclusively for the exercise, so, if you do have to combine them when you plan to get romantic and fool around, then you can, although doing so may add needless stress and distraction thus complicating the process. So do it this way only if you have no choice.

Repeat the exercise two to perhaps four times each session. As his partner you do not want to go overboard and drive him "mad", so when the two of you decide to end the session, let him enjoy a climax. How many sessions it will take depends upon how easy it is for him to make the associations and then to learn to "wake up" out of his all consuming bliss to tell you to stop. How long this will take depends upon how often the two of you can work on the exercise. Plan to spend a few weeks at this.

The reason I say that you should do the exercise when not planning to be romantic is because you want to treat the training sessions like a "Quickie". There should be no build up of passion beforehand. So, do not do any kissing or caressing, just grab on and begin working your magic with his penis in various ways to build up his arousal.

** Feel free to combine the Squeeze Technique with the exercise if you need extra help preventing an orgasm from happening. The squeeze works anytime and does not require any training other than just learning how to apply it. So, you now have two ways to gain and maintain control.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[norbit]

Great Docs. You are cool.

I must say.
Hey Gladwyn, you are here as well..
I guess you have definitely become a fan of Robert Irwin's e book.

I too have it , t o mention the least, I guess most of our members would already be having it!!


Bye

Norbit

[robinhood91]

this has helped me but i still have the problem
say i am making out with my girl at the end of a makeout session i seem to have let some go in my pants without knowing
also i seem to ejulate really early in sex with slim to none vagina contact

[dj12345]

i have the same problem. i cum right away when i enter her

[jbird112]

How come I can last much longer when receiving oral sex, but when I masterbate or have sex I have a problem lasting?

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading the Index and the Posting Guidelines found at the top of your screen on the Main page.

Let me answer your question in the following order:

Re: Intercourse-- You are receiving the type of stimulation that are accustomed to when masturbating. In addition, you are probably at or near peak when beginning to stroke.

Re: Masturbation-- Shortly after learning to masturbate, each of us establishes a set routine that is unique to each of us. If we/she varies the method too much then we will either not climax or it will be less than desired. There are two other contributing factors; first, if you are ignoring your internal feedback then your inner self will take over and push you beyond the point of no return; second, if you do not recognize those sensations that present themselves immediately prior to a climax, then it will occur by sneaking up on you.

Re: Oral stimulation-- This produces more intense sensations than just stroking. The reason this is so is because as nice as these feelings are they are not the same as how we've conditioned ourself to bring about an orgasm. Because they are not, the intensity of the sensations as well as our pleasure continues to build the more oral stimulation we receive--until we cry "Uncle" and have to stop because we can't stand (lie!) still any more.

There are two ways to turn this around; first, stop and let the intensity subside to a level below what is required to bring about a climax and then continue by hand; second, combine oral stimulation with the hand for what I refer to as the "Dynamic Duo". The oral portion will intensify the sensations while the hand job will trigger the climax.

[pokemon]

Try this, before having sex with your partner, masturbate/ejaculate first by solo sex, then go and start next session with her. It will last longer.

[IguanaMan]

Great article doc. I got a question. I'm sure the answer is simple, but I can't exactly figure it out. When you say, "he must be able to keep part of his brain focused on what is happening" what could help me better? I think that is where I am having a problem. What could I focus on to help me not get consumed?

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by IguanaMan

Great article doc.

Thank you for the kudos.

I got a question. I'm sure the answer is simple, but I can't exactly figure it out. When you say, "he must be able to keep part of his brain focused on what is happening" what could help me better? I think that is where I am having a problem. What could I focus on to help me not get consumed?

This just came to me while reading your question: the dual focus is not unlike a TV with PIP {picture in a picture) where you display a small window in some part of the main program that keeps you abreast of what is happening on another channel. You can focus on the main event and enjoy the action, yet part of your brain (think: peripheral vision and a hand wildly waiving off to the side to get your attention) scans what is happening in the little window so if necessary you can focus on that or if necessary swap windows, making what is happening in the little window the big picture, temporarily.

The sensations you feel, the emotions you experience are the main event and normally capture the majority of your attention, yet a portion of your brain monitors your progress up and along your arousal curve helping you with checks and balances so the climax does not sneak up and surprise you until it is much too late to do anything about the inevitable.

The intent of this thread is to give men the insight and tools to deal with surprises and how to (1) recognize the sensations that immediately precede reaching the trigger point of an orgasm, and (2), giving you two tools (Squeeze technique and the through mastering the exercise) ways to hold off an orgasm.

When I was learning to Ballroom dance, and was beginning to venture outside the dance studio into the "world", I discovered a lot of single women attending dances, either alone or having brought a girlfriend along for company. Thought I: "what is it that compels women to go dancing?" I began to ask and received many answers, some technical, some that it was enjoyable, etc. Yes, it was all these things to me, as I enjoyed the technical aspects of dancing, the challenge of dancing the same dance differently each time, the fun of it; yet it wasn't until one particular woman looked up at me from her chair and said "because it feels soooooo good!" Again, thought I: "it does? " Sure, it was enjoyable which is one reason I kept at it yet up to that point in my training and experience, everything I was doing was a conscious effort. There was no room in my conscious mind for the "it feels soooo good". This would come months later when muscle memory and training became "second nature" and along with choreography on the fly was transferred to my subconscious mind. Only then did I begin to really really enjoy the "ride", also.

Now, to answer your question. A person's experiences learning to dance and our experiences managing our physical and emotional responses have much in common. Initially, and for a while, you will be required to make a concerted effort to focus more on what your penis is feeling than what your mind is wanting to blissfully enjoy overall. The purpose of mastering the exercise with the help of your partner is so you can learn to first recognize the different sensations and then associate them to different benchmarks along your arousal curve--and particularly what it feels like just before reaching the point of no return just before a climax becomes inevitable.

Chapter Four: Please scroll down the series until reaching this chapter.
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude

As you gain experience, learning when to divert your attention from your blissful enraptured state to that of "management duties" (flag waving!) will become less of a conscious effort and will eventually become automatic. It just takes practice, practice, practice. Work on the exercise until you can regularly and consistently hold off orgasms and not have them sneak up on you. Once you can do this, incorporate this new skill into your lovemaking. It may seem for a while that you are not able to fully enjoy the rapture but as you gain experience, your subconscious mind will monitor that little window and the hand waving alerting you to the fact that you need to do something NOW to keep from climaxing.

I hope this long-winded monologue answers your question and clarifies it for others who may be reading all this over our shoulders. If not, send me a PM.

[new_neo]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading the Index and the Posting Guidelines found at the top of your screen on the Main page.

Let me answer your question in the following order:

Re: Intercourse-- You are receiving the type of stimulation that are accustomed to when masturbating. In addition, you are probably at or near peak when beginning to stroke.

Re: Masturbation-- Shortly after learning to masturbate, each of us establishes a set routine that is unique to each of us. If we/she varies the method too much then we will either not climax or it will be less than desired. There are two other contributing factors; first, if you are ignoring your internal feedback then your inner self will take over and push you beyond the point of no return; second, if you do not recognize those sensations that present themselves immediately prior to a climax, then it will occur by sneaking up on you.

Re: Oral stimulation-- This produces more intense sensations than just stroking. The reason this is so is because as nice as these feelings are they are not the same as how we've conditioned ourself to bring about an orgasm. Because they are not, the intensity of the sensations as well as our pleasure continues to build the more oral stimulation we receive--until we cry "Uncle" and have to stop because we can't stand (lie!) still any more.

There are two ways to turn this around; first, stop and let the intensity subside to a level below what is required to bring about a climax and then continue by hand; second, combine oral stimulation with the hand for what I refer to as the "Dynamic Duo". The oral portion will intensify the sensations while the hand job will trigger the climax.

hello doc ,
good to see you .....i have a querry as i do my PC exercise regularly,but someone told me that this can cause peoblem in the long run.So can you please let me know as should i still continue doing my PC exerise or shld i stop it ..

waiting for response ..