> Well me and my boyfriend have done a lot and he likes to give and I have asked him many of times what I can do for him and he says I just want to give.

This is noble; it is also selfish. Your b/f needs to understand that a relationship is a partnership and that entails give and give, not give and receive. I think it is great that he wants to see to your needs, wants, and desires; however, it is ridiculous to assume that he doesn't have the same sorts of needs. He is placing you on a pedestal and playing the martyr. This is not noble.

It has been said that a relationship is a "give and take" association. I belong to the school of thought that says it is a give and give. Each partner gives 100% and receives 100%. This is a different philosophy than simply being a receiver, or worse, a taker.

> And now we have been talking about sex and It feels like time but I don't want to go right in to sex before we have done things,

I completely agree. All too often teens and young adults these days either move straight into intercourse (Proverbial "Quickie") or, do some brief amount of foreplay and then mount up. What ever happened to romance, going around the "bases", making out, fooling around, all before ever getting to foreplay? Something is missing in today's Sex Education.

If you would like a short series of articles on how to accomplish what have long been considered the "basics", then please read the articles listed in this index, paying particular attention to Chapter Three in the fourth series of articles:

One Stop Shopping--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

> and another thing is he is about 3 years older than me. Would that be to over powering?

I look at and evaluate this question based upon the ages of the individuals as well as the span between them. For example, more often than not, an 18 y/o and a 25 y/o are at two different stages of life and life experience.

18/20=OK
20/23=OK
25/30=OK
30/38=OK
35/45=OK
40/50=OK

The above spans are just my take on things and are not carved in granite; however, they do serve as benchmarks for maturity and the two individuals being on the same page. Wider spans within the groups often introduce additional problems that have to be dealt with simply because the two people are at widely different places in life, with different outlooks, perspectives, goals, beliefs, etc.

> I mean I love him but I just don't know.

Please read Brandye's article on whether or not you are ready for sex.

If you do not know, whatever, perhaps you should take it slow and get to know one another for several months. You can either have a friends with benefits relationship; or, you can have a loving relationship in which sex is the physical expression of that love. Before getting to the intercourse stage, before getting to the foreplay stage that includes oral and hand jobs, I recommend spending a few months necking, petting, and all that fooling around encompasses.

> I am afriad that if it hurts or if I bleed that he might just stop and not go on. PLease help me.

You two need to talk to each other. You need to know what he knows, and how he views making love. You also need to know the state of your virginity. For example, is your hymen intact or has it eroded away or been broken from physical activities. First intercourse can hurt, it very well may not. Brandye has stated that often it is only a momentary twinge.

You can handle any bleeding by placing a towel under you, thus protecting the bedding.

If he does stop, examine why. Perhaps he cannot penetrate the hymen. Perhaps your vaginal opening is too resistant. While one or both may hamper the process, it does not mean that he "quit".

I hope this is of help. After the two of you read all the articles, absorb the information, then get back to us with any questions or concerns.

[QUOTE=awesome;186911]Thank you but how do I know if my hymen is still in tact or not?[/QUOTE]

you should generally be able to tell

several things can break the hymen... tampons, masturbation, foreplay etc etc..

if you have been fingered or penetrated by larger objects (say a dildo for example) then chances are your hymen has already been broken... however me not bein an expert on this area of field i cannot say for certain..

maybe give us the best description possible of what you have done, etc and if bled before on any occasion.

as i said previously i am not an expert on this matter and well several factors can come into play..

hope this helps a bit.

awesome - whether your hymen is intact or not - doesn't really matter - just have a towel handy. The essential point is - do you want to have penetrative sex with this fellow or do you not? If you said yes, then get condoms, lubricant, and get prepared. If you said no, then don't. It is entirely up to you. Besides which there are plenty of threads on this topic.

Really all of this angst over something so simple.