I have a new boyfriend now but given what happened with the other one I am so scared around him. I don't know, I'm scared that any moment we kiss, he's gonna rape me or something. Like yesterday, he just got on top of e to kiss me and I got so scared, I started to cry and panicked. There's something wrong with me, help.
Sat, 12/30/2006 - 02:28
#1
scared that guys will rape me
you are fine don't worry...you probably dont trust him yet
You are going to remain frightened until you get your head straight. Did you call a rape crisis hotline like we suggested? Maybe you shouldn't worried about having a boyfriend at this time. You have been through a great deal of crap and really need to take some time to get yourself right again.
have you told someone?
have you gotten help?
i personally think you should tell your new boyfriend so he knows whats going on and he can comfort you.
not everyone is sick and disgusting, i find it wrong and very unfair that you had to go thorugh something like that with someone so intimate as a boyfriend, however it does happen and things heal over time.
tell you boyfriend
see someone.
A new boyfriend? Already? How many days is it since you ditched the other guy? If you've only just met this this new guy, I don't see how you could call him your boyfriend yet.
I think you are going about things the wrong way. You are moving way too fast with this. I've said it before, but just take things slowly and give yourself some time out to deal with the emotional effects of the other bad experience you've had.
It really sounds like you'd be better off treating any guys you meet just as friends for the time being. Take some time getting to know them first. You need to build up some trust before you go jumping into another relationship.
agreed entirely,
again, how long has it been since the disgusting pervert?
Why are you seeing men already? Have you reported the foul beast? What did your counselor say?
col - NOT all men are going to rape you but I strongly suggest that you back off from your new boyfriend and STOP letting him get on top of you. You CAN take control of the situationby STOP being 'NICE'.
You are acting this way because you HAVEN'T dealt with what happened to you. You NEED to speak with a counselor!
take your time you don't need to prove anything to yourself. get your previous experience resolved and if you want to be serious with this guy tell him what happened so that he can understand and act acordingly if he does not understand then he is not worth it.
I am currently seeing a counselor, once a week.
And well this new boyfriend, I feel like he wants sex, I don't know why but I sense that. It might be better to stop this relationship. I really don't like when he gets on top of me.
Good. In the mean time, giver yourself some breathing room. Say goodbye to this fellow. Yes I know it is tough but you do need to steer clear for a while.
Relax, you'll be back.
I guess I'll do that. Because he was like all around me and getting on top of me and having sort of like dry sex with me without my consent and I totally panicked you know. this is normal for me but he wouldn't be supposed to do that to me.
but I have sort of like right now no self-esteem for myself and feels like I should do what guys what. I should sleep with them, letting them do everything they want to me even if i don't 100 % want to do those thing. i feel like a slut who've got nothing to loose anymore you know ?
he may have not been trying to have dry sex or anything like that. i have been in that kind of situation not even a week ago i was a friends house and me and her were talking so i just kind of pinned her down and me and her made out. no it wasnt me trying to get some but that seemed to work with her and im about to ask her to go stable with me tomarrow when the ball drops for new years. but he may not of had the same intentions as i, so maybe sit down and talk to him about what happened and what he is trying to gain from this relationship with you
I'm just wondering if this guy is aware of your previous bad experience, and is using it to take advantage of you. If he is trying things without your consent, then tell him NO, and be DEFINITE about it. You do NOT have to do anything that you don't want to.
I can only echo the concerns of other people on this thread, and urge you to seek help to deal with your emotional trauma. It sounds like have taken the first step by seeing a counselor, which is good, but put the relationship stuff on hold for the moment.
If you have low self esteem, it may be that you are tending to attract the wrong sort of guy. You don't want that to continue, as it will only lead to you getting hurt again. Don't give in to those negative feelings, things will improve over time.
As an aside, I remember a comment that was made at a meditation course I did recently: 'Emotions are like the weather, they always pass.' I think this is a good thing to remember. It is normal to feel bad after a traumatic experience, but those feelings will pass.
Plus if he doesn't know about your prior situation... he wont know to be "extra sevsitive" around you.
For all he knows.. he's just being playful or whatever?
I agree it was way to soon to get back into any type of relationship.
You are way to paranoid to see things for their true colors. You will always assume negative intent :(
he needs to know of your previous experience so as to act accordingly and your therapist should know about him too as he/she will be able to advise you it does seem a bit too soon to be getting with someone.
if your current bf is very supportive perhaps he may wish (if you do too) to come with you to some of your sessions so as to make this a team effort but that is up to you and ask your therapistshe willbe more prepared to answer than us