I am not sure what kind of replies to expect.
I cannot orgasm with my BF. We have been together for almost two years. Until about a month ago, I was faking with him. Then I decided to tell him the truth. I understand that no one gives you an orgasm, and you are responsible for making them happen yourself. I just do not know how to make it happen, and nothing I try works. My BF was actually quite understanding when I spilled my guts to him about faking, and I have not faked since. But he thought it would be easy to get me to have a real orgasm, and it has been anything but easy, and things are starting to go way downhill. We are both so frustrated. He is frustrated that he just can't get me there. I have been frustrated since the very beginning, just more silent about it. I feel like giving up. I don't even have the desire to start sex with him anymore, knowing how frustrating the end result will be for both of us. I have started making excuses so that we don't have to have sex because it is causing me too much anxiety to have sex with him and not ever orgasm. We spend tons of time on foreplay (usually 45mins-1hr) and I get really close, but just can't get myself there. His frustration is very evident to me and the whole thing comes crashing down at that point for me. Sometimes I feel that it is hopeless. It is not his fault, but I am starting to become resentful of the fact that his orgasm is so easy and he gets to experience that every single time...sometimes multiple times, while I get teased and end up frustrated, having to take care of myself. BTW - I can bring myself to orgasm thru masturbation, but I have never masturbated using my fingers, only toys or other objects. The touch of my own fingers really does nothing for me, it just feels wierd. So touching myself during sex with him doesn't help me to get closer, only farther from the target.
I am ready to give up. Our sex life is turning into a disaster. Sometimes I wish I had never stopped faking, because at least then he was enjoying it too. I feel like I have ruined the pleasure for both of us and have done something very selfish by telling the truth. I don't know what to do.
Please read the information in this link:
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
I agree with Sera, however, there is more to the story as you will discover, above.
If you are anxious and upset over it, you will never orgasm. The toys you have tried on yourself, bring them w/you, show him what works, then have him try (repeat the same). Don't give up, just relax.
I have never made my girlfriend orgasm from just sex. I usually have to rub her clitoris while having sex. From what I read in a book, you can slowly teach your body to associate the penis with an orgasm, so eventually you won't need to stimulate with your finger. I think it's working, we havn't got there yet, but she's getting closer. So while having sex, maybe stimulate yourself with one of your toys, and slowly use less of it. Good Luck.
are you using a vibrator ? that could cause you to respond only to the intense sensations of the vibrator and nothing else, you would need to gradually get used to not using it but you/his hands