Go and speak with your GP first and see where that takes you; you can not take care of this yourself.

[QUOTE=tehn00b;215729]well as the topic suggests.. i am having some sort of sexual anxiety or anxiety in general...

I have recently diagnosed myself with having parauresis as well only an individual is able to diagnose themselves with this condition..

In a nutshell for those who dont know its a fear,phobia or anxiety of urinating in public toilets, or with someone outside waiting, or with someone else in the same room, etc etc etc.

[COLOR="Blue">This is the first I've heard of this condition. Are you asking for our help or input on this or are you just mentioning it as by way of getting to the main topic?[/COLOR]

Anyway all of the partners i have been with we do a bit of foreplay what not and i am rock solid... time comes to well 'whip' out the old rubber (and yes this is a quick put on as well it prob takes 3 seconds as its already in my hand ready to go) so 3 seconds passes, i am already between her legs and well as i lean down to insert it inside of her it basically goes limp as everyday (as though i had not been hard or anything at all) and well a bit of forcing/rubbing is required...

[COLOR="Blue">One path to the solution is in your last comment: "and...a bit of...rubbing is required...." One or more of us regularly suggest that the man's partner roll it on and continue to stimulate the penis in the process. This likely will take a lot longer than three seconds! Give it a try. There is nothing in the rule book that says partners cannot and should not put on a condom for their man. Doing so is all part of Foreplay and the fun and adds variety and spice.[/COLOR]

Now this is not always the case... i was with my ex gf getting it hard and it was staying hard for numerous goes.. like backing up 3 times no worries... but come the time when say i haven't released in a week or so and go to the big game with someone else it jus pretty much says no. Once i am in and going a bit it gets hard again and is fine until the end. usually.. if it falls out then same thing occurs as if i am trying to start.

[COLOR="Blue">I for one would appreciate a straight forward description without all the metaphors. What do you mean "like backing up 3 times no worries"?

That you are experiencing no response is generally a result of anxiety, specifically performance anxiety. This is tied directly to confidence and self esteem and may have an additional attachment to your phobia. More often than not the fix it to quite literally stop worrying. Sounds simple, yet this is what works.[/COLOR]

Would this be caused by a general anxiety problem or a sexual anxiety... i have never had any problems with my gfs over time only with someone new.. (new including people ive seen regularly over months, have done foreplay with but the end result juts wont happen)
[COLOR="Blue">
Take it slower and do not be in a rush to have intercourse. Get to know each other better in and out of bed. When it comes to making love, make love and spend a lot of time necking, petting, heavy petting, and ultimately foreplay. Please read the articles listed in the Index that discuss the matter of how to make out, there are more than one each covering different aspects of the process.[/COLOR]

what could be done about this as well as u are aware its quite frustrating and can be embarrassing.. is there pills i could take daily for anxiety relief/sexual anxiety relief..

Another point im not usually 'scared' so to speak of doing it.. i want to do it and im thinking about it and just want it but when it comes to it my penis just says no even though i am saying yes.[/QUOTE]

Asked and answered. There are no pills, potions, or products that will help. It's all about confidence and being comfortable with your partner and this takes time which is why I am recommending you devote a few weeks to just making out and upping the ante' a little every few sessions. Do not just jump her bones and rush to the finish line (that's my metaphor!); rather, just do some hugging, kissing, and caressing for a few sessions over a week or so, then move on from necking to petting for a few sessions, and so on. There are reasons for these stages that seems to have been lost on modern day lovers, male and female. There is an article in the Index that describes each stage if you do not know what these old terms are.

Please read through these various articles on the how-tos of making love and then if you have additional questions or concerns, please feel free to ask.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading not only the Index and the many helpful articles listed in it; also read the Board Notices section beginning with Posting Guidelines.

HINT: The fact that this issue goes away after you have known her for awhile says this is sexual anxiety/performance anxiety.

Foreplay is not just for her, guys.