Look in the "Pleasing her" part of the forum and you'll find several great stickies, such as: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/11345-fingering-101-a.html, http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/27936-pleasing-her-orally-f..., http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/24284-kivin-method.html, etc :)

And I'd say: it's about having fun, not passing a test or something. So don't be too worried. Just start with anything you usually do; talking, cuddling, kissing, etc. Once both ready; read her body, ask for her directions or direct your fingers for you. And off course; stop immediately when asked to. No-one can read minds and she knows best what she (dis)likes. Most important of all: don't get all disappointed or nervous when things don't turn out "perfect". Cause even when you've got years of experience, you'll find that every women is different and so you'll need to learn and get to know her preference to please her. And each time you get intimate, even with the same girl, it may feel different. It really is not about the destination, it's about enjoying every step on the road :)

> i'm terrified and was wondering if someone could give me some tips to help me feel more confident?

I recommend that you begin reading each of the articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. I'm surprised that in the nine plus months that you have been a member of our community that you are asking. There are articles that discuss all this and more, as noted above. That said, here are some steps for you to consider:

1. Make out for no less than half an hour.
a. Making out means beginning with Necking, moving on to Petting, moving on to Heavy Petting, all before getting to the Foreplay stage.

2. If and when the time is right to approach her genitals, do so in a round about manner by brushing your hand over her as you move on to someplace else.

3. If she is wearing jeans, unfasten them at the waist and slip a hand inside and fondle her. She probably will not feel much and neither will you; however, what is important is to understand that you are building trust and intimacy.
a. If she is wearing shorts with an elastic waistband, just slip a finger inside.
b. If she is wearing a dress/skirt, slip a hand up. In all cases, do not go inside her panties just yet. Hold off on that for a while.

4. Read about Implied Consent and Boundaries and work within those parameters. Learning how to use these techniques will keep you from over stepping her boundary, and, from needing to ask if you can do this or that, all the time.

5. Do you know that she wants you to finger her, or, are you just hoping that she will let you? If you are simply hoping she will let you, then you have to understand she may very well not if she happens to be on her period, or, have some other temporary reason for you not to. Even with her approval, take it slow and easy.

6. Once you are at the stage of undress, take plenty of time to explore that part of her anatomy. Let her become accustomed to you being there. Keep on keeping on with all the making out in order to keep her level of arousal high. If her level of arousal is not very high, or, she is apprehensive, do not press the matter. Save any further sex play for another day.

7. Do you plan on being (partially) undressed, also? If so, what do you expect from her? Does she have any prior experience? If not, then work with her and show her what to do and use two other tools: Communication and feedback so that she will know what to do and for how you are responding to her caresses. There are articles on these you can read.
a. If she stops you from undressing, or, stops you from letting her touch you, then consider that she is also not ready for you to touch her genitals, also.

8. If she welcomes your touch and caresses, work from the outside toward the inside--meaning, from her mons down along each of the labia major in turn, and/or the cleft between them (vulva). Do not go straight away for the clitoris or vaginal opening. Work your way along to this level of intimacy (read: building trust and intimacy).

9. Feel and caress the inner labia minora (small lips) and find where they meet at the top. You will then be able to locate the clitoris just inside the juncture.

10. Use lubrication, either her mucus, your saliva, or a commercial lubricant to continue.
a. Understand that the tip of the clitoris (akin to the glans of the penis) is extremely sensitive! Be very gentle with this organ. Read the article on giving hand jobs and oral stimulation, first.

Much mention is made of the "tip of the clitoris" and very little about the shaft or the surrounding area. Know that like the shaft of your penis, the shaft of the clitoris, buried though it is, responds well to rubbing and massaging. The labia minor are extremely responsive once a woman is highly aroused, so you can give them much of your attention, especially if the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch. You have much to work with, do not focus on just the tip.

b. Do not be in any rush to finger her vagina, inside or outside. Take some weeks to practice arousing her and titillating her in other ways and places, first. There is no immediate need (other than perhaps your desire) to finger the inside of her vagina. Depending upon how her hymen is constructed, you may not be able to, anyway. Secondly, there are no nerves inside the vagina so most women do not feel much of anything, except for a sense of fullness that is a very pleasant sensation. As for the G-spot and other hot-spots, wait until she is very comfortable with everything else, first.

11. Do you know if she is orgasmic? In other words, has she learned to masturbate and have orgasms regularly and consistently?
a. If yes, then have her take your fingers and show you how to mimic her technique, giving you direction and feedback.
b. If no, then please understand that you cannot give her or anybody else an orgasm. Each of us, male and female, is responsible for our own. All anyone of us can do is to help our partner achieve hers/his.
c. If you concentrate on making your make out session pleasant, then an orgasm for her (capable or not) will generally be a satisfying experience. Please understand that orgasms for the male of the species are a biological necessity; not so for the female of the species. Concentrate on giving her a good time and with no demands or expectations.

Lastly: Knowledge is empowering. I recommend that both of you read all of the articles in the Index, then discuss each one after reading them. Add all that you have learned to what each of you already knows.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

Look just remember one thing:
THIS IS NOT THE OLYMPICS - NO ONE'S KEEPING SCORE HERE.
Just so and do what she likes and keep doing it for as long as she likes it.
Really. It is just that simple.

> scared and would like some tips

Use the interim to do some reading and learning. Knowledge is empowering.

I have not heard this saying in a long time, maybe it is still referred to, maybe not:
"I got lucky last night...."

The definition of "luck" is when opportunity meets preparedness. There is no reason to be scared--be prepared and if a bit anxious, know that this is normal.

-doc

[QUOTE=onlyformygirl;260083]oh well, it didn't happen anyways. we couldn't get anytime to ourselves so oh well[/QUOTE]

That will happen. Take it from someone who'd had more than 3 lovers. Don't let it get you down. If really does want you, she'll be eager to get together again. If she doesn't, there's over 6.1 billion people on Earth, even with sex selection (in preference for boys), there are more than 3 billion females on this planet, not including her. I don't believe in one right person for everyone; however there are many right kind of people for everyone. This holds true for trysts and for love.

Also: A practical piece of advice for doing manual sex on a woman: cut your fingernails short the day before (if possible). Even a half-day before would be good. If you don't know until close to time, clip them and use either fine grain sandpaper or an emery board (think of it as getting in touch with your feminine side :) ). There are sometimes "burrs" that happen and running the cut end over something abrasive (e.g.: fine grain sandpaper or emery board) removes the burrs.