Right, hello folks, Not been on here in a loooong time.
I've been chatting to a girl on a dating website, she now knows I have my own place and said she lives with her parents. She seemed happy talking to me but I was getting too many one liner replies, yeses, or just smileys and was finding it hard to keep conversation going. So I decided it was time to suggest we meet up and suggested a pub in a country village mid way between where each of us lives 20 miles apart. I also suggested meeting in her town to make it easier and more comfortable for her. She suggested she meet me in my town...... now should I be reading between lines here ? She must be pretty into me to be coming 20 miles to meet me. Maybe she wants me to be quite literally into her by the time the nights out...... ?
I'm not very good at this sort of thing :(
Go to your meeting with an open mind. Please do not make any assumptions or have expectations beyond having a good time. Maybe you will maybe you will not, it all depends upon how each of you appeal to the other and for the chatter that goes on between you.
Personally, I detest one word replies, one liners, or people who telephone others, leave a message on the answering machine with questions and then receive a reply in which the questions go unanswered! That she is not to chatty may simply mean she is bashful, reserved, not a great talker, and, coupled to the fact that she does not know you, may be playing things close to the vest so to speak. Do not be critical of this initial behavior until later should it continue. To help with this, in your conversations with her, ask open ended questions which are designed to get her to talk. In response, do not tell her everything about you; dish this information a little at a time over time as you continue to see each other. Leave her wanting and coming back for more.
As for where to meet, I'd go to her town, first.
I hope this is of help. Got questions? Read the articles listed in the dating section of the Index.
-doc
As I have talked about several times, dating is all about learning about others in a closer relationship than possible just being friends among many. Dating is designed to fail as we search for Mr./Ms. Right and learn about likes, dislikes, quirks, goals, objectives, etc. People will come and people will go until finally that one person is selected from among the many who have gone before. So, maybe this will just be a drink and/or meal and go no further. Maybe the two of you will agree to continue seeing each other, and if you do, have an open not a closed relationship. You can have fun with both, and get close to each other, yet an open relationship give each of you freedom to date others if one or both of you choose and if/when a breakup occurs, it generally will be less painful.
Yea I have an open mind, it's just that I don't pick up on small things. I think maybe she is a bit reserved, I've tried getting her to talk using open end questions etc. but it is hard. She became more talkative when I suggested we meet. I suggested meeting in her town to make it easier or half way but she suggested meting around my town
It is quite possible that she does not want to be seen out and about with a stranger in her own town. Ergo, your village. Otherwise, I agree with Doc: go with an open mind, have fun and let things go where they will.
well she lives in a very large town, it should not be that. Guess I'll just see what happens.
With little detail I'm just guessing here. You didn't mention ages at all, but maybe it's something more like she's made her profile up to say living at home, when senvery well could be married and lookin for a quick might out? Not saying its really that by any means, but would at least explain the "sudden" jump out of her own town, and away from potential busting.
Again this is just off the cuff speculation. Take care and have fun!
no firmus, I don't think that is the case. I'm 29 she is 23.
If you get the same reaction in person as you do on the phone or online then she's NOT the girl for you.
If she doesn't show up at all then she's NOT the girl for you.
If she does show but there's no chemistry...you get the idea.
Expectations should be nil since SHE'S the one who makes the decision at this point. So you can relax and see how it works out.
for once I agree with you EEK. Just saying I don't always pick up on cues as I either don't spot them or am afraid I'll do something wrong. Personally I'd not be surprised if i have some slight aspergic tendencies but not enough to have been diagnosed or noted (as I'm sure thousands are).
I just find it "inspiring" that she wants to travel all the way to me when I offered to meet her locally or halfway and she became more talkative after I suggested meeting.