Piercings

[Vian]

Not sure if this is the best section for this, but here goes.

Pretty much all my life its been rather difficult for me to orgasm. Its possible, but my body seems to be very particular about position, level of stimulation, etc. I have to be laying in just the right position, and while *I* can get off in about 10 minutes doing it myself, it takes my partner about 30 minutes of trial and error. That's not a bad thing at all, but it can be frustrating at times. Its happened more than once I just get too tired and give up.

I have been considering a vertical hood piercing and was wondering if this might help with stimulation and making it easier for me to climax.

The problem is, I don't know if I'm being over stimulated, or if my body is just so particular about it... If I'm being over stimulated already then a piercing will not help...

Any thoughts, experiences?

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful as well as how-to articles. I recommend reading those that discuss the female "O" from different perspectives, first.

Communication is the key to every successful relationship and this also includes the romantic aspects. When we masturbate we benefit from an internal feedback that makes it possible to deftly modulate and change what we do based upon what we feel. This is missing when we turn the reins over to our partner. So, how do we get him/her to do what is needed? Simple:

* Use verbal or non-verbal feedback to communicate how you are responding to your partner's caresses and for what you need now/next. Much as been written on feedback so do a site search.

* Next, because you know how to masturbate and bring yourself to the brink of a climax and beyond, help him learn your unique and specific technique. You can do this by taking his hand in yours and moving it over the course of a few sessions until he learns to mimic what you do. This and feedback should do the trick with practice.

Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Explore and learn together in partnership.

None of us are mind readers so unless we are given guidance then all we can hope for is a 50/50 batting average. With something so important who wants this as their degree of success?

I hope this is of help. Please read some or all of the articles in the Index and if you have questions or concerns about anything, please do not hesitate to ask. This is the "why" of this site.

Enjoy

Forget the piercings. IMHO, they are more bothersome than helpful. Use the tools above and do things right.

[Vian]

its really not so simple as him learning what works for me. The problem is more that *I* don't know what works for me. I can mastrubate to climax, but only in ONE specific way, and it takes a LOT of effort, to the point my arm and wrist hurt or I get too tired and give up. He has brought me to orgasm twice (we haven't been together all that long) without any help from me other than telling him not to stop when he finally hit it right. But all too often I don't even want to bother because I know it will take so long and its so much effort it doesn't even seem worth it to me.

[dancingdoc2]

My suggestion is to do what guys do--MASTURBATE. Do it often.

Boys are driven hormonally to masturbate, to reduce sexual tension and stress, and also do it for the pure pleasure of it. Boys masturbate much more frequently than do most girls. Some of us masturbate more than once a day! No matter, I believe that making the conscious effort to pleasure yourself will help cement the pathways between the nerves in the skin and the pleasure center of the brain along the autonomic nervous system. Simply put:
* Do it a lot, learn what works
* Remember what works and when
* Repeat

Doing this over and over will often make having a climax easier, although, for women there is more to it. I recommend reading the articles listed in the Index regarding the various aspects of the female "O". There is another article that discusses how to go about learning to masturbate.

* Try using a lubricant in addition to any natural lubricant you produce. The slippery the skin is, the less pressure and rubbing required. A positive side benefit is that stronger sensations are produced with less effort.

Do some reading, do some practicing. Come back with progress reports and we'll go from there if you need more assistance.

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by Vian

its really not so simple as him learning what works for me. The problem is more that *I* don't know what works for me. I can mastrubate to climax, but only in ONE specific way, and it takes a LOT of effort, to the point my arm and wrist hurt or I get too tired and give up. He has brought me to orgasm twice (we haven't been together all that long) without any help from me other than telling him not to stop when he finally hit it right. But all too often I don't even want to bother because I know it will take so long and its so much effort it doesn't even seem worth it to me.

Vian I was divorced, 26 and had 2 kids by the first time a man had given me an
orgasm during sex and before marriage I had plenty of guys try.

It is more of a mental thing then a physical thing. and I do believe a peircing will not help at all.I feel you have to train your brain and be very relaxed.
I am now reaching 42, and have multiple orgasms. I have had a clitoral
peircing for 3 years, which does enhance my senitivity but is not the reason for it

If you rid yourself of the negativity which I am seeing especially in your last sentence, read all the wonderful posts here, listen to what Doc and some other very good people say and learn to let go .. You will get there....

Don't Give up.. Practice makes perferct

[Waste93]

Personally I would wait on the piercing. One thing a piercing can do is actually make it more difficult or impossible to climax if it desensitives you. I would recommend experimenting with something less permanent for now. Different positions, toys, etc. But I think the most important thing is that often it's a psychological block. Trying to hard and worrying about it could also be causing the issue.

Just try some different things and try to relax and not worry about it so much. You may find that this solves the problem.