Hi everyone, my first post here. Muah to you all.
I'm young, still in high school. I plan on losing my virginity to a man I love very soon. He's older than me, and we've been together for about a year.
He's been very helpful so far in helping me accept my body and not be self-conscious. But I still have some issues. Stupid, stupid, issues that I need a little reassurance on.
As a child I was overweight. I'm at an average weight now but I still have the scars from how they treated me as a child. I also grew up in a semi-abusive home where I was constantly being labeled and critized. My friends say I'm the epitome of the ugly duckling lolol but whatever moving on.
Okay. I have short legs. I am 5'7 but my inseam is about 28 inches. Nobody else has ever mentioned this to me, but I torture myself over it. I feel like I'm surrounded by gorgeous long-legged black and Nordic women. And here I am, little Italian girl, just as tall as them, with legs half as long. lol
I was wondering, is this gonna affect my ability to be on top? I mean am I gonna look very weird having this long torso and short legs? I'm so self conscious about this. Men...I know long legs make a girl more desirable, but do short ones automatically make her less desirable?
Also my breasts. Uneven. But I accept that as normal now. They're saggy, and I've accepted that. But the thing is I wear a 38 D. When I lay on my back they are huge in diameter lol. They also...move. I mean I can turn my head and they bounce. Is this normal? lol I feel like a freak cause most girls I see with big ones have them perfectly...still. Mine look like they have the consistency of Jello. lol. Is this a turnoff? I am worried about them going crazy when I ride him...lol.
Also (yeah I know ya must be getting sick of me). My boyfriend wants me to be on top the first time so I can ease it in. I don't want to be. I mean I love the idea, and want to be on top eventually. I just hate pain. And my hymen is very intact so there will be pain.
This sounds bad but I would rather he just...ram it in. When I was a kid I could never pull my own band aid off lol. Somebody else had to do it for me.
So I actually want to do it doggy style the first time. How can I convince him that, while he is hurting me, I don't think of it that way? I just don't want to do it myself.
So....if you read this ur a cool person with patience. Hehe. Peace and thanks to anyone who has a comment.
no one has ANY right to judge you. NO ONE has the right to cut you down or diminish your character or belittle your appearance. take all their bah blah blah bull and forget about it - right here right now and once an for all. do not listen to another word they have to say. it is absolute bull! DO NOT ever compare yourself to other people ever again.
you are an individual human being unique from everyone else. we live with billions of other individuals and some are tall and some short and some fat and some skinny and some have high cheek bones and some have knobby knees and yet no one will be exactly like you. we can diet to lose a few pounds or color our hair or exercise to tone our butt. use to be we couldnt change what genetics and heritity determined as far as the shape of our body and size of our body parts. with the technology that exists today we can cut and tuck and add and subtract and basically have ourselves rebuilt to suit our hearts desire.
you are the only person you need to please. only you can decide for yourself what you do and dont like about yourself. be the YOU you desire to be and then set your sites on being the BEST you there will ever be.
Ah... self-esteem. As a gay person I know something about this. When you grow up constantly being told you don't "fit"... well, you learn to deal with it or you die.
First of all, your looks. Your boyfriend already has a pretty good idea what you look like. So I don't think anything much will change in that department after you have sex. Short legs won't keep you from doing anything sexually that you want. And I have it on good authority that, yes indeed, real breasts DO bounce. I don't know who you've been comparing yourself to, but chances are if they are large and don't move, they have been made that way...lol. Don't feel bad about this... men do the same thing with penises. They see porn stars and think "Lord! I'm not normal!" So we all have issues...lol. Just one other thing to keep in mind, people are usually much more concerned over their own looks than those of another person. Translate that to mean your boyfriend will probably be worrying about his own looks as well. So just relax and enjoy yourself. Sex is suppose to be fun.
As for sexual position, there are things you can do to make it easier. The hymen can be stretched- some girls do this just by wearing tampons- but it can be done manually, either with fingering or dildos. In a warm bath is a great place to work on this when the skin is warm and relaxed. Before I get jumped on by the women on the board, let me say that this doesn't necessarily guarantee no pain during your first time... it's just a possible exercise to help. He should also go slowly the first time and "warm you up"... this again can be done by fingering and increasing the number of fingers over time. Just take your time. If there is pain, most women I've talked to seem to think it was worth it...lol.
I know you didn't ask this, but, please, make SURE you use protection. Condoms and a spermicidal foam or jelly. We want you around to enjoy sex for a long time.
I just want to finish up by saying that I know I probably don't have any right to be responding to this topic- not really MY genre- but I just hate to see someone down on themselves. I think everyone has beautiful qualities- they should just believe in themselves and not worry about what other people might think about them. Which is usually less than you might think.
Take care and I hope you have fun.