And you think this is okay chat when you have not met her? This is bizarre as is not meeting someone; rather having phone sex.

[quote=clintowens;195851]I DO know this lady and have known her for about 5 years. It's only recently that she has said she wants to get together.[/quote]So just get together w/her and see where you go. Stop the chitter chat and have some fun. It may be some fantasy of sorts for her (usually it's about being dominated)...just for now hook up and see where you go first...your sexual repertoire will expand and become more defined when you actually DO something.

Recently or not, the time line is wrong. I sometimes use the phrase "you've got the proverbial cart before the horse;" in this case with an act that has potential for danger and misunderstanding, her desire so soon, is more like those trains you see with the engine pushing an entire string of railroad cars!

Better me thinks to establish a sexual relationship, first, get to know and to TRUST each other in this intimate realm long before venturing too far from the straight and narrow. I'm not saying don't role play this scenario, just don't do it until the two of you are very comfortable with each other sexually. Once you are, then sit down beforehand and discuss what form this play acting might take --AND, have a safe word as an exit strategy.

Here is a partial quote from a reply to a similar question:

"> also he always says he'd like to "rape" me and i always talk about how i'd like to be 'raped'.

You better have every trust and confidence in him and your relationship before playing this game. Once again it is all in how the scene is staged. In a recent thread several women talked about how they enjoy being pushed back against a wall with their hands held up in the air while their man has his way with them. Well, OK, as long as it is the illusion of force and not the result of it. The same goes for rape. He can approach you, you can resist, he can become more forceful, you can keep your legs together and make him 'fight' to pry them apart, and so on, yet throughout all this these things are done in the spirit of love and fun. You won't actually be taken advantage of, nor will you in fact be raped. It's all an act.

To insure and ensure that these activities remain playful and harmless, you need to have an exit strategy. Come up with a word or phrase that is not used in normal conversation that when uttered is an automatic and immediate STOP command. When one of you says this word, everything stops, no questions asked. Do not use words or phrases like: "Stop", "don't do that", "you're hurting me", etc."

when i first started having sex with my guy, i wouldnt let him do half the stuff we do now, and he can be very dominating. the way i see it, its "extreme" because it is an extreme act of love/trust. i'd say a stunt like that should not be attempted until you know each other better (sexually)

Absolutely. Start small and work your way up.

Always remember that you are presenting the illusion of rape, never the action itself. That seems obvious, but the most important difference between the two is that rape is not about sex, it's about power. The illusion of rape is about pleasure.

Safety words, for everyone!

Ours is water, though, we've never had to use it.

This reminds me of a part in the novel 'Choke'.

In it, the guy was having a fling with random girl who wanted to act out a rape scenario. So there he was trying to play the part of attacker, and she kept berating him for not raping her her the way she wanted. It ended up becoming a very frustrating (but comical) ordeal for him.