If you look at scientific studies and research, you may see that many of them point to the fact that those we are attracted to and monogamy are controlled by our genes.
For example, females (many species not just women) may be attracted to more masculine or dominant males and reproduce with them, yet choose to have those offspring raised by better providers. For humans, this may explain why some women love their husbands but still can't help cheating on them.
Both men and women may look at physical characteristics. Most women surveyed prefer height and men like big breasts and hips. This may be obvious, but have you really ever asked why? Many short men could kick taller men across the room and why should I care about how big one silly part of a women is? Tallness is a sign of dominance. Large hips mean a stronger child barer. Big breasts means more food for the baby.
Just today I came across a tv story on monogamy. This suggests the odd of faithfulness in a partner. It might be possible to actually calculate the odds of the person you are with being faithful to you or you being faithful to them.
Still, many will argue environment and the factors of what happens in ones life will determine who they are attracted to and how faithful they can be. What do you believe?
I do not believe people are genetically monogamous--it's a choice we make. It's estimated that 90% of all married people have had an affair. That's enough of a stat for me. And 50% of all first marriages fail & 60% of all second marriages fail.
Now now Sera that is certainly easy for you to say since you have these poor
men falling at your feet....................Naughty lady.
No, she's right. It comes to choice. If they really need something they're not getting, they should be having that conversation with their mate. If they can't talk about it there's something bigger wrong. But then I've always considered infidelity to be a symptom of refusal to deal with a larger issue anyway. No one's holding a gun to people's heads saying 'go do it with someone you're not married to'.
And by the way I think for third marriages it's something like 80%. People really need to learn to self-examine and figure out what ended the previous one before entering into a new one.
Int: I guess a third is out of the question since it's not a "charm" given those stats! However, what I found startling was the 90% which admitted having an affair. I agree with you there are underlying issues which are unresolved.
CL: I am monogamous; to much for my own good and can say I fall in the 10% who have not, regardless of the circumstances. I prefer to discuss matters and resolve such; adding a person to a bad marriage is not a good answer in my opinion. If both agree to an open marriage since it's their choice, marriage, and agreement. No, I just a few men of interest but none falling at my feet! I really do behave. :)
Well ok if you say so.........but.....well ok I got it.
[quote=constantlylearning;222759]Well ok if you say so.........but.....well ok I got it.[/quote] Glad you got it! LOL! I am not one to go elsewhere, never have, & never will.