Hi,
I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend about a year ago. We're both 19 and have regularly been having sex since then. The only problem is sometimes is can be really painful. For example, if we haven't seen each other for a few days and then we meet up, the 1st and mostly 2nd time we have intercourse it's fine, but by the 3rd or 4th after that it becomes really painful, when he's putting it in and after that. Some of the time iut's just about bearable and goes away after a while and only hurts if it's too deep, but other times i just can't stand it, it's too painful. It's bled a couple of times, but this doesn't happen too often.
I just want to know if anyone has any advice on what i can do? we've tried lubricants, different positions etc and i'm already on the pill, which is what someone said would help, but doesnt.
It affects us both because it means we have to restrict ourselves and it puts me off sex a bit.
Thanks
Start with a trip to a gyn. We recommend that all women have a complete internal before becoming sexually active. I push mother's to get their daughters in about 16 yo.
I am assuming that you have not had a complete gyn and with pain after a year, it is past time. Describe your experiences to the doctor as specifically as possible. When and where and under what conditions does the pain occur? I know that telling someone these things is not comfortable but to get it fixed, the doctor needs to know. We hear things that would curl your hair. But usually after much questioning.
In july last year i had surgery to remove a tag since one of the labia was a lot longer. I didnt have a complete check but when i went for my follow up appointment last month i told my gynacologist about the problem and she just told me it was normal... and to try lube and different positions, all of which we'd already been doing and don't help.
Do you think i should go to my GP and be referred to a different one?
I cannot comment on another doctor's diagnosis but GPs (I am) are often more interested than specialists (consultants in the UK). Ask for a woman gyn. That guarantees nothing but at least she will have empathy.
A lot of discomfort can also derive from the skill level(s) of the participants.
You may also be anticipating the pain which only worsens the problem since the anticipation will often bring it on since you won't relax completely. Also many women forget to breath deeply and fully during sex which has a tensing effect upon the muscles. I also encourage you to increase your 'resting' time between couplings during which you cuddle, chat, and massage eachother.
i think that the anticipation part is probably true actually, because i'm always wary of it hurting the next time we do it. We do usually have loads of time to cuddle, talk, especially since he knows it hurts so we try to do other thuings instead of intercourse and leave lots of time in between. I'll try to breathe more to see if that helps, i've always felt relaxed, but maybe i'm not as relaxed as i should be.
Thanks for everyone's advice, i'm going to make an appointment with the gp to get a gyn appointment because it can't really go on like this