I have checked, I don't believe anyone has posted anything on the topic.
I'm not sure if I have a sexual addiction. I don't know, maybe I do. However, I do realize that it is entirely possibly that whether or not a person has had sex or not, that like other addictions sex can be one.
I don't know if I have a sexual addiction. In the last few months or so (3 years when I add the daily usage of the vibrator) I've gone on only one website. There are a lot of people there and I guess one topic leads to sex. Ok. So does this I suppose.
I find that I can place out my sexual fantasies out there and in the open and because they are fantasies I can indulge.
Well, I've done this rather frequently and while this was just in a chatroom, I finally woke up today thinking about how sick I must be.
Just exactly is a sexual addiction, and is it possible that I could have one?? :(
This is something that I'm beginning to question and feel relatively bad about. I always thought that people who have already had sex can have these addictions...
Well I find this post interesting. I too am hooked on going to a web chat looking to get off with women. Using video chatting or just watch video of real women getting off. It turns me on so much to see women getting off....Is this an addiction..I don't know!!
Virtually anything become addictive. The functional or behavioural definition of an addiction is that your want or need for it interferes with normal relationships."
If you are feeling badly or guilty, that is a warning sign.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/other-sex-topics/28507-sex-addiction.html
Thanks for the link, I wonder why when I typed it in intially it didn't show up, but if this can be moved and continued onto the sticky, that would be greatly appreciated
The search function built into the site doesn't work very well. You can use google to search it by typing things like
+sex +addict site:sexinfo101.com
This will usually return more accurate results.
Ok, either way I definitely thought that I could continue the discussion. I guess what shocked me from this discovery was that in the sticky "sexual addiction" refers to those that can't or don't have the ability to say no to sex.
I'd like to think that my issue with sexual addiction meant that I was exempt from being grouped into this category.
For about two/three weeks I relied on chats to help me get going (basically, if I wanted to be accurate, the main sexual addiction I have is basically webchat sex. I don't do videos, it's like phone sex except you type out what you are doing, what you are feeling, etc...I don't know what it's called.)
I did this frequently. So there should be no problem right?
Well, this took place in the chat rooms later in which several accused the chat room of being pornographic.
While this did not address me directly, it did get me thinking...ok, so do I or don't I have a problem?
What Brandeye said about addictions is if it damages a relationship, it is. But my man has been away for quite awhile and I don't hear from him as often, whenever we can get in contact we do, but we just talk about general stuff. Sex or anything related has not crossed my mind because I'd rather talk to him physically about that stuff seeing that the time difference does not allow for us to have proper phone sex...that and we attempted it only once.
But getting back to the question, I do feel bad (according to my parental figures, they think I'm a big time whore for this...) I know I would never have sex with any random dude, but isn't what I'm doing, taking it to the chat essentially something that's kind of the same thing? You know, that I have to seek pleasure from other people? That sounds so wrong the way put it...
:(
You have made a subtle but real shift in the source of your "guilt" or whatever it is. You are citing old tapes playing in your head, "according to parental figures..." Are you feeling stress because of what you are doing, perhaps an addiction, or because of what you were taught, someone else's rules and not at all indicative of an addiction?
Parents, teachers, churches, girl guide leaders, and on and on, provide us with rules that may or may not be appropriate to our ages when being taught. Certainly inappropriate when you are more or less mature. How many inorgasmic women are out there as a result of , "Nice girls do not touch themselves down there?"
Evil's statement in the sticky regarding "can't or don't say no" refers directly to what we call satyriasis, in males, or nymphomania in women, more generally and accurately labeled by psychiatrists as hypersexuality. Evil is accurate for those who seem to need sex constantly and that would be a sex addiction as it interferes with normal relationships. Porn addiction, same. What I now read you as saying is you are suffering from good old fashioned christian guilt, whoever instilled the crap in your head.
It might be an addiction. But my mom has been aware that I do masturbate. Someone made a few comments about the chatroom becoming pornographic and then this is where my line is drawn. There is a fine line between embracing sexuality and pornography...but I think either way the christian guilt reared its ugly head. I haven't masturbated in 2 days now and I just feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about it.
I have not masturbated in the last two days, either. But then, it has been about once a week for most of the last forty years no matter what other sexual outlet was available. If you want to feel sick to your stomach about the website, that is up to you. As for masturbating, of course your mother is aware. Almost all men and most women do that. There is no rational reason for feeling guilty, or sick to your stomach, about that. Conjure a wild fantasy and go get your vibrator.
What's the nature of your relationship with "your man"?
funinthesun, right now he is away and will be away for like another month or so. I do have friends to talk to, but I also need the sexual outlet. Even if I wanted to reach him, we only talk whenever he is online, his cell gets bad reception where he is.
Come to think about it, it's not the first time I've done the im chat sex thing as compensation for phone sex. I just happen to have male people to satisfy that need. I don't do it every day, four-five days consecutively and it's anywhere from 2-3 times daily, depending how horny I get.
We're not sexually active..and nor do I wish to be in the moment. My sexual needs and wants really, really rely on fantasy more than anything I guess.
I guess I can also admit that I am bit unsatisfied with the relationship because we've rarely made time to really be with each other since we do put our studies first before lovin and fun but I'm at a point where I do want more out of the relationship w/o being a total nagging woman about it.
I guess I'm also worried about something else in the back of my mind, like when he does come back...is our intensity of passion that we do have for each other going to remain the same? It may, it may not, it's a chance I'll be taking, but I feel that my libido is in a bit of a limbo with this as well.
When he gets back, I'm hoping we can discuss what I am feeling right now so that we can focus on us more as an intimate couple and not just because we have the label of a "couple".
So maybe there's a bit more to the sexual addiction than for me just being ashamed of it b/c of baseless religious standings, but maybe perhaps, I'm also denying to myself that I'm just unsatisfied with our intimacy based part of our relationship.
I think I want more....damnit :)
You're talking to other people - okay - but it is about sex and you maybe flirting/doing pornographic/erotic chat - and you feel guilty about this.
STOP feeling guilty.
While there is a person at the end of that stream of electrons you're playing with over the internet, in a way, it isn't real. You could watch a video of other people and it amounts to the same thing 'taking sexual pleasure from others'. You could read some erotica and - same thing - taking sexual pleasure from others.
But what you're really doing is VENTING your sexual frustration in the absence of your preferred outlet,; venting so you don't go out and pounce upon the first cute male you find in real life.
Same thing with masturbation. No matter how lurid your mental erotica is during masturbation - it is just fantasy and an expression of your frustration. Many people like to keep up this illusion that women don't feel sexual desire or they don't need sexual release. Pure BS. But to keep the illusion going, women have to 'buy into' it so we are told 'Nice girls don't...'
You're a normal woman, with a normal woman's desires.
You're not addicted.
You have no need to feel guilty.
Stop feeling guilty.
Dear Goddess, I've heard a good saying once:
Having guilt is like carrying bricks.
Just try to wonder once in a while:
who are you carrying those bricks for?