Ok, I have been hanging out with this guy for about 5 monthes...we hang out every weekend...well our weekend...Sat night, Sundays, and Monday days...he lives about 40 mins from me...we both work and I go to school so it kinda works out perfect that we both have the same free days...We have been sleeping together since the first time we hung out outside of my marriage...He used to date one of the ppl that me and my ex knew soooo I have known him for a couple of years...anyways...its not all about sex (but the sex is amazing) we watch movies, go to the movies, go out to eat, cook together....he has been around my kids a couple of times...he was really great with them...Point: 5 monthes and nothing was brought up to what we are doing...so I asked...are you just FB and always will be (all through text) and he said he doesnt know....i said cool me either...that was the end of that convo. I know i like him...may be falling for him...so a week later I texted him..."uhmm...i kinda like you and if you want to date that would be cool if not im cool with the way things are if you are" and he replies "I dont know I hate dating ppl that dont live where i do it sucks"....I say "ok...just wondering....Well if you start talking to someone else just give me a heads up"....he says "its not like I dont like you like that, its just i dont know" and "ok I wont be talking to anyone else I dont hit on anyone"
So my question is ....is this just a sex thing....or does it have the potential for a relationship...what do i do ...I put the dating thing out there...will things be weird...will he feel pressured....ugh Im soooooo confused
and if we dont date....I still want to have sex....is that an option
It looks to me that the relationship is not going to get any further than what it is now .If I was him i would have thought you were already in the relationship together.If you want more like days out and flowers ect I would move on.
I havent dated in like 5 yrs...this is new and weird...at first I had made it clear that i wasnt ready for a relationship. Now I feel differently. My ex says that the guy I am seeing is talking to other ppl... it really made me wonder if i am ok with that...I havent went out with anyone...so I guess my bringing it up...whether it seems like we are in a relationship or not...was to define boundaries...to let him know Im ready for the next step and see where he is in this whole thing.....I am just afraid that because it started the way it did (which was the same with my ex) that it might not work....what does I like you but I dont know mean????
You are asking the right questions yet giving alternatives that you should not. You want him to answer the question not choose between two options.
As for dating someone who is closer than 40 minutes away, that is pure nonsense for two reasons. In many cities including Sacramento were I live, it can take 40 minutes to cross town. Big deal. He is giving you a snow job even if it is true.
As for dating someone who is as far away as you two are from each other, why is he having sex with you if you are that inconvenient? What is so different about meeting for sex and meeting for a date? Your guy is not interested in "buying the cow when he can get the milk for free". Did you ever hear that ol' saying?
It is recommended by many relationship experts that a mother should not date while her children are still minors. You should be concentrating on giving them your full time and attention. This does not mean you cannot and should not have friends, just that dating while the children are young sets up conditions of many "uncles" coming and going should you date more than one person; and, that if the new marriage fails, then they will be traumatized yet again, so say the statistics.
wow...a little harsh...I have been single for 8mths...not forever but I have emotional and physical needs too...just because I am a mother doesnt mean I should stay single forever....the guy has been around my kids two times ...not overnight...to get ice cream once and to go to the park the other time...I do not take time from my children to see him I see him when my kids are with their dad...also...the he was around my kids weekly for over 2 yrs prior to my divorce...as I said he dated a girl that me and my ex hung out with regularly...as for why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...we chose to begin the way we did because both of us were just coming out of relationships...mine was a terrible marriage...and his a long distance thing...she lived 45 mins away and only made time for him when it was convienant for her....so we were both burned pretty bad.....in those circumstances do you have a different opionion....I agree that I should not have given a choice in the matter of dating or not....maybe I will reevaluate my approach...