Alright, I'm a guy, and I know a lot - but sex is one of those things that I'm not an expert in. I know something breaks when a girl first has sex, but I couldn't explain it.
So here's my dilemma - my girlfriend has had sex in the past, a few times in the course of a few weeks, but said that physically, she is still technically a virgin (I'm guessing that means that whatever was supposed to break didn't). I know she had intercourse, and we are open about everything, so my question is when we have sex, how will I know if it is "real" for her, or if I've done what my job was? Sorry if this is all clumsy, as I don't really know how to explain it.
Also, if it is "physically" her first time, then I don't want to hurt her either, so what tips are there to make sure it is as enjoyable as possible?
Thanks for all your help :)
I am in love and this is the next step - I want it to be magic.
If she has had sex before, as in... someone has put their wang inside of her. Then she is not a virgin & that "thing" that breaks will be broken.
That "thing" is a bit of skin & once something is entered into the vagina (eg, a wang) it will break.
She is not a virgin in any way, shape or form if she has had a wang inside of her.
If she has had intercourse as she said she did--she is NOT a virgin. The hymen, the piece of tissue covering the vag. opening may not be fully gone. It should be gone, if not a quick trip to the GYN will fix it. This is the only explanation I can imagine for what you described.
Plus not all girls will still have a hymen even when they are truely virgins due to tampon use, sports, etc.
Alright, well she said she hasn't felt something inside of her that is supposed to be broken. Again, I don't know what it is because I'm a guy - does this make any sense??
I just want it to be as pleasurable as possible and not hurt her.
Try here
and here
Look for some images of hymens to see what it is. Just b/c you are a guy doesn't mean you can educate yourself about woman.
Apparently she doesn't know either.. so maybe she should look around too. It's not something inside her that "breaks", the hymen is just a little piece of skin at the entrance of the vagina.
Like Sirene said.. if she's had a wang inside her, she's not a virgin.
You are saying you are a guy and therefore should not know about the hymen. You should learn all available aboth female anatomy if you ever want to be adequate sexually. Ignorance of my body is not acceptable in either my male or female partners. Dates end early over not knowing what you are doing.
I was not suggesting that I shouldn't know - I took the step to come here and find out so I know what I'm doing and for the benefit of her mostly. If anything, I'm doing the right thing by taking the first steps to know exactly what is going on. Usually people on the forum seem so helpful, why the problematic attitude? Sorry if I sounded like I didn't want to know, it's just that I've never needed to until now. And now that the time has come, I want to know everything.
Good for you ragingbull1 I think its great you are willing to learn for the sake of your sweety!
If she has had sex before and her hymen didnt break i very doubt she has one or it will break for you.
I never had one personally.
Bull...
Why do you not just ask her what she is talking about? Meaning what does she mean she is "technically a virgin"? And how would she draw this conclusion? That might help you better pinpoint what she is talking about.
If she saw her Gyn & they told her part of the hymen was intact & she had already had sex, the doc usually fixes it quick. The majority of women are not intact even though they have not had sex for the reasons demon suggested. Again her Gyn would have told her yes or no...so just ask her, that might clarify what she is talking about.
[QUOTE=sera300;171318]Bull...
If she saw her Gyn & they told her part of the hymen was intact & she had already had sex, the doc usually fixes it quick. The majority of women are not intact even though they have not had sex for the reasons demon suggested. Again her Gyn would have told her yes or no...so just ask her, that might clarify what she is talking about.[/QUOTE]
The majority? Really?
From what I have seen 14-15 y/o females are not intact and have not had intercourse.
Alright, well it is a very sensitive issue, and she was letting me know what she felt. I'm pretty sure she knows her own body better than you do.
I'm trying to do what's right, and I came here for advice and support - bashing my questions and ideas and my girlfriend is not the way to go about things.
We weren't bashing, only trying to figure out what she was talking about.
I mean if she has had intercourse w/ a guy... she is not a virgin. Some girls can have sex a few times and their hymen doesn't wear away completely but doesn't change the fact.
Its just trying to understand what are the circumstances behind what/why she is saying that there is something up inside her that should "break" but hasn't yet?!?
Sorry if it seemed that way.
well I get the drift that she has had sex but was not satisfied/feels bad about it/ feels guilty for being easy in the past.... and wants to consider her first time with you as her first time I must say her statement is very contradictory leading me to this conclusion else someone has told her something very unusual or she has not understood what told there now I sound more mixed up than both of you put together ... got my drift ?
No one is bashing you and your girlfriend...we are trying to figure out an answer to your question. The questions being asked of you are pretty logical and not intended as an insult.
I would say that you should talk to her. She may have had a bad experience when she was younger; a lot of women are raped or molested and that is their first sexual experience. Many women still consider themselves a virgin after something like that. She may also have tried to have sex at one point with someone else, but it hurt too much to continue, and some women consider themselves a virgin in this case.
Physically speaking, in these terms, as there has been vaginal entry, they would not still be virgins. However, the term "Virgin" does mean different things to different people. Some lesbians never have sex with a man, but certainly don't consider themselves virgins and some people have oral/anal sex, but still consider themselves virgins. I would just ask her what she means by that.
As far as something breaking inside of her, there is not always a hymen to break. I broke my hymen running into a wall on my bike when I was younger. Any woman who uses tampons will also have already broken her hymen. Also, for some people, it is extremely uncomfortable when it does break, yet for others, they barely notice.
Hopefully you have been able to get your questions answered and good luck to you!