Guys, do you always cum when you have sex?

[Jiffylube854]

I'm 27, and I only lost my virginity about 6 months ago. I've been having sex pretty regularly since then. Is it normal not to cum every time I have sex? Last night I banged my gf and came, then again this morning I came, then about 2 hrs later we had sex again, but I wasn't able to cum, though it still felt pretty good and she got off. Is this normal?

[dancingdoc2]

> then about 2 hrs later we had sex again, but I wasn't able to cum, though it still felt pretty good and she got off. Is this normal?

Yes it is.

If you go back through my posts you will see that I mention this many times. Subsequent orgasms (to the first) can sometimes be illusive and difficult to trigger. Here are the fixes:
* wait a day before attempting to climax again
* only begin intercourse when you are at the very peak of your
arousal and about to trigger an orgasm, yet still maintain control
* finger the anus and/or the sphincters along the passageway
* massage the prostate, or, finger a nipple, or, squeeze a testicle
sufficient to cause a mild ache that under normal circumstances
would be annoying although not painful.

These forms of stimulation are ancillary to other caresses and help jump start an orgasm.

[Jiffylube854]

Thanks doc, I actually do a lot of that stuff (except the anal fingering) when masturbating, so I am familiar with it. I respond especially well to the ball squeeze.

In case I wasn't clear, my real question was whether it's normal to begin intercourse when you're "pretty sure" you aren't going to be able to cum again. Sometimes I will **** my girlfriend, get hard again, and **** her again, even though there's no way I would ever be able to cum again that quick.

Basically I just **** her and **** her, and after 30-45 min, we'll just kind of lie down and cuddle. It feels weird to me, like I am letting her down by not cumming. Is it normal, sexually, to BEGIN intercourse with your S.O. if you're not going to cum?

[Cleveland]

You're not letting her down--the intimacy is a very cool part of sex. Enjoy the cuddling. Having sex/making love is not all about cumming...it's about being together and enjoying each other.

[blackrosesred]

Originally Posted by Cleveland

You're not letting her down--the intimacy is a very cool part of sex. Enjoy the cuddling. Having sex/making love is not all about cumming...it's about being together and enjoying each other.

Thank you, Cleveland.


I suppose you could say I'm the type of person who, once you get me started I want to keep going. I'm still a virgin so we don't have sex yet, but whenever I please my bf in other ways I try to work towards getting an orgasm out of him, even if he's cum four times already in that day. Even if he doesn't cum, I know the stimulation feels good. It is all about knowing how to show each other that you love each other unconditionally and wanting to show that love often.

[dancingdoc2]

The male refractory (recovery) period is between ten and 30 minutes depending upon age and drive. Perhaps the thing for the two of you to do is to continue making out in a casual manner after an orgasm, giving your body time to recoup and then to begin to peak your arousal again for another (multiple) orgasm.

You can determine how long you have to wait in between any two by masturbating. If you cannot climax again for twenty minutes then this is the period of time you have to wait. If it is ten minutes, this is the duration, and so on. Depending upon age and "wiring" most guys can enjoy perhaps a total of three orgasms in a row before his body cries "uncle" and refuses to respond. A very young boy may be able to do it four or five times. The female of the species is more fortunate. They can enjoy many more orgasms in a row and spaced much closer together in time, often within a minute or two of the previous.

Now, here is where it gets interesting, if you and your partner want to enjoy multiple orgasms, you can do any of the following:
* help her to have all at once in rapid succession
* help her to have additional orgasms but spaced out in betwen two of yours
* help her to have two or three in a row and then wait on the next in line to coinside with your next one
* space her additional orgasms to match your and then when you are finished if she still wants more then to help her enjoy the remaining ones in a timeframe she wants

In between all of these orgasms the two of you can continue to make out and keep each other aroused, especially you. You do not want to slide all the way back down your arousal curve, just partially, so that when the time comes to go for the next orgasm, you won't have too much to do to reach the trigger point again.

[Blackweb]

I've had many sexual encounters where I did not come. Having orgasms previously, being tired, or attempting sex without really being turned on, or having a girlfriend who expects you to cum (talk about unhealthy pressure) will all do that.

It DOES kind of feel like a let down, though if women get to not have orgasms and still claim it felt good, it shouldn't be wrong that men do the same.

[Jiffylube854]

doc,

I just experimented, and I was able to cum twice in 18 min. The first time I just jacked off normally and came in about 10 min. The second time it took about 12 min from my previous cum just to get fully hard, then I was able to cum within 6 min, that was with pulling out all the stops (fast hand motion, massaging my balls etc). This is with me having cum twice the day before, too, so I wasn't "fresh". So, the equipment is working great I'll wager.

Okay maybe this has all been too much information, lol. But I would LOVE to come twice during sex even if we are doing it for 2 hours. But in her vagina or even mouth, I just can't seem to get the same stimulation I can get with my hand. My penis is kind of narrow (4.5" around), could that be a cause?

[dancingdoc2]

> I would LOVE to come twice during sex even if we are doing it for 2 hours. But in her vagina or even mouth, I just can't seem to get the same stimulation I can get with my hand. My penis is kind of narrow (4.5" around), could that be a cause?

Na, size is not the issue, although, conditioning certainly might be. Each of us is used to a certain set of sensations in order to get to an orgasm and then to trigger it. If we miss the mark so to speak either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than expected. That is one part of the problem. The second part is in how these sensations are created and often times why women get into trouble using and relying upon vibrators vs. their fingers.

My suggestion is to make sure you are right on the verge of loosing control before beginning intercourse. You want to "ripe" and ready, and not relying upon lots and lots and lots of stroking in order to bring you to this point that should be done by hand and/or mouth.

[Morbid]

4.5" around?! thats not narrow lol.. Are you sure you aren't meaning your length?