HI,
I am a 19 year old girl, average weight,shape etc
I need some advice.Ill try to explain problem first.
I have a very high sex drive. Or at least, higher than my long term boyfriend who is older than me. Although his sex drive has increased lately to every third day or sometimes every other day, I am still horny all the time. i am extremely attracted to him and his body.
Personaly, he likes sex a lot, but does not want it all the time. I am becoming an annoyance to him. I sometimes come on to him when i should not. Also, I think the fact that i want sex once a day is causing me to have problems focusing on other ,much more important things.
Furthermoe, when he tells me that all I care about is sex (or bdsm which we are into)I find it somewhat degrading and i get really turned off and feel disgusted in myself and my body.
I have tried to seek advice other places but the only suggestion i have got is to go off and masturbate by myself. This is all fine and dandy, except for the fact that i cant get off by myself. I used to, but the last six months it has been almost impossible for me to cum using my fingers or one of my toys. I dont enjoy my body by itself, I dont turn myself on, and the few times i do cum, its not satisfying at all, and just makes me want him more.
So, my question to anyone and everyone here is " do you know of any foods or unprescribed drugs ( cant afford doctor- not insured) that will curb my sexual appetite?
( i have tried going to gym and exhausting myself doing cardio or weights, but that combined with my physically exhausting job, does not, believe it or not, usually curb my appetite for sex. And the few times it does, it makes me depressed or very sad because of the intense strain the activity puts on my body and mind.
any serious suggestions will be highly appreciated.
thanks
cat
ps. no use trying ot make him change. he is normal, im not.
Well, do not say you are not normal. These things run in cycles and you anticipated my response of physical exercise. There is nothing unharmful of which I am aware that would reduce your sex drive. Generally, I would observe that a situation such as you describe is psychological and not physical.
There are good reasons to expect that he would "help you out" regardless of his drive. I have never been into BDSM but it would appear to me that his lack of need for ejaculation would make him a powerful partner. Do be careful of yourself because much BDSM is on the edge of self-abnegation and your description sounds a bit like you are accepting all the blame for a two sided situation.
there is no normal when it comes to sex. My gf and I (both over 45) do it all the time and if we could would do it all day long. we both have high libidos and were lucky enough to find each other.
Cat112,
Normal??? - From my point of view he is the one who is not normal! I don't know many 19 y/o males who wouldn't have sex every day with their willing partners. I'm 40 and I would if my wife was willing. You are both normal just have mismatched sex drives. You should both be willing to sacrifice a little - you by backing off on the pressure for him to have sex and he should be able to help out and masturbate you even when he does not feel like having sex. There are no drugs or food to help you here. In the end, if you can't come to a mutually acceptable understanding, the problem will only get worse as he gets older. Please understand that you are young and obviously very smart and attractive so don't tie yourself down to somebody at 19 that is not working for you. The physical aspect of a relationship is not everything but is certainly an important factor to happiness.
So, you say you need it all the time? I am intersested in what triggers you off? I mean and am not being rude in no stretch of the imagination but need to know. You are in to BDSM, together this is good. You have the same interests. Masturbate often as suggested. You are normal because you reming me of me. He is normal also, to each his or her own. I just would love to hear about the trigger factor. feel free to message me anytime and we can delve into why we are so dang sexual.
hey... i responded via private message..check it if you haven't already
[QUOTE=cat112] ...Also, I think the fact that i want sex once a day is causing me to have problems focusing on other ,much more important things.
Furthermoe, when he tells me that all I care about is sex (or bdsm which we are into)I find it somewhat degrading and i get really turned off and feel disgusted in myself and my body.[/QUOTE]
Maybe I'm not understanding... but there seems to be a contradiction in those few sentences... on the one hand, you are saying that your preoccupation with sex is causing you problems... but when your bf says all you care about is sex you get turned off and disgusted?
I'd suggest you do a little research on sexual addiction... not suggesting that is the problem, but it does sound like you yourself feel you are a bit obsessed with sex. One additional question I'd suggest you ask yourself is what is it about the sex that you truly want? An orgasm is too obvious an answer. LOL Seriously, it might be worth getting past the sex and trying to figure out what the need truly is. Contrary to what we'd sometimes like to think, we (both men and women) can survive quite well for a while without having orgasms, at least in the physical sense.
More sex may not be the answer for you.
I'm for masturbating, also. Guys do it in between romantic sessions with their lover, so why shouldn't you? I recommend getting back in touch with your body and learning what it takes to bring about your orgasms. Leave the toys and especially a vibrator out of this. This is between the pleasure center in your brain, the nerves in your genitalia--and your fingers. Practice, practice, practice until you can climax regularly and consistently.
You need to do this so that you can enjoy your orgasms with him.
The second recommendation is to suggest to your husband that he satisfy you needs without trying to become aroused and you trying to please him when he is either tired, not in the mood, or his drive is at a low ebb. Most men and women can and are willing to have one-way sex some of the times, especially if they do not have to try and achieve a climax if it is not in the cards for them. Pleasing our partner does not take much effort, just some time.