sexual assault
I am writing a research paper for my English class on the psychological affects of sexual assault on teenagers and young adults and methods of dealing with it.
I know there is already a rape survey on here, so I hope some of you will help me out and answer a few questions for me. It would be great if both men and women could answer too.
1. How old were you when you were assaulted?
2. Was this person a boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, neighbor, relative or stranger?
3. Did you require medical treatment?
4. Did you seek out any type counseling?
5. Was this incident reported to the police?
6. How often did you have to see your attacker afterwards?
7. Can you attribute any side affects to your attack?
8. Can you identify any one thing or a combination of things that best helped you deal with it emotionally?
9. Was there a significant amount of time before you were able to trust another person in an intimate way?
10. For those of you who had counseling, do you feel it helped? How?
I have until the end of April to complete this, so I may add more questions or post another thread if needed. My teacher has challenged me to get quality first person answers, so any help here would be greatly appreciated!
1. How old were you when you were assaulted?
Between the ages of 8-16
2. Was this person a boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, neighbor, relative or stranger?
Uncle
3. Did you require medical treatment?
No
4. Did you seek out any type counseling?
No (not until years later when I discovered that my own children were being sexually abused by their father)
5. Was this incident reported to the police?
No
6. How often did you have to see your attacker afterwards?
I see him fairly often,my mother and he are brother and sister,and she doesn't know of the abuse
7. Can you attribute any side affects to your attack?
Anxiety,Depression,Insomnia,Submissiveness,Low self esteem
8. Can you identify any one thing or a combination of things that best helped you deal with it emotionally?
Try not to see myself as being a victim,forgive him as he was only 13 when it started
9. Was there a significant amount of time before you were able to trust another person in an intimate way?
Yes as I never had sexual intercourse for the first time till I was 23 even though I'd had several boyfriends since the abuse ended.So 7 years after the abuse ended
10. For those of you who had counseling, do you feel it helped? How?
No I don't think it has helped all that much.I did bottle a lot of things up,and the sexual abuse of my children by my ex husband brought a lot of bad memories back for me.Discussing it did make me relive the abuse which i found very hard to do
Hi hc34c!
Great you've made this into an assignment! And since you ask for input :) I'd encourage you to start your report with a definition of sexual assault, a good encyclopedia comes in handy. Identifying the age-group of teenagers/young adults comes in handy too (particularly the latter)
I've noticed in your questionnaire -good questions, btw! :)- you don't ask the age of the person. This could be useful. I've been having a moment of wondering where your focus is. Are you looking for people who are in that age-group now? Or people who could be older, but were assaulted during that time of their lives? Could be both. Once you've added current age, you could even decide after you've received your answers.
Interesting question could perhaps be if apart from the police, if it was reported to anyone at all. And why. It could also be interesting to know whether there's a psychological discrepancy between how victims thought people would react if they'd tell them, and how they actually did. Just a few thoughts, making choices is up to you.
1. How old were you when you were assaulted?
9
2. Was this person a boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, neighbor, relative or stranger?
stranger
3. Did you require medical treatment?
no
4. Did you seek out any type counseling?
not at the time. I've mentioned it to a counselor last year, who I was seeing for other reasons.
5. Was this incident reported to the police?
no
6. How often did you have to see your attacker afterwards?
I never looked for him, never recognized him, but it's likely I've seen him after. I have a hard time recognizing people as it is. Plus he hit my head against the pavement, making my view very dizzy and blurry.
7. Can you attribute any side affects to your attack?
I repressed the fact it happened shortly after, causing emotional distress and a total lack of sexual desire throughout my teens. You could say I disconnected myself from my body and my sexual development flatlined until my early twenties. It could have contributed to some physical issues too, but that's hard to say.
8. Can you identify any one thing or a combination of things that best helped you deal with it emotionally?
Slowly, lovingly and patiently redefining sex by experiencing it has been key for me.
I'd like to elaborate on this. Perhaps it brings you useful insight, otherwise you could just ignore it:
For almost a decade I wasn't dealing with it emotionally. The first time it got me emotional was when I was 18 and a boy kissed me by surprise (well intended). It triggered the memory so violently I was drowning in it. I told my mother, who didn't believe me. So after having lived with it for 9 years repressing it, I went on living with it consciously and in shame for another 4 years. Just kept it locked in a little room of terror in my mind. Couldn't close that little door no more. That was the time in my life I figured I should find someone to have sex with soon. Because I considered my chances of getting raped high, chances of ever overcoming a first time like that nihil. I didn't find someone. But in retrospect I realize how vulnerable I was, how easy someone could have taken advantage of me and how it could have left me a wrack. How lucky I am all that didn't happen.
I had my entire life settled by the time I started dealing with this and I hadn't planned on dealing with it. I was 22, had finished university, had become a happy working young woman with my own home. What helped for me best was to meet this loving and caring man, who first became my friend and then he fell in love with me. I felt completely safe, trusted him with my life. Just one touch in which he pored all his feelings for me, melted me. It was the first time I felt connected to my body again. A little flame of desire was lit. Within a few weeks of dating I told him my terrible secret. He had been expecting something was wrong and was happy I told him. He told me he saw it as a beautiful task for him to make me love sex. Off course no-one can "make" someone. But treating me with that intention has been incredibly healing. I had to overcome quite some issues, some I'm still overcoming today. The great news is I've developed into a vibrantly sexual multi-orgasmic woman :)
9. Was there a significant amount of time before you were able to trust another person in an intimate way?
That would be 13 years.
10. For those of you who had counseling, do you feel it helped? How?
No, it didn't add much. Talking with anonymous people over the internet has been more effective to me than talking to a counselor. Particularly with those who have been through something comparable. Talking and writing about it has been helpful. Even now; every time I get to say it, it lifts a burden of my shoulders. Admittedly, my most dear friends still don't know. Even when we do talk about sex, it's these words pounding in the back of my head that don't make it to my lips. I only really talk about it with my ex-lover. Sometimes with a few internet-friends I've met here, who know just because I've typed it into the world wide web.
Btw, I'm 26 now :)
Thanks for the input RR.
I forgot that yes, I want people who were assaulted aged 22 and younger. My focus is to find out what are the best methods of mentally dealing with being assaulted. I was lucky enough to fight mine off, but still have to deal with the fact that he tried. I try to learn from it and still have faith that not all boys are like that. This is actually a point I am very interested in. I really want to know more than anything, how hard it has been to trust another man again.
I know that everyone has their own way of dealing with mental pain, so I expect to get a variety of answers.
As for who have they called, my mom has access to a study the hospital she works in did about reporting sex crimes. I read some of it and have decided to keep it just to the police for now. They found less than 30% told anyone within a year of it happening. Some told their family, some told the police, teachers, counselors, ministers, baby sitters, doctors...there are so many people you could report this to that I think it might be too much to discuss in this paper.
My teacher has taken an interest in helping me with some of it. He said three of us in class chose topics that are touchy or controversial. He thinks they are very important to bring up and he wants each of us to present our topic to the class next week. I hope I have some more answers by then!
@hc34c
You must also define if your term applies to child sexual abuse. There are lots of cases around involving children irrespective of their sex.
BTW this made news here today [url=http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-01-20/us-soldiers-committing-more-sex-cr... soldiers committing more sex crimes - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)