it's another year, yet i still have the same problem. i am now certain it is physically impossible for me to have sex. it hurts wayyyyy too much. i'm a virgin, but have attempted to have sex quite a few times.. it just doesn't work out. i get so tensed up and there is little i can do about it. the other week, i got a pap smear and CRIED. yes. cried. is this normal? i know what you guys are going to say: relax, stretch it out, etc. etc. but i can't relax, and sticking candles up my vagina isn't really something i want to do.
i'm thinking about becoming a nun.
help? :confused::(
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]First, don’t become a nun. Second, go find your self a couple of gynecologist to get a couple of different opinions. Brandye will probably be here soon with some more information. [/SIZE][/FONT]
Do you and your boyfriend often spend time fingering you? I did this with my girlfriend for 4 months before we had sex (we were both virgins), and when we finally did have sex, it did not hurt her at all. You don't need candles! Just try working your way up from 1 finger to 2, and maybe even 3. Also make sure you are very turned on before you do anything.
Call your gyn and ask for evaluation for vaginismus. In fact, if the gyn did the procedure that made you cry, call a different one.
Somewhat under two percent of all woman have involuntary contractions of their pelvic muscles that prevent vaginal penetration. Most are treatable and do overcome the problem. Each time you try and fail makes it more likely that you will have difficulty the next time. There are gyn's and sex therapists who can help. Working through your gyn, find one. If you do a search on vaginismus, you will find good descriptions of the problem and can compare your experience. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER buying the self-help books, programs, etc, that are pushed for self-cures. Your statement of how long and how serious this is means you are not likely to be able to this without help.
Most gyn's (and family practicioners, GP's, etc) have some experience with this. Some tend to ignore it. Find domeone who can help or refer you to an appropriately trained therapist who can help.
OMG.
vaginismus makes complete and total sense!
too bad i don't have health insurance anymore, i just recently graduated highschool so it ran out. before it ran out, my mom took me to the family doctor (who is a whack job) and he preformed the pap smear. he had to completely skip the second step (inserting fingers) because i was in tears. the nurse called the other day and said the test results came in and everything was great. she also said that i have to get a pap smear every year from here on out. the thought of it makes me shudder >.< anyways, i've never been to an actual gyn. and without health insurance i don't think i can go?
Honey,
If you want a normal sex life, this has got to be addressed. Perhaps a local women's health clinic can help. Too many doctor's meet your description of your family doctor who may never even consider vaginismus.
You likely have difficulty using tampons as well. The next best suggestion is to avoid sexual situations until you do have access to the proper treatmen. Continued failure will leave you essentially asexual. Proper treatment will lead to a normal and healthy life. We like to think that all wome will have had a gyn exam when they are sixteen or before becoming sexually active. You need a proper gyn exam now.
Idon'tgivea:
Try your local county health department. Go on-line and find the site or planned parenthood.org assuming you are in the US. A full Gyn exam is needed.
okay. thank you guys so much for all of your help.
i will deff. try seeing a gyn as soon as possible.
[QUOTE=idontgiveabeeep;217002]it's another year, yet i still have the same problem. i am now certain it is physically impossible for me to have sex. it hurts wayyyyy too much. i'm a virgin, but have attempted to have sex quite a few times.. it just doesn't work out. i get so tensed up and there is little i can do about it. the other week, i got a pap smear and CRIED. yes. cried. is this normal? i know what you guys are going to say: relax, stretch it out, etc. etc. but i can't relax, and sticking candles up my vagina isn't really something i want to do.
i'm thinking about becoming a nun.
help? :confused::([/QUOTE]
the same thing happened with me and my boyfriend, but we went to a pharmacy store and got K.Y jelly. the problem was, i never got wet, but as soon as i rubbed it down there and on the tip of the penis it slid right in and stretched the layer of skin i had and now it feels great. make sure he does the right process, first kiss the neck and go down on eachother, oral is best first then get into the moment when its right.
www.plannedparenthood.com Check out their site, find one near you and make an appointment. Even if you don't have health insurance, they can help you out.