Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating.

Relationships including the romantic and sexual aspects are partnerships. Communication {talking and discussing) as well as providing each other with feedback {verbal and non-verbal) are key aspects of each relationship. None of us are mind readers, and, guys in particular have only one way of looking at the how-to's of making love--for what works for them, and not realizing or understanding in the beginning that women are different and require a different approach.

Please talk to each other at times when you are not about to become romantic and tell him what works for you and if required guiding him. The same works for him with you. Call this show 'n tell.

Please familiarize yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

I recommend that the two of you read every article, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

sounds like you are enjoying it so no reason to be squeamish

First, let him know what works and does not work for you during your make out sessions.

Second, as the saying goes: "don't bite off more than you can chew," meaning, proceed in small steps that you know will be comfortable for you. As the two of you proceed and become comfortable with each other, you can increase the level of intimacy and familiarity.

Set up rules and boundaries. There is an article in the Index that discusses boundaries and "Implied Consent". The two of you should read them.

Most of what you have described can be connected to a lack of knowledge, skill, and technique--things the two of you need to read about and talk about.

> i love for him to do it but everytime he hints that he wants to i get squeamish.

This is where you need boundaries as well as understanding. Proceed only as far and as fast as you are comfortable. Later, understanding how Implied Consent works will help the two of you progress as your comfort level increases over time.

> he gets so into my box

Please clarify.

> he gets really carried away when i come its with an unyeilding force that leaves me conflicted

Please clarify as well as what you are "conflicted" about.

Tnx,

-doc

IF you want to him to stop, ask him to stop. If he does not stop GET UP AND WALK AWAY.

Really, girl! Get a grip! If you don't like it - and that you want to run away screaming when he approaches is a clear sign something's not right - then something's NOT right.

Sex is supposed to be glorious fun- not some sort of stamina test.

IF it is NOT fun then STOP. You have the right to control what sex you engage in whether you love him or not.

But to me it sounds as if he's not listening to you because he thinks "Don't!" "Stop!" means "Don't stop!." So you will have to teach him that when you SAY STOP you MEAN STOP.

So you want it, but either you:

*don't want to want it
*don't think you're supposed to want it
*are intimidated by his intensity/force/approach

The first two are about your attitudes toward sex. They're about learning to let go and allow yourself the pleasure. Learning that you're only human, and all humans have these desires, and that it's okay to want them, and to permit yourself to experience it.

The last one is about the two of you communicating and learning to work together. You have to listen to each other's words, and each other's bodies. If something in his approach intimidates you, find a way to express that to him. As partners in this thing, each one of you has a responsibility to help the other learn to give you what you need. You each also have a responsibility to learn what the other is trying to teach you about what they need. If you're not teaching "you" to him, and he's not learning "you", this won't get any better.

I had a feeling it was some combination of the three.

As far as cunnilingus, it really depends on the guy. There's no one "all guys prefer this" about ANYTHING that has to do with sex.

There are ways to communicate during without stopping the whole session to do a Power Point presentation. Sorry, that was flippant, but there ARE cues you can give him as far as how fast he's moving and whether you like what he's doing that second or if some change to the motion would make it work better for you. And you have GOT to provide that kind of feedback or he'll never learn to satisfy you.

That said, I do see what you're saying, and during is not the only time you can communicate about this. Have a conversation at some time when the option to do the physical acts is not on the agenda. This talk should not be in prep for a session. Talk with him about attitudes about sex--he needs to know where you stand, what's holding you back, etc.

Lord! If ever there was a time to be flippant - not take things so seriously - it is SEX. This is supposed to be FUN!

Some guys REALLY enjoy cunnilingus and some guys are okay w it and some guys just will not go there and sometimes it just 'depends'. There are a lot of varibles when it comes to humans and sex esp. when it comes to the mental aspects.

But there is no need to feel intimidated. If you knew what guys had to go through to get a girl - any girl - to acknowledge his existence, you'd realise that your guy is a fortunate man - he's got you. So stop feeling like you have no say in this. Tell him what you want, what you like when and how. You can be nice or you can be evil - either way could be fun. I do a kind of evil snake hypnosis thing that puts men under my spell so they don't put up too much resistence. I hate to break a claw - don't you?

BTW my doctor told me today I need more "aerobic exercise". Time to go and get another man!

Just enjoy grinding his face!!
Oh how i miss it!