This is a great topic for discussion!

My thoughts are-
* take the gosh darn cell phones away, period
- if this is impractical, do not allow the child to do any text messaging
* get a cell phone service that does not include messaging
* the first time the bill comes in for more than the standard monthly charge, make the child pay for it! In the meantime go to the top of the list....
* regardless of the content of the messages, if the number of daily t/ms's is more than, say, ten (10) have a talk with the child about waiting to use the telephone when they get home and then place a daily limit on its use of no more than 20 minutes total.

The only ways I am aware of that you can prevent sending photos is not to have a camera. So, no web-cameras, and no cell phone with a camera. Better, have a heart to heart discussion with the child up front when giving them a cell phone to use about using it responsibly. Sending dozens of texts a day to friends is not a good use of their time. Talk to your child(ren) about what often happens when they send provocative images out into the world and how once they press the "send" button, that picture is out there for the world to see.

Guys often think it is fun to share pictures with their friends; those friends think it is cool to forward them on to others, and before you know it the entire school has seen them. Reputations have been ruined and embarrassing comments and gossip ensue.

Just ask a girl or boy if they would hand another person a photograph? If they say "of course not!" then ask them why they would send such a picture by t/m or E-mail. The followup to this is that even handing a person a photograph is no guarantee it won't end up in cyberspace. Lots of families have scanners...............

I believe that the use of cell phones needs to come with restrictions and guidelines that are strictly enforced. The same goes for E-mailing.

[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;239870]

The only ways I am aware of that you can prevent sending photos is not to have a camera. So, no web-cameras, and no cell phone with a camera. [/QUOTE]

There is another way.. the cell provider can block everything from web access, to picture sending, to even txt messages. I do believe it can be done worldwide (I have a good friend who works in this field, )
When my son's first bill arrived I marched him down to the phone company and got them to block everything but 500txt per month, he was unable to send or receive pictures as well.
Problem solved...

All too many parents these days let their kids do as they wish. All this crap about the "kids of these days" is down to the parents
with letting their kids run wild ..

1. Oak, I hope you can get your boy to develop respect and courtesy.
If you want to get him to tow the line, you can start taking toys, games, and other things he values away. You have to find his "coinage" or things he values and remove them. Worst case, empty his room except for a mattress, and inform him that when he behaves, he will begin getting things back, including his furniture, computer, games, or whatever his "currency" is.

2. I_, a little fee for this is worthwhile compared to what I have seen on TV from parents who have received huge phone bills and pages and pages listing all calls/messages sent.

3. Tomorrow morning I'm going to call some cell phone companies and ask them what restrictions they have.

Even in college - the amount of people txting or playing with their phones in class is ridiculous these days varying in form from mindless nonsense to phone sex. At least in high school if you annoy your teacher you can ask someone else for a recommendation but in college most of us teaching people are almost guaranteed to be called by your prospective employers about your habits!!!!!!

Some wireless services allow you to see exactly what each message said if you log in to your account online. I believe you have to pay extra for this though.

Im a 16 yr old boy nd hve seen not only pictures but videos of girls my age strip tease on their beds til they are completly naked! This video waz origionaly sent to the girls boyfriend but true the wonders on bluetooth it waz sent to nearly 5 or 6 schools in my city so nearly 5 thousand or so has seen this video! I condem the people that send these private things on to people that are not involved! Its like readin someones emails or reading their letters! I relly hope that girls parents didnt find out!

Why does no one here seem to have a problem with electronicly spying on ones kids. Everyone has a right to privacy and that includes over electronic communications . If you want to protect your kids online, then you TALK to them. If you show your kids respect they will respect you.

dancing doc your oppinions are pretty bad.. There is no problem with sending more than 50 texts a day im 16 and i send at least 500 a day just to my gf. Its a great way to keep in touch. We never send each other naked pics or any of that stuff. But i have recieved like 3 pics this year in high school from girls.And i if i had a dick of a parent like you that sits on there ass all day on a sex info site thinking of the worse possible stuff there kids can do or worrying about other parents kids i wouldnt do shit for you whatsoever. And dont say im a troubled young boy im smart and i speak my mind and wont change my oppinions because of someone else.

you need to get out more too

[QUOTE=Mr. Saint;239919]Why does no one here seem to have a problem with electronicly spying on ones kids. Everyone has a right to privacy and that includes over electronic communications . If you want to protect your kids online, then you TALK to them. If you show your kids respect they will respect you.[/QUOTE]

You won't understand until you have kids of your own.

Kickingwingz if you were as smart as you claim to be you would realize quite a few things.

First off doc would be a responsible, albeit, strict parent. He is simply looking out for his child. By limiting his contact and freedom he forces his child to focus on his studies and thereby fousing on his life and becoming successful. He also develops respect because he is kept in check, and would know that if he was disrespectful he would lose his privileges.

Also before you go off on another of our respected board member please learn a few other things. First nobody has a bad opinion. An opinion is an opinion. Also learn some respect. Perhaps your parents need to limit your texting. Or take away your toys.

I text my friends an average of 1,000 times a day. Being 19, I do have a wide variety of friends. From 14 to 30, and some even in their 60's. That being said, I am very careful with what I do, as it seems like many of my underaged friends have huge crushes on me. I received a topless picture from a girl at one point, and I deleted it and broke off all contact because I knew full well the damage it could do.

I honestly believe that this sexting issue could easily be handled by teaching children self respect and responsibility. If two teenagers (of the same age) wish to engage in such acts, one party should be responsible enough to not break the trust of the person taking the picture. And the willing party should have enough self respect to send it to only those that they trust whole-heartedly.

I do enjoy the random surprise naughty text or picture from time to time. But only from girls who I am actually exclusively dating. I went through the whole random hookup phase and I can tell you that all the dirty pics videos and txts I have received have all been erased because most of the girls who sent them had no self respect and it was a tun of.

So I guess the whole point of my ramble is that parents should not have to spy, but simply teach their children morals and values that can help protect themselves from becoming the school "slut" or labeled as easy because of pictures.

> i send at least 500 a day just to my gf.

500 msgs. / 60 sec. ea.= 8:18. Even if each communication only requires thirty seconds, this is still too much time to devote each day.

> you need to get out more too

Ditto. And, therein lies my point.

i pay for my own phone bill cuz my parents cant!!!! so they cant take my things away. And i believe that porn under 18 is fine if it is viewed by people under 18

[QUOTE=kickinwingz11;240091]
. And i believe that porn under 18 is fine if it is viewed by people under 18[/QUOTE]

Well that theory is rather stupid..

A 16 year old boy looking at pics
of a 8 year old girl would be just FINE in your little world then?

I believe doc's first post is a bit over-reacting. A minimal amount of kids are doing it I believe and most who do it (I actually know of a girl in my school who did it) have some social problems or attention problems. Thats just my guess anyway I think parents if they really feel its an issue with their child should just have a one on one talk about the consequences of what can happen if their child does it and tell them how it can haunt them for the rest of there life (internet).

I, as an 18 year old with a boyfriend, don't see the problem with sending a naughty picture to a significant other. I also send around 200 texts daily. My parents do pay my phone bill but its a flat rate for unlimited texting and I am a responsible person. In a perfect world 'sexting' wouldn't be an issue but unfortunately thats not the case because kids are extremely irresponsible and getting into sexual acts much too early.

I don't think kids have respect for themselves anymore, and its a relatively new thing. I was raised to respect myself and I do. And actually, its been very rewarding to be respectful and responsible up until now. Being a college student, I'm home for the summer and my parents basically let me do what I want because I am reliable and trustworthy. Kids now are so caught up in 'rebelling' against their parents for immediate satisfaction when in the long(and short!) run, it puts a lot of pressure on their relationship with their family as well as other people.

Anyway, its inappropriate that 16 year old kids are sending naughty photos to each other, and the law makes sense to me, actually. I also agree that cell phones shouldn't be allowed in High and Middle school classes, but I see no reason why a student can't use it in the hallway between classes or at lunch or something. In my college classes, the professors prefer we don't use our phones in class, and if we need to, we just excuse ourselves and step outside the room to avoid disturbing the rest of the class.

> I also agree that cell phones shouldn't be allowed in High and Middle school classes, but I see no reason why a student can't use it in the hallway between classes or at lunch or something. In my college classes, the professors prefer we don't use our phones in class, and if we need to, we just excuse ourselves and step outside the room to avoid disturbing the rest of the class.

Need to? Up until about eight years ago people went to primary and secondary schools and then on to trade school or college and graduate school all without phones. From the dark ages forward, kids got along just fine without needing to send tons of messages, phone or written. As one who's been there done that, there is no "need". Stepping out--this makes the message more important than the class information, and after all isn't this why we choose to attend school?

Of all the messages a person sends in a day, I'm curious just how many are to the same person over and over. I know I'm old, but I rarely answer my telephone without first screening calls and then deciding if now is a good time to talk or not. As for all those messages I get on my cellphone, I may or may not read any of them. I don't have the attention span to read through dozens of idiotic drivel.

Seriously people, this is the responisbility of the parent(s), not the government's. Call up your carrier and get it all taken off the line, and your "problems" will be solved!

we all have rights to privacy, but when it comes to protecting our future generations and family to this harmful world of child pornography, we need to prevent and remove it before it gets any where dangerous.

Would you want a electronic system that would activate when keywords were spoken about, lets say each phone is registered to a person and the phone has the background of the speaker such as age, gender, ethnicity, etc. If they send a message or verbally communicate a certain "word" or "message" like KILL or GUNS or anything that should bring up concern, the electron filter will kick on and monitor the conversation.

I don't know if this is practical, but we do some crazy things when it comes to protecting the ones we love.

[QUOTE=oaktree;239857]This seems to be a real big issue as many kids are being arrested for child pornography. Could the America justice system going to far on this? This there a far better way in controlling the problem? What is your thought?[/QUOTE]

That's great thing and I agree with you. My thing is that Whatever sex education tends to be provided ends up being “reproductive education” concentrating more on the anatomy and physiology of procreational sex. While this is undoubtedly important, this can only be a primer. Most adolescents want to understand the nuances of recreational sex and the value base surrounding it. Is masturbation ok? Is pre-marital sex acceptable? Does one have to love a person to have sex? And so on. As I see it, procreational sex education can be provided at school by sensitive teachers or educators, but recreational sex education is best provided by parents or a trusted family member or specially trained counselor-educators. This way, teenagers can get all their sexual concerns addressed within the context of trusting relationships than through word-of-mouth or by skulking around pornographic web sites that create enormous complexes in young minds.
thanks for your article.
----------
FriendyAnil

All I'm going to say is everyones situation is different, and what may work for one family, may not work for another. If you know you can trust your kids, then let them text. If you are not positive that they will use their technology responsibly, then limit it or take it away.

As far as the law, I think that if the kid is around the same age as the child he has the picture of, then maybe just some hours of community service with nothing bad on their record would be more appropriate. A minor would probally not totally grasp the concept of right and wrong here.

On the subject of phones and sex, I just thought I'd share this.

http://gizmodo.com/5323832/passion-iphone-app-will-let-you-see-how-good-...

Someone made an app for the iphone that measures noise levels and motion. (lol at that being the criteria =p)

There is a lot of good advice on this thread and I hope people will try to evaluate what is relevant to them. At the end of the day, the laws of the land cannot make for a perfect society. Only the majority of people can act in a way which will give us a safe society.
I am just a bit worried that people who spend 4 or 5 hours a day mesmerized by a mobile sending text messages are missing out on something.
Think carefully.

serious not series ha and i know its a law but its just one i dont agree with

I totally agree with doc. It's stupid kids would choose to do this crap.

its stupid for people of all ages

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From your description it sounds like the two of you are communicating responsibly. As you can understand from my other comments, what galls me is when teens, mostly, find it necessary to t/m, primarily, telling all their friends what is going on what is happening, what thought(s) popped into their mind, whatever--racking up several dozen messages each day of mostly mindless chit-chat. Now if these recipients have nothing more to do during the day than anxiously await the next chime of their cellphone, then I ask myself are these the people who will be our leaders of tomorrow, especially as one person related about leaving a classroom to take a message out in the hall.

Welcome to our world-wide community. Enjoy.

hi im 18yrold girl and im together with a guy whos 19 and we both in the uk
and i love endlessly and i belive he does too. however he lives far away
so texting and msn are the only way we keep in contact we therefore have long
convosations about stuff that we wanna do with the other how much miss the other
i admit a lot of this is sexual but seen as we would be doing this in real anyway which would have possible real consequences ie pregancy
he has sent me a couple of pictures of himself naked though modesty covered and i would do the same for him cept techincal issues and we both have webcams so we can talk face to face
also i trust him more than anyone in the world
i admit a lot of this is sexual but seen as we would be doing this in real anyway which would have possible real consequences ie pregancy

Lol - if only they actually took them out in the hall and didn't just plop the thing on top of their books and start responding right in front of the Prof's face.

> It is good always to have self control when transfering nude stuf

It is also a good idea to have self control when giving out your E-mail address. You never know who will SPAM you send you endless junk that you do not want, and on and on and on.

I edited your last reply. This site is not a social network. Please do not ask people to contact you. For this there are over one hundred venues elsewhere.

Thank you.

[QUOTE=JDQuench;239899]Im a 16 yr old boy nd hve seen not only pictures but videos of girls my age strip tease on their beds til they are completly naked! This video waz origionaly sent to the girls boyfriend but true the wonders on bluetooth it waz sent to nearly 5 or 6 schools in my city so nearly 5 thousand or so has seen this video! I condem the people that send these private things on to people that are not involved! Its like readin someones emails or reading their letters! I relly hope that girls parents didnt find out![/QUOTE]
Yes, I fully agree with you. First of all you should not go infront of a Cam,if you suspect the clip will be made public. It is good always to have self control when transfering nude stuf just it say the guy is a freat fucker. Please guys you better be cairful.

From where are you? Write to me with a Picture 100% nude to [edited by Mod3]

Don't know too many kids that would appreciate having any stoppage of service on thier cells. So if you can purchase the cells for your children. You can have it set-up that you can see anything they photograph or text to your computer of your own cell. Yes it's an invasion of their privacy. But it's better that you control that environment, then having to deal with a worst issue. JMO of course!

I'm the mother of girls aged 13 and 11.
We're all nudists, and we have nudist friends who have our photo's, and we have theirs.
They are the sort of photo's that, seen by non-nudists, would possibly be seen as 'wrong' because they show naked pubertal and pre-pubertal girls.

What I'm trying to say is that I would far sooner have my daughter send a naked photo of herself to a boyfriend, than actually be naked with them.

Ok, I wouldn't want her to send a sexually provocative picture or video, but only because I would hate other people to see it, and know who she is.

[QUOTE=oaktree;239872]I don't know any cell phones w/o a camra. But then agian i don't keep you with technology too.
Sure you can talk to your kid(s) about the danger of web cams and cell phones but some may still do it under perpressure from friends. We all have been a kid at one point and sure know what it is like to be pressure to do drugs, drink, smoke ect,. Kids these days, from what i have observed, are out spoken, no respect for adults, smartasses, and think they are invesable. Even my 10 year old has a mouth on him calling me a "asshole" and his mother a "bitch". Yea, he got it good for that but he still disrepect his mother and I. It just not him, many of his friends are like that.

As far as sexting, well i think it is time for the school system teaching the youth on the dangers of of topic. Yesterday was on AIDS, today techology and who knows what it will be like 50 years from now. Probley the danger of robot sex. But i do agree with what you sugested dancingdoc2 on how to handle kids with cell phone. There should be one thing to add, get the cellphone companies to work on a system that will block nudity on cells.[/QUOTE]

TELL me about it. I hate to do it, but I am constantly on my brothers asses these days. My mother lets them run loose and wild and I have to take the place as the authoritarian and make them do push-ups or something strenuous to teach them a lesson. I love kids but I equally can't stand them at the same time. The lack of respect and courtesy they have is fucking ridiculous, I must say.

Everyone has had the "thing" to do in their generation. Sexting is what it is for this one. Sexting a guy gets him to back off of you when he's asking for sex because you're still giving him something without GIVING him something. People need to calm down and realize everyone was a teenager once.

I don't know anything about cell phones w/o a camera. But then again, I don't keep up with technology either.
Sure you can talk to your kid(s) about the danger of web cams and cell phones but some may still do it under peerpressure from friends. We all have been a kid at one point and sure know what it is like to be pressured to do drugs, drink, smoke ect,. Kids these days, from what I have observed, are out spoken, have no respect for adults, are smartasses, and think they are invinsible. Even my 10 year old has a mouth on him calling me an "asshole" and his mother a "bitch". Yea, he got it good for that but he still disrepects his mother and me. It's not just him, many of his friends are like that.

As far as sexting, well i think it is time for the school system to start teaching the youth on the dangers of the topic. Yesterday it was on AIDS, today, techology and who knows what it will be like 50 years from now. Probably the danger of robot sex. But I do agree with what you suggesteddancingdoc2 on how to handle kids with cell phones. There should be one thing to add, get the cell phone companies to work on a system that will block nudity on cells.

I just thought I'd edit your comment to show you need to go back to high school to relearn your English with the teens you are speaking badly about.

[QUOTE=ImaScreamer;247024]

I just thought I'd edit your comment to show you need to go back to high school to relearn your English with the teens you are speaking badly about.[/QUOTE]

Please don't be editing peoples posts to the way you want them to read...
I find it rather rude and real smartarsey..........

If you read any of it then you will probably notice that all she did was edit the broken english that the original posting was full of. She didnt change anything that the original post was saying. It did manage to highlight how little personal effort this poster was willing to put in, even so far as to require that the schools should solely be the ones to deal with the development and the actions of peoples children. If the poster wants to be a part of an in abscentia society then im sure they dont have an issue with the corrections made to the spelling in the post.

[QUOTE=SimplePleasure;247104]If you read any of it then you will probably notice that all she did was edit the broken english .[/QUOTE]

I beg to differ.. Refer to the 1st sentence....
could mean he knows of No cells without cam's
or he knows nothing about cells without cam's... 2 meanings
of the same sentence and she edited to the way she wanted...

Also some posters have English as their second language.. shall we all
edit their posts to read how we want them to read????

Beg all you like, the first sentence is trivial and if you consider both of your perceved meanings it still gets to the same place that there may or may not be cell phones that he may or may not have knowledge about.
And as for ESL posters, i dont see any other predomanant languages on this board. Being from canada i am used to encountering 2 offical languages in life, and i see nothing like that here. It is pertinent to point out that the actual post by this person still remains un edited and it was in fact just a quote that was altered.
And now we find ourselves at the real issue. You are having a bitch session that is totaly off topic and you decided to hijack the thread for this purpose. Most boards would actually do something to you about that, but here we are. Youre pumping your distaste for our associates posting which was a rather valid jab and on topic, and are not contributing anything to the actual topic.

[QUOTE=SimplePleasure;247186], i dont see any other predomanant languages on this board. Being from canada i am used to encountering 2 offical languages in life, and i see nothing like that here. [/QUOTE]

lol Too funny..... You have been here for almost a month? posted 5 times and have not noticed their are many countries represented here ??

[QUOTE=SimplePleasure;247186]
And now we find ourselves at the real issue. You are having a bitch session that is totaly off topic and you decided to hijack the thread for this purpose. Most boards would actually do something to you about that, but here we are. Youre pumping your distaste for our associates posting which was a rather valid jab and on topic, and are not contributing anything to the actual topic.[/QUOTE]

So you expect the mods to punish me for expressing my disgust
at this editing ???
Is this not a free world where we can express our opinions without being told you are having a "bitch session" or even having our words EDITED to suit????

[QUOTE=SimplePleasure;247186]and are not contributing anything to the actual topic.[/QUOTE]

Pot calling the kettle black????

Anyhow I am done here... I have expressed my opinion on the editing of other peoples post.. I shall leave you to argue by your-self

The suggestion that schools should be responsible for teaching children the dangers of technology is absurd. Do you have any idea how much schools are already expected to teach kids? Now you think that they should also be teaching our kids how to behave in a decent manner, and use technology appropriately? Seriously, do you really think you can fit in a "sexting is bad" class, into already overcrowded schedules and curriculum? What about the parents, why doesn't fall into the category of things that YOU should be teaching YOUR child. School is not there to raise your kid for you. If your kid is disrespectful to you or anybody else, it is up to YOU to discipline them and teach them how to behave. If you don't know what else to do with your bratty kid, seek the help of a professional or someone who knows how to properly deal with kids, but in the end it is YOUR responsibility. Quit trying to pawn off the things you are too lazy to do onto the school system.

Well my parents never check my messages and I never send out nudies, I only share them occasionally with a few close friends when we're bored. Women who send them to me don't care if others so the pics. So I see no problem with it.