does "getting sexual" include you getting your knob polished? because I've experienced with my girlfriend that when she gives me head and her mouth is kinda loose around my dick it feels amazing, but when she tightens her mouth around it more I feel like my brain is going to explode because it feels soooo much more intense. she's not being rough she's just creating more pressure. it feels awesome but it makes me wanna cum like 50 times faster. If u think any of that sounds familiar then perhaps ask her to just ease up on the pressure a little bit. also, when my girl goes up and down with her mouth AND her hand at the same time that makes me bust quicker too as apposed to her just holding my dick tightly at the base and moving her head alone.

Hi Felix,
How about some answers?

* How is your sensitivity when masturbating?
* Are you circumcised or do you have a Foreskin?
* If the latter, do you pull it back or leave it extended?

> But when she touches me it feels like im TOO sensetive to it and feel really uncomfortable.

I'm assuming you are referring to the Glans being too sensitive. When in the process does this hyper-sensitivity manifest itself?

* In the beginning when you just start making out?
* Immediately before an orgasm?
* Just after enjoying an orgasm?

* How is she touching you differently than you do yourself that is making the difference?

Your answers will help us zero in on what might be happening.

Try using a lubricant. Doing so will permit you to use a much lighter touch. Alternately, you can try squeezing harder as you stroke.

If you are not yet masturbating, try to accomplish this just by stroking the shaft and leave the Glans alone for the time being.

> I cant stand the feeling of rubbing my gland, it gives me a really tickly feeling that feels really strange. And i have experimented and tried to masturbate touching the gland, the feeling just tickles too much and makes me want to stop it.

Rub the Glans through the foreskin.

> I have foreskin, and leave it extended. I cant stand the feeling of rubbing my gland, it gives me a really tickly feeling that feels really strange.

Hello Felix,
This is typical for a guy with a foreskin. It covers and protects the Glans and has since before birth. Because it has, the nerves in the Glans are not permitted to become desensitized like with those of us who have been "altered". Your nerves are in fact much more sensitive, so, as good as the sensations are for us, they are much better and intense for you folks.

> And i have experimented and tried to masturbate touching the gland, the feeling just tickles too much and makes me want to stop it. Is this common? What do I need to do to stop this sensitivity?

The ticklishness is something I have not heard about before. Most guys report that the Glans is just too sensitive to touch and handle very much. For those of us with exposed Glans, the nerves become desensitized from the elements (air) as well as just rubbing against underware and our skin and hair.

In addition to just being naturally more sensitive and able to enjoy stronger senstations is the fact the there are nerves in the foreskin that also contribute to your pleasure.

> What do I need to do to stop this sensitivity?

I'm not sure as people react differently depending upon the nature of the hyper sensitivity. There has been some discussion in the past from guys who report that they retract the foreskin for short periods of time and let the Glans out in the open for a while. Over time contact with the air and clothing will reduce your sensitivity.

Other guys just work with the Glans a little at a time becoming more accustomed to the accute sensations. I don't know what to advise. You'll just have to experiment and judge for yourself over time.

I do believe that if you lubricate the Glans before you handle it that it will be more rewarding in the long run. Once lubed, you can try using more pressure or less, just grazing the skin to see what works better. It might just be that you will not be able to handle it directly and will have to rub it through the foreskin and the protection it provides.

> I havent orgasm'd yet because of this feeling. I also cant masturbate in the shower because of this ultra sensitive feeling.

Really? Are you saying that since learning to masturbate that you have yet to climax? I'm curious how this is even possible........ Regardless, use a lubricant and masturbate all the way through to a climax with the foreskin forward. In point of fact, it is generally not a requirement to even stimulate the Glans as stroking the shaft will allow a person to climax just from stroking.

Of course its good to tell her.... otherwise, she won't know any different.

When you have sex, hopefully.....you'll be wearing a condom... and that should help a little w/ the sensitivity.

Hello Felix,
If you have read m/any of my posts you will find several in which I tell people that communication is key to having a successful relationship and especially the romantic aspect of one. So, yes, I would let your girlfriend in on your "condition" as it will add to her knowledge about sex education. **

Girls/women also report a sensation of having to pee upon becoming highly aroused, so this is nothing uncommon. Just make sure you empty your bladder sometime before starting to make out. It is a false signal that will soon go away so if you know you won't be peeing, you can push right through the sensation and your orgasm will be on the other side.

Because we become much more excited when in the company of a lover than when we are alone, you may or may not experience this sensation when masturbating. Either way, just go to the bathroom beforehand.

The foreskin may or may not retract as a result of having intercourse. Much depends upon how easily it retracts, the sexual position used, and, how aroused the woman is because as she becomes more excited, the vagina will expand in circumference and not fit like a glove thus moving the foreskin back and forth. If you find that it is being moved back or alternately back and forth with your stroking it may not be a bad thing because the vagina offers less intense stimulation than does a hand or mouth.

** If you find that you are having a problem with the ticklishness or wanting to pee; or, just having your glans touched in general, let her know and try hesitating your movements or pausing briefly when these sensations occur and then continuing. You might also want to set up some training sessions that the two of you can work on together in order for you to become less sensitive to having your Glans touched and rubbed either by hand or orally. Often, just changing or varying the pressure of the touch will be enough of a change to squelch these distracting sensations.

Lastly, please keep in mind that making love is not what we do to each other, rather, what we do with and for each other. It is a partnership and as such requires teamwork. So, talk to each other, communicate your feelings, and, work together. Give each other feedback on how you are reacting to his/her touches and caresses and for what you may need--now. If you do decide to practice, do them at a time when the two of you are not planning to be romantic by keeping the practicing separate and apart from the romantic aspects of doing the same things.

I also concur with Demonbuttercup. Wear a condom! Doing so will pretty much desensitize you whether you elect to put it on with the foreskin retracted or not. If you do decide to wear it with the foreskin retracted, then try and evaluate whether it is better to wear it dry or with a bit of lube applied just to the Glans in order for it to have a bit of "wiggle room" within the condom to help transmit the friction. You may just find that by wearing a condom, all your problems will be solved.

I would doubt she is just saying those things to you. I would be inclined to believe she is telling you the truth.

There are many men who have experience but are not great, some have really been not so good. Then there are other's, who do not have "experience" but know what they are doing sexually. I believe if you really take your time and read many of these posts it will help your first time, and you will do better then most. The difference there's no true substitute for the first time. If you know what to do & how to do it and it will be easier for you.

Conversely, you can have wonderful sex w/one partner then in the future when you are with someone else, the first time with that person may be less then wonderful. It takes time to know what your partner likes and it takes time to become comfortable with each other.

If you are thinking about being with this woman, read and read. Practice on foreplay and experiment on each other. See what feels good to you both and what you enjoy.

As far as telling if she had an orgasm, I am unsure. You said you have been making out (kissing) and she has had an orgasm? Or are you on to petting, foreplay, etc.?

Please read my Sticky posts, there are several that have been written for you and others coming along the same path behind you. You'll find several of the relevant ones in the NEW TO SEX forum.

> Is there anyway of telling if she has reached orgasm?

I answer the question of knowing if/when your partner has climaxed. I answer other questions as well as providing step-by-step solutions to other aspects of human interactions when it comes to romance and making love in its various aspects.

> when we have been making out she seems to reach an orgasm or two every time.

This is to be expected and this is not an unusual result. I bet if you kept up with the fondling she might even experience a few orgasms.

> I'm a virgin and thought I wud need practise before being any "good" sexually.

"Sexually" how? With making out? With hand/blow jobs? With intercourse?

In one of the Sticky posts I state that experience equates to knowledge, not skill. With each new pairing there will be a new Square One from which to begin. Each party to the newly formed partnership brings likes, dislikes, quirks, preferences, and different expectations, all of which must be managed. So, just because one or both people may have had prior experience doesn't mean a whole lot. Explore and learn together.

Fundamental to all relationships is trust. One aspect of trust is in believing what our partner says unless and until the trust is somehow broken. Believe what she is telling you and do not let doubts from your Fragile Male Ego, get in the way.

You're welcome, Felix.

After rereading the thread I found one of your earlier posts in which you stated that you had never climaxed from your activities with your girlfriend. The reasons why are addressed in one of my Sticky posts; although I will touch on the reason briefly, here. Shortly after learning to masturbate we establish a pattern of movements, rhythms, and pressures that we pretty much rely upon to bring about a climax for the rest of our life. Oh, sure we may vary the way in which we do it from time to time out of bordom or just to experiment; although if we stray too far from what works, either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than expected.

We also benefit from an internal feedback that lets us modulate our movements on the fly so we can zero in on reaching the point of no return and going beyond. When we turn the reins over to our partner what invariably happens is that as good as the resulting sensations are, they are not what we rely upon and need to trigger an orgasm. This is also why oral stimulation and a hand job can and do generate even stronger more intense and enjoyable sensations than what we cause from just masturbating yet won't bring about a climax.

The fix for both of you is to demonstrate to your partner how you masturbate and then to take each other's hand and guide their movements several times until they learn to mimic the movements that are unique and specific to you. This is key for while we may understand how to stroke a penis or finger a clitoris in general, each of us develops a technique that I refer to as the "Fine Art" that is unique and specific to each person. This is what must be learned by each other. Encourage her to show you how she masturbates and then to guide your fingers. Moreover, please read the section in the Sticky that explains "Feedback".

> I hope that I don't have another sexual partner... Who knows though.

If it is to be it will be--that the two of you will remain together for the rest of your lives. Now, having said that, you have to consider that with the divorce rate in the U.S. at 50%, this is not likely. At this stage of your respective lives, you are not the person you will be in a year or two, five or ten. We continue to evolve based upon life experiences. Perhaps the largest changes to who we are happen during the late teens and early twenties. Dating has a purpose and it is not to start and end with the first warm body who epresses an interest in us.

The purposes of dating are to explore what humanity has to offer us in the way of potential partners and then to evaluate what we like and dislike about each person. Secondly, it is a way to have fun for an evening, rather than staying home. Dating also involves seeing more than one person at a time until we begin to narrow the playing field down to just a couple and then to just one individual.

The more personalities and characters and likes, dislikes, preferences, quirks, goals, morals, ideals, expectations, values, humor, etc. that we are exposed to the better able we will be to find Ms./Mr. Right when the time does come to focus in on just one person. So, while you may not want to date others right now, consider that if and when the time comes that the two of you drift apart, all the positive reasons why you should date a lot of girls whether at the same time or over time.