Since I started having sex with my girlfriend, my sex drive has steadily increased, although for some reason the effect isn't noticable when I have sex with her. However, in private my usual routine with my fingers hasn't felt like enough. Last night, I discovered the wonders of the handle of a screwdriver. Nice well-worn plastic, about the right size, and fairly smooth.
So, is using this item alright, or is it damaging? I made sure it's clean.....
I had thought about getting a dildo, but I don't care for alot of the phallic symbolism, and I'm far too shy to walk into a sex store, and I really don't want to get anything online because I'm very careful about what I use my credit card for (and no, when people say "discreet transaction" it really isn't true....)
If you keep it clean (run it through the dishwasher) and keep the right end out, no rust, should be okay. I am sure you will not be the first. Many times in the ER, there are some FUNKY items to be removed...seen much worse. The rule is if there is an object, some one will find an orifice to insert it into.
I've heard of girls using stuff like pens, spoons, hairbrushes, and even Coke bottles :eek:. I guess some girls can't ever find anything wide enough.....
But I'm a bit too tight for most of the objects I find lying around, so the screwdriver seems to be my choice (handle first, of course.....)
Pens, Bottles, and any sharp or breakable object...stay away from. When choosing an object think about the potential for damage & need for removal.
[QUOTE=CrazyJenny;190503]I had thought about getting a dildo, but I don't care for alot of the phallic symbolism . . .[/QUOTE]
The more an insertive toy resembles and feels like an average-sized real penis, the more pleasure you are likely to get from it. So you may be depriving yourself of more pleasure because of your aversion to objects that resemble a human phallus. I used to feel a similar aversion myself, so I do understand where you are coming from. Ask a friend to get one for you if you are too shy to go into an adult store yourself.
I am new here, so I don't know whether you already know about the joys of clitoral stimulators, which for me is the best use of a vibrating dildo. They do a far better job on the outside than inside.
About your screwdriver handle, I agree with other posters that so long as you keep it clean between usage, it should be OK. Have fun!
[QUOTE=CrazyJenny;190503]
I had thought about getting a dildo, but I don't care for alot of the phallic symbolism, and I'm far too shy to walk into a sex store[/QUOTE]
try going into a sex store with your partner. i am too shy to go into a sex shop alone...but i have no problem doing it with my guy, or with some friends :)
I use the handle of a hairbrush, it works wonders. I have tried a lot of things though...a hammer handle worked well too :D.
Just a hint though, or a personal preference at least...use something smooth (not ridged), and make it a bit longer than you need or you'll be feeling it, not in a good way afterwards.
Also, they usually only suggest this for anal play toys but get something with an end too big to go inside yourself, in case you push it too far, you can pull it out.
Oh and there are some dildos out there, especially glass/silicone ones (which happen to be the most sanitary and long lasting) are available in abstract shapes. :)
[QUOTE=curious_woman;190532]
Also, they usually only suggest this for anal play toys but get something with an end too big to go inside yourself, in case you push it too far, you can pull it out. [/QUOTE]
Not a direct response to you, Curious Woman, but a thought on the above topic.
I am puzzled by women and girls who have trouble getting objects (tampons, condoms, etc.) out of their vagina. Unlike the rectum, the vagina has an end. Just squat and push. If the object doesn't come out easily, squat, put your fingers inside your vagina, find the object with your fingers, and pull on the object. If all else fails, put some vegetable oil on your fingers to lube up your vagina, and repeat both steps again. Works for me every time!
Nothing worse coming out than that last, dry tampon of each period!
I have had a cologne bottle since I was 16. Could not live without it.
Those things we stick in ourselves repeatedly, diaphragms, menstrual cups, toys, screwdriver handles, should have a periodic vinegar dip. I do not care what the instructions with your toys say, nothing is better. Mix one part white vinegar with two parts water and soak the item for twenty minutes or so.
At the end of each period, my menstrual cup gets soaked.
[QUOTE=BTDTWoman;190563]Not a direct response to you, Curious Woman, but a thought on the above topic.
I am puzzled by women and girls who have trouble getting objects (tampons, condoms, etc.) out of their vagina. Unlike the rectum, the vagina has an end. Just squat and push. If the object doesn't come out easily, squat, put your fingers inside your vagina, find the object with your fingers, and pull on the object. If all else fails, put some vegetable oil on your fingers to lube up your vagina, and repeat both steps again. Works for me every time![/QUOTE]
Trust me BTDT, I know exactly what you mean and I've never got anything "stuck" or "lost". It amazes me the stories of women who get sick from leaving a tampon inside for months, since they forgot about it.
Theres no harm being on the safe side though, if something gets stuck inside you I'm sure you'd panic and clench your muscles, making it hard to pull out. Doesn't hurt to be cautious!
I agree with Brandye about the last tampon though :( it burns! Lol!
[QUOTE=Brandye;190566]Nothing worse coming out than that last, dry tampon of each period!.[/QUOTE]
I hate that! It tends to hurt sometimes too!
As to the masturbation with a screwdriver handle...whatever floats your boat. Like stated above if its cleaned properly it should be just fine and dandy. Although, me personally, I never get anything out of using any object except my fingers :S
Brandye - Amen to your suggestion of the vinegar solution soak! Thanks for adding it to this thread. Before I learned about vinegar, my reusable menstrual blood catchers had a foul odor that made it hard to keep my commitment to earth-friendly hygiene. Vinegar was the only "solution," so to speak.
So, CuriousWoman, since they make dildos in "ambiguous" or "nonrepresentational" shapes, I wonder if any would be thin enough to fit me? So far, what my girlfriend has used on me is too big, and so it HURTS. The screwdriver handle is about a half inch in diameter......
[QUOTE=CrazyJenny;190700]So, CuriousWoman, since they make dildos in "ambiguous" or "nonrepresentational" shapes, I wonder if any would be thin enough to fit me? So far, what my girlfriend has used on me is too big, and so it HURTS. The screwdriver handle is about a half inch in diameter......[/QUOTE]
Sure thing, buy an anal one instead. :)
There are also dildos made out there specifically for "smaller" women, if you catch my drift.
Small? I don't think biologically normal adult women can have a small or tight vagina requiring small objects for penetration.
If you clench your pelvic muscles tight, and your vagina is dry, even small objects are going to feel uncomfortable going in (or out). Try to consciously relax the pelvic muscles and use a lot of artificial lubricant. You will be surprised at how much you can fit in there comfortably.
Let us know if you need to learn more about how to relax your pelvic muscles.
I might be clenching, but I don't think so. And as for lube, I'm pretty wet.....
One problem is that I'm pretty new to the penetration thing, and until my girlfriend did it to me, I never really even put my fingers inside. So, that screwdriver handle seems to be what works right now. I'm certain I could fit something alot larger in, but I don't want to. Why should I have to have unwanted pain?
[QUOTE=CrazyJenny;190728]. Why should I have to have unwanted pain?[/QUOTE]
Of course you shouldn't have unwanted pain. I am only encouraging you to explore ways to find more pleaure in penetration.
[QUOTE=BTDTWoman;190730]Of course you shouldn't have unwanted pain. I am only encouraging you to explore ways to find more pleaure in penetration.[/QUOTE]
Women using a dildo for a first time, or virgins, are encouraged to use smaller size dildos. Say 4-5 inches, instead of 8. Besides what does it matter how big
or small it is, as long as she enjoys it?
My girlfriend picked up a couple of smaller items for me today..... :D
[QUOTE=curious_woman;190784]Women using a dildo for a first time, or virgins, are encouraged to use smaller size dildos. Say 4-5 inches, instead of 8. Besides what does it matter how big
or small it is, as long as she enjoys it?[/QUOTE
I agree with you totally about enjoyment being the key issue here, not the size.
But I am curious about why you say that an average penis-sized dildo (about 6") would not recommended for a virgin or a new dildo user. My experience and knowledge says it's all about lube and relaxing.
Please share your reasoning here? I'm the curious woman this time. :) Thanks.
For me, length isn't the issue, it's diameter. I can run something eight inches long up inside me without a problem, but I'm comfortable with about a half inch in diameter. My girlfirend first penetrated me with something alot larger, and it hurt like hell and I bled all over the place. I know I can take something fairly large, I just don't want to.
Fortunately, my girlfriend understands and she bought a special one to use on me. I don't know where she found it, but it's perfect - about 3/4 inches in diameter (a bit bigger, but OK), and about 5 and a half inches long.
I am so sorry that you bled and felt pain. Doesn't sound like fun! Here's hoping for more pleasure and less trauma the next time you explore something new!
My own personal rule about sexual exploration is that if something hurts me, I stop; if I don't want to do it, I don't.
I guess I should have known - my girlfriend had never penetrated a virgin before, and so she was a bit rough. She had a strap-on, and well.... she just put a little extra lube on and stuck it in! And since she likes some things pretty rough, she thought I was the same and just wanted a good hard f*ck.
It's better now though, and my girlfriend is aware she needs to be alot more gentle.
[QUOTE=BTDTWoman;190831]
I agree with you totally about enjoyment being the key issue here, not the size.
But I am curious about why you say that an average penis-sized dildo (about 6") would not recommended for a virgin or a new dildo user. My experience and knowledge says it's all about lube and relaxing.
Please share your reasoning here? I'm the curious woman this time. :) Thanks.[/QUOTE]
Most women I know who are virgins do not want to break their own hymen. Its actually dangerous to break your own from what I have read. Besides I remember the first time I used something on myself, I wouldn't want anything big its intimidating :D.
Anyways back on topic, congrats for finding something that works!
I don't think that having your hymen break on your own or from a man/toy would really be any different. What kind of things have you read about that and from where? I'm just curious.
[QUOTE=Suki2007;190901]I don't think that having your hymen break on your own or from a man/toy would really be any different. What kind of things have you read about that and from where? I'm just curious.[/QUOTE]
It is hard to get the correct/safe angle yourself. I didn't mean someone else can't use a toy on a virgin, just on yourself there can be complications, it might not tear right, or tear too much and cause REAL bleeding not just the normal blood of popping a cherry. It was something I learned in sex-ed in school, years ago. I also heard it from a nurse at a sexual health clinic. Maybe I'm misinformed, perhaps Brandye or sera can help, but regardless if its not REAL information...personally I wouldn't break my hymen with a toy, I'd want to break it "naturally" just to be safe ;).
For the record, my hymen broke even before I had sex, or any thoughts about sex. I was a gymnast who fell crotch first on the beam one too many times :rolleyes:.
I ran into a wall on my bike. Ouch! I was about 11.