Alright so first, no, I don't have a child and no I don't plan on having any anytime soon, but I read that topic : http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/21388-anatomy-female-o-answ...
Especially the "The earlier women begins to masturbate, the better their sex lives will be". So say I have a wonderful daughter with the women that will be my wife at this time, would it be a good idea to tell her early enough that self-masturbation is okay, and explain her a bit more than the average parent does about it? Of course it is, and she'd be talking about it with whoever she's more comfortable with, me or her mother...
But would it be too early if we opened the conversation at say... 10 years old? Perhaps a bit earlier, depending on her maturity.
I'm just asking, I really am not about to have a child anytime soon.
Interesting subject and something similar was asked few months ago in this thread: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/29551-how-young-can-girl-orgasm....
Basically:
-The best way to teach children about sexuality is to anticipate on their questions. The logic in this being: if you ask a question you're interested in the answer and the answer will stick.
-Tell as much as the child truly wants to know. "Truly" meaning; without any sense of shame or the need to give socially acceptable answers.
-Try to be as open as possible, while remaining at her level of understanding.
Children do masturbate as early as kindergarten. They just do so cause it feels good. Only later on they consider it a sexual activity (heading towards puberty).
Most of the time the trouble is that adults neglect to answer questions asked. Creating awkwardness to start with and the odd flowers-and-bees-conversation later on. Also: kids will most likely be looking for answers elsewhere (and: getting wrongly informed in the first place and/or kids trying to find the magic answers themselves). Another problem that adults face is the tendency to complicate things and give elaborate answers that don't get to the point. Just keep it short and verifiy you give a child the answer it is looking for. If you keep an open and honest relationship with a child and make this education question-driven there's not much to worry about.
PS: I don't have children, did learn some theory at university about the way children learn and develop. And I did enjoy a good sexual education myself by my mom. Only practice I got was during babysitting in which I answered a lot of questions about death, babies and breasts (the latter being of profound interest to a 3 year old toddler). And I do have a wish for one of my own, but would consider it a very intriguing subject even if I didn't :)
Yeah, for the sex-related conversations, my father was always there :D
Except for my family's obvious uptightness about homosexuality, I am as open minded as they are for everything else.
I mean, I now moved to my mother's, and she just told me that she needed her own time to have sex with her boyfriend and that's why she was happy I wasn't in the room right under theirs. Felt awkwaard for a second, since I never talked about sex with my mom, but just after that it was as natural as talking about sexy girls' butt with my father.
I've never been in a position to find my parents having sex. I can imagine that blink-blink-moment of awkwardness. One day I'll probably have to make sure the kids know daddy isn't hurting or killing me LOL ;) I moan and scream a lot during sex... even if I keep it down, it is fairly noticeable :o
My mom incorporated homosexuality into the story immediately while answering questions about sex, love and babies. So I knew about gaylove immediately after straight love. And she taught it without drawing attention to it, I don't clearly remember those moments... I just knew. The existence of oral sex is one of the first things I clearly remember learning, because I stood in a video library looking at the adult section (ironically close to the cartoon section, I'm guessing I was 6/7-ish). I just stood there scrutinizing those pictures for minutes wondering what on earth those women were doing... My first thought was that she was eating it (cannibalism?). My second thought that they really had misunderstood things, cause the seeds were not supposed to come in her belly that way. Then I remembered sex was supposed to be pleasurable and I suddenly understood... :rolleyes: I was scrutinizing more of the pictures as my mom discovered me and started yelling at the owners of the store about keeping that filth locked away from kids. I think that was also the first time I heard her refer to sex as something dirty. I guess the fact I so clearly remember this, proofs how calm and open she usually was about it and how easy I had learned about it.
That's a good way to learn. I don't remember much things, I know that my dad was always open to tell me about sex, but if i recall correctly, I was too shy to talk about it a lot... I think I'm lucky to be how I am today, because I mostly learned by talking about it with friends (around 7-8 years old) and looking at pornography very early when I was young...
I could'Ve evolved into a psycho, luckily, the teaching I had from my parents always had the others' well-being and mine as a top priority, so I felt something wrong in it quite fast.
Now I don't watch at pornography anymore, I used to, not so long ago, but never took it as a model for perfect sex, and i actually find disgusting how women are completely reduced to objects in those.