shortcuts tool bar HOME   CHANNELS   REVIEWS   SEX POSITIONS   SEX ENCYCLOPEDIA shortcuts tool bar

You are here

2 posts / 0 new
Last post
Questions from me

I'm not sure this is the right forum for this post, but it feels like first time issues, so here goes...

I'm an 18 year old man lacking confidence when having sex with my girlfriend... we've had sex for a while, but we want to try something new, so I've decided that I want to be more dominant... the problem is that I lack confidence in myself, and I tend to be too careful when touching her... I would gladly appreciate if anyone had some good advices on how to improve my confidence with her, and I also like to hear if anyone has some ideas for some more "dominant" positions/scenarios that I could use.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find illustrations of animated sexual positions--and much more.

> I'm an 18 year old man lacking confidence when having sex with my girlfriend...

Building confidence usually comes with experience, trusting yourself, and having accumulated a good track record with the things you've undertaken.
It is all those little successes of the past that bring out confidence in the present. If you've got a few good notches under your belt, then stop with the self doubting and proceed with a positive attitude.

Please read the article that discusses Implied consent and Boundaries. Communication and feedback {verbal and non-verbal) are keys to having a successful relationship. Let each other know how you are responding to each other's kisses and caresses.

A second path to gaining confidence is in acting your way to success. Pretend to be an actor in a play and adopt the characteristics or mannerisms you wish to have. Pretty soon you will not have to "act" your way to confidence, the practice and role playing will cause you to acquire them.

> we've had sex for a while, but we want to try something new, so I've decided that I want to be more dominant... the problem is that I lack confidence in myself, and I tend to be too careful when touching her...

Although, women in general prefer a gentle touch, they are not paper dolls! If you want to know how best to caress or touch her, ask her for suggestions and/or guidance. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together!

Being dominant, at least in the early stages of a relationship does not mean being bossy unless you are role playing. "Dominant" in the early stages should be more about guiding what happens when making love, when, where, and how. You can use Implied Consent for this.

Being dominant, can also mean being the more active and the initiator. Being dominant can also mean being commanding and bossy, in a playful way, so if this is what you want, discuss your respective roles and also decide on a "safe word" to use to stop the proceedings should one of you feel like the situation is getting out of hand or too intense.

Do some reading and some looking around and then feel free to ask questions. There are also two search engines that will let you sift thru all of the threads in all of the forums using "key words".

I hope this is of help.

Log in or register to post comments