Church records back hundreds of years show that one-third of all marriages result in a baptism less than nine months later. Sounds like our ancestors commonly engaged in pre-marital sex. Today, the age of women at first marriage is increasing and age of first intercourse is pretty steady. This is true for all income. educational and religious groups in industrialized nations. Those groups of "sex-free" pledgees are no different.

Having said all that, the decision is very individual. Each one of us makes the conscious decision whether or not to have sex.

I have never been married. I have been sexually active, with men and women, for more than half my life. When young, there was such pressure to "save my virginity" that I decided to get rid of it and reduce a great burden. Turned out that sex was not so great, so I stopped for a while.

These are sociological indicators that most women have sex before marriage.

But if you think about it this way, You're getting married to someone who (It is assumed) has also never had sex before. Thus, neither of you will be incredibly good at it.
But more than that, you run the risk of getting married to someone who can't please you sexually, (Not neccisarily true, but it's a risk) and then, it's (supposed to be) till death do you part.

Yeah, you can teach each other, but odds are, it might just get stale...

(Then again,I've been having sex for a while, and I've never said I was gonna wait for marriage)

[QUOTE=AptPupil]Im really curious to know what other people think about it. Should two people wait for marriage before having sex? If so why not? And if you dont feel its nesessary id like to hear your views. Im looking for individual views and opinions.

Thanx.[/QUOTE]

I was raised in a "wait till your married" environment. I believe it totally screwed me up because I spent too many years trying to avoid intimacy that would lead me to do something that I shouldn't.

Teens, in general, don't have a clue about sex and they would be better off waiting until they're at least 18 or so. But to perpetually refrain from sex is - in my mind - unnatural for most people.

I did not have sex until I was 27 - that's not a typo.

I do not recommend waiting that long.

It all depends on how important following what your God has to say about it--if you believe marriage to be an act of matrimony under God and his rule...then pre-marital sex is a no-no. Will you go to hell for it? Of course not.

But if you are merely spiritual, and do not fancy organized religion, then pre-marital sex is perfectly acceptable. There are far too many extraordinary things I've experienced in my youth before marriage. It makes me who I am, and has given me the chance to become an accomplished lover.

Let's face it, who wants to be stuck all their marraige with a lover that doesn't do it for you? What if they have no desire to learn, or live a passionate exsistence? Plain and simple--what if the sex is bad. In this case ignorance isn't bliss. Just because you've chosen the divine route should you be burdened with a sub-par lover all your life? Now, with that said, even if the sex is mindblowing...there are so many different loving styles, vibes, connections, and experiences to be had BEFORE you commit to just one person. There is SO much to be learned from multiple sexual partners--not just about physical pleasure, but learning about yourself on a spiritual level too.

Practice makes perfect.

ignore this...double post, not double post confusion.

if you love each other then go for it

I think you need to wait till you know sex is what you want to do before actually having sex. if that time happens to be marriage for you, that's great. that time definitely wasn't marriage for me. and while i'd like to believe my current relationship would be just as good without sex, i have to say sex is an activity i participate in with the girl i love without regret (i only kind of regret my first sexual encounter, and maybe that partner in general, but since her i have absolutely no sexual regrets that involve actually having done it...and i mean i may regret not having done some things now).

along that line, it's an issue of the freedom to choose what you want to do. but education in such matters is crucial. and that's where our Amreican educational system falls far short. All they can tell kids is "don't do it". and kids just aren't going to listen to that. especially when their hormones are screaming to them "DO IT!" So why not give them information on how to do it safely? it's the damn reason kids think the pull out method is an effective way to avoid pregnancy, etc. it's sad.

i think sex before marriage is fine but still not to be though of lightly. I would only have sex with someone I am truly in love with. as far as I remember in cathechism (I am in italy) sex before marriage is only permited if the couple are deffinitely getting married. so basically all this no sex till you marry thing is not so much about the moral issue but the hell you might bring children into. so i'd say that a good guideline is if you wouldn't mind spending the resst of your life with a person then fine. this also increases the age of first sex that I think is often too young. as such a mature feeling only comes with the right age to also have sex at without having as much worry on your hands if you were younger and also makes it more pleasurable.

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and not yet had sex. we are getting married, but not until we've graduated university, adn had a year or so of work under our belts (basically in about 6 or 7 years, when we're around 25). We;re both virgins, adn anything we have done together has been our first time. After two years, were both looking forward to havign sex together, and there is NO WAY that we plan on waiting another 7 years. We're stille ach other's first, adn we're still in love...we just want our family to respect us and hopefully have some faith in us as a couple before we get married.
Basically, sex before marriage is okay to me, but I know where we've been.

[QUOTE=Newtolove]i think sex before marriage is fine but still not to be though of lightly. I would only have sex with someone I am truly in love with. as far as I remember in cathechism (I am in italy) sex before marriage is only permited if the couple are deffinitely getting married. so basically all this no sex till you marry thing is not so much about the moral issue but the hell you might bring children into. so i'd say that a good guideline is if you wouldn't mind spending the resst of your life with a person then fine. this also increases the age of first sex that I think is often too young. as such a mature feeling only comes with the right age to also have sex at without having as much worry on your hands if you were younger and also makes it more pleasurable.[/QUOTE]

and your right about that.

i think sex before marriage is ok, BUT, i do not agree with kids my age having sex. (and i was talking about it, i know, but i feel different now. :cool: )

i only think it is ok for those who properly protect themselves (condoms, pills, like that) and are aware of the circumstances. and that only applies to those who go into night clubs and things, looking for a chick/guy they can do later that night after a bottle of bacardi or some other alchoholic drink.

as for teens, i think it is ok IF they love each other, and if the guy (i know it sounds a little "woohoo" but) wouldnt run away from the girl if something did go wrong and the girl was pregnant, then i think it is ok.

but i still dont think 13 and 14 year olds should experience sex, unless they are extremely mature for their age.

take my friend (lets call him joe). he's skipped a grade and has many chick friends. in addition, he acts more mature than the teachers.

if a person that is 13-14 wants to have sex with their partner, and they have a maturity level such as my friend, then i think less of it than if they werent as mature.

I was raised in a "wait until you're married" environment too.
It didn't screw me up, I believe it actually helped me out because I had a lot more respect for myself and I saved everything for the one person that matters.

My sister is a saint and she was able to do it. When I dated my first serious boyfriend he left me because I wouldn't "put out" and I'm soooooo glad.
Then I met Michael and we fell head over heels in love with each other. I knew when he told me he'd wait for me that this was so much better than any other guy I'd dated.
We've done almost everything BUT intercourse because I was against it. I stayed over at his place and eventually we moved in together which is something I NEVER wanted to do before marriage and I honestly didn't think my parents would approve, but they did. They totally trust me, and living together has helped us both decide that this is the right choice. The last thing we would've wanted is to move in together after our wedding and find out it didn't work.
As for the sex now, mine was based on religion and in the last year, I've lost most of it. Now what we're waiting for is the perfect time, but if it's on our honeymoon, that'll be wonderful too.

But I never regret any of it, because knowing that he's my first and will be my last is the best thing about waiting, or thinking I was going to wait until marriage.

encore!

i wish they had one of those little cute clap emotes.

im glad! :D congratz

wait...your not married yet, are you getting married soon?

Me?

Well, we'll be married either spring of next year, or 2008 when I finish my degree. Originally that's what we'd planned. :)

He's still holding out for marriage before we have sex, so that I won't regret anything, and he's pretty inexperienced himself. He actually liked the idea of waiting when I told him I believed in chastity and has been very supportive of it.
Ahh I love him :)

Reminds me of me...only I'm not waiting til i get my degree in four years...plus another degree, so eight years...goood.