MoonScorp, don't feel bad about it. It took me forever to finally have an orgasm and I have had lots and lots of sex. I still don't have one every time, it seems like every 5th-10th time. For me, the problem is when it feels intense, absolutely incredible, there is no way I'm going to orgasm. It's strange, but the better it feels, the less likely I will cum. After much practice, I do know what it takes to get me off, but I have to settle in and keep at it. The sex doesn't feel as good, but the pay off is great. And yes, you will know when you cum. It is different for everyone, for me, my ears ring, my body collapses and I can feel my insides contracting wildly.

It took me lots of practice, my hands, my vibrator, nothing really worked until I realized I need to be on top and I need to be having sex, no other way will do it for me but I haven't stopped trying to find other ways - I like the practice!

Hope that helps. Don't give up. Keep trying. The times I cum the easiest are the times I'm not trying at all, just enjoying.

Well, stop thinking about it.
The more you think about it the more you're gonna overanalyze everything and wonder if you're doing it right and how it's gonna feel and blah blah blah.
Turn off your brain and enjoy the pleasure.

I am on antidepressants, but I had this problem before I was taking them.
I tried getting off using jutst my hand yesterday and I was so close it was untrue, but I couldn't quite tip myself over the edge, I ended up having to use my vibe to finish it off which made me feel really bad, like I'd given in too easily.
I got to the point quite a few times where I was on the verge of orgasm but as soon as I started feeling like I was about to come, I think maybe I started thinking about it too much and it went away. I was so close, it was really frustrating.
Does anyone know if it will get any easier?

Yea people, you're perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with you. You are not abnormal and you don't need to feel like you are. A lot of women are in the same boat as you.

The only way I can get off is by me rubbing my own clit. Vibrators do nothing for me. While he does bring some stimulation to me when he's playing with my clit, I do not orgasm from it. I have to do it myself. And the best part is, he doesn't care if that's how it has to happen and he doesn't mind either. He wants me to have pleasure and he wants me to come and if that's how it has to happen, that's how it has to happen.
And besides, seeing me having fun and bringing myself to orgasm brings pleasure to him as well, which in a way, is a bit of a turn on knowing that I'm helping him get off too.

Elfy, like its been said on this thread and others.. its NOT abnormal and quite a common problem... IE YOU are **NOT**abnormal.

FYI.. if you (women too) are taking antidepressants and many blood pressure meds, they can absolutely prevent you from coming to orgasm.

I have a similar problem to this, in that I can't orgasm at all, apart from by using a vibrator.
I have also faked it with my new partner, and feel terrible about lying to him. I know how you feel when you said you dont want him to feel like its his fault.
I am getting seriously depressed about it, to the point of wanting to go back to self-harm. I know I should tell him, but I love him so much and I'm terrified of losing him cos I'm so abnormal.

[QUOTE=Quote (petunya @ April 01 2005,17:31)]Yes, I figured out how to get off with just my hand, yay!!  Took me like 25 minutes though, hehe.  Practice makes perfect![/QUOTE]
I haven't posted here because- quite frankly- I don't feel like I have much to offer on the topic of female orgasm (lol)... but, Petunya, this part of your last post made me smile.  It's so great to read something from someone who is pro-active and doesn't mind working toward making things better.  

Congratulations and best of luck toward future success!

Statistically, about one-quarter of all women never, or very rarely experience orgasm. Another quarter os us, I among them, never have orgasm as a result of penile thrusting. We require additional stimulation (oral, digital, vibrator) to have orgasms. Oral usually gets me off but my g/f often uses a vibrator when with men. We are both bi- and have limited sex with men at this point in our lives - maybe four or five times a year.

The more pressure you feel to "perform," the more difficult it will become. Talk through it and accommodate one another. It is not unusual that we achieve stronger orgasms doing it by ourselves. If we cannot adapt to what we want next, we are in trouble. Generally, my orgasms are strongest masturbating; then with women and lastly with men. That is only referring to the strength of the orgasm, not the satisfaction which can be great even with little flutters for orgams. I love being a woman because our orgasm come in so many shapes and sizes.

[QUOTE=Quote (petunya @ Mar. 29 2005,00:00)]

Thanks so much for the advice. He does tell me to touch myself sometimes, but it's also always been difficult for me to give myself orgasms with my hands alone. Directly touching my clit doesn't really work... it's a little too intense. I used to (before I discovered vibrators) get off best by pushing down on my "triangle" and rubbing in a downwards motion.

I will definitely take your advice and use it. I hope things work out.[/QUOTE]
I don't directly touch my clit either.
I rub the "layer" covering it which gives me stimulation and allows me to cum.
I know that direct clit stimulation can be very instense because that's what he does to me when he touches me and while sometimes it feels good, if he goes over to the right side of it, it's so intense that well, it hurts, and that's not something I constantly want to put myself through.

So really, just rub yourself any way you're comfortable with.

Just a little exercise I read about which helps increase your orgasms..

As often as you can, wherever you are, clench the muscles inside you, as if you were holding in your pee if you couldn't go to the toilet... if you do this as often as you can it really works up the muscles inside you which is said to really improve your orgasms, and for those who have never experienced one, this exercise could 'warm up' the muscles inside you allowing you to actually have one...

Im not completely sure if this actually works, but it's worth a try :P

Its true that most women don't orgasm thru penetration alone. There have been several threads on here about this and maybe your b/f should try reading those. Learn that its not all about him and that it doesn't make him a bad lover if you can't orgasm thru thrusting alone. I too need clitoral stimulation. I can have orgasms from just clitoral stimulation but add that w/ the penetration and I get over the top orgasms. My b/f doesn't seem to mind when I need a little extra help, be it from my hand or a toy. Actually my b/f loves to watch me play w/ myself. Maybe yours could too if he'd open up to the idea.
Tease makes some great points too.
My favorite positions are doggy or me lying w/ my butt at the edge of the bed and him standing beside the bed....they really need to make a name for this one....maybe they already have and I just don't know it, lol.
Anyways, its kinda like missionary but I have a better access to my clit and he can play w/ my tits at the same time. I like it much better than regular missionary.
I guess just keep trying and keep assuring him that you need a lil extra stimulation but it doesn't mean he's lacking. Yeah some guys can't take the news that a penis alone can't do the job.... but I think both parties should work at it to make eachother happy, no matter what

First off, don't get yourself down. Lots of women cannot orgasm from sex alone.
Now that I've finally had painless sex (yay for that. lol.) I can say that I am one of those women as well. I need more than just sex to get me off.

My tip? Have him rub your clit or, if that doesn't work, rub your clit yourself. That's what I did. Had an orgasm in no time flat that way.
There's nothing wrong with touching yourself while you're together.
You could also try being on top as some women say that gives them better clit stimulation. (But that didn't work for me either so it doesn't work for everyone.)

As for #2... all I can say is just tell him that it's not his fault. That not all women can orgasm from sex.

I know this topic has been beaten to death over and over again, but I still have a couple of questions. I'm one of those unfortunate women who have never had an orgasm. I'm not a rookie, I have been with my fair share of men, have had good sex, and have even thought I had orgasmed before. But when I got together with my current boyfriend, when he made me feel things that I had never felt before, I knew I must have been mistaken. I can't even make myself orgasm with my toys, using them by myself or with my boyfriend.

So my question is this... How do you know when you are climaxing? Everyone tells me that "you'll know", but I'm starting to get the feeling that I won't. I swear I have been there, if not there, then right on the very very edge, so many times, and then nothing. Or it's so intense, and it feels so good that I just can't go anymore, but I still don't think I've cum because I'm not any wetter. Which brings me to my second question... I know we don't (not usually, at least) ejaculate like men do, but don't women usually release more fluids with orgasm?

I feel like a complete idiot asking these questions, but hey, I need some answers. Just like the other frustrated women out there, my guy thinks he's the problem. I keep telling him it's not him, but he doesn't believe me.

Does anyone have any insight for me? All is appreciated. Thank you!!!!!