Hi, im 19 and my gf is 18 and we're very much crazy about each other. We've reached that stage in our relationship where we start talking about sex, but we've both agreed to save sexual intercourse till marriage (we're both virgins). But she has said that she would really love to experience fingering and oral sex, and i feel very comfortable doing these things to her (never done these things before neither seen a vagina in real life but i know where it is from movies and biology class lol). We both think we're ready for at least that,(we've spoken about it alot) so being new to the whole matter i have a few questions. Detailed explanations and advices would be greatly appreciated.
1. How exactly should we start? I know these things shoudlnt really be planned, they should just happen as the mood takes us into it, but what are some of the best foreplay methods and best methods to get her wet?
2. How exactly should i kiss her for e.g on her neck? Should i kiss her the way you would kiss your parent on the cheek, or kiss her the way you would french kiss her excluding the tongue?
3. Whats the most intimate way and best places to kiss her (except on her mouth)
4. When im ready to start fingering her, should i slowly move into it by rubbing her vagina lips and hole with my fingers (in an up and down or circular motion) keeping on the outside and kissing her and after awhile moving inside and when should i move inside?
5. When it comes to stimulation, what are some of the best ways to stimulate her using fingering and oral sex? Ive read on the forums that every girl is unique when it comes to that but still let me know as some methods may be very effective with her.
6. When im ready to go down on her, should i start by licking her just on the outside at first? and what should i do from there?
7. What is the easiest way to find her clitoris and the g-spot and when and how should i start stimulating her by those?
8. When fingering her, whats the best way to build her orgasm? Is it by increasing the speed which i finger her or the intensity by applying more pressure? And are there any other methods that might build her orgasm?
9. What body languages should i look for to know she is enjoying it or feeling uncomfortable?
10. How do i know if im overdoing it, i want her to feel pleasure through the whole thing instead of discomfort.
11. How do i know when she comes and its time for me to stop?
12. And for me, my penis is curved upwards along its lenght just a little (i figure its cause when i was very young i wore underwear that was too tight), so how will this affect sexual intercourse later on in life?
Yeah i know, alot of very educated questions from a new guy but i seem to take alot of interest in making my girl happy :D
Thanks
AV8R (Aviator)
[QUOTE=AV8R;154418]
Yeah i know, alot of very educated questions from a new guy but i seem to take alot of interest in making my girl happy :D
Thanks
AV8R (Aviator)[/QUOTE]
Uhhhhhh okay....start with trying the search feature this site has...which is MOST AWESOME!!...here's a start...http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/11460-fingering_101.html
umm ok to start juss relax some its nothing big thing, next start by kissing and maybe offer to massage her back a lil, then work your ways down and work your way into fingering her from behind.
Here are some links to some information (in no particular order) that I have provided to others.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/16825-need_help_here.html?posted...
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_him/18244-increasing_my_confide...
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_him/17196-turning_him_on.html?h...
What is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Just change the pronouns and do for her as outlined.
> what are some of the best foreplay methods and best methods to get her wet?
What is of critical importance is in understanding that making love and achieving orgasms is not all about "foreplay".
> I know these things shoudlnt really be planned, they should just happen as the mood takes us into it
To some extent you are correct, however, there is an ol' adage that I like that helps us be(come) better lovers: "Plan your work and work your plan." What this means is that we should have a procedure for how we entice her, warm her up to the idea of making love long before it is scheduled to happen, and then for starting her "engine" and warming that engine up and getting it up to operating temperature, if you catch my drift. The rest is spontaneous as you suggest.
With this as your game plan, the how-to often begins hours before by planting a seed of interest, and/or, setting the stage--like lining up toys, planning a script scenario, and then setting the actual stage (bedroom, hotel/motel room, bathroom, picnic area, etc.) perhaps by distributing rose petals, adjusting lights and temperature, having a towel at the ready if massage oils will be involved, and so on.
> what are some of the best foreplay methods and best methods to get her wet?
It's not the foreplay, it's the entire script beginning with Necking, progressing to Petting, moving along to Heavy Petting-----and then, Foreplay.
> 2.
Perhaps a kiss that is in the middle.
> 3.
Every square inch of her body! Let your kisses be an integral part of your caresses. As you continue to caress her skin, follow along with your kisses.
> 4. should i slowly move into it by rubbing her vagina lips and hole with my fingers
That and you can gently tug on the inner labia as you massage one. The inner labia are comprised of the same sensitive skin as the scrotum. Surrounding the entrance of the vagina, and just inside, are a lot of sensitive nerve endings.
> 5.
Approach her clitoris using a circuitous route. Oh, sure, the direct approach does work, but why not tease a bit and whet her appetite?
One way is to work your finger(s) down from the pubic mound after perhaps massaging or scratching it along with fingering her pubic hair. Let your fingers trace along the valley between the outer labia in order to involve the shaft of the clitoris that is buried beneath the skin. You can massage the outer labia (Majora) as well as to finger and massage the inner labia (Minora), all before venturing to include the tip of the clitoris.
Whatever your fingers do, so too can your lips, to include sucking and blowing. When she is very aroused, try using your lips as a natural vibrator. You can do this by blowing air out between them like when we mimic the sound of an outboard motor or lawnmower engine. Let your lips vibrate against her clitoris, and watch her reaction!
Your lips and tongue should take there cues from her reactions. This is where learning and working together and providing each other with feedback on how we are responding to each other's caresses is how a partnership works.
http://honeymoons.about.com/od/oralsex/
> 6.
Asked and answered. You may or may not want to dip your tongue into the entrance of the vagina. If and when may change from episode to episode.
> 7.
First, you need to study each other's anatomy.
You can locate the clitoris in a couple of different ways:
a. trace your fingers upward along one of the inner labia to the juncture of the two. The clitoris is located just inside or below that junction.
b. trace your fingers downward from the top of the Vulva following the channel between the outer labia to the junction of the inner lips.
http://www.luckymojo.com/faqs/altsex/vulva.html
The link will also direct you to the G-spot. Please keep in mind that it is an ancillary source of stimulation and as such only becomes reactive when a woman is nearing an orgasm as well as during.
> 8.
I have written about this quite a bit. Encourage her to demonstrate how she masturbates. If she is reluctant, do not push; however, do ask her to take your hand and to guide your movements for a few sessions until you learn to mimic how she stimulates herself. Keep in mind that we do not give orgasms away, each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve her/his own. To to this we must learn what works.
Soon after learning to masturbate, each of us, boy and girl/woman quickly develops a technique that is individual and unique to each of us. It is this specific method that I refer to as the "Fine Art". So, while we all understand the basics of fingering a clitoris or stroking a penis, it is the Fine Art that each of us relies upon to bring about our climax. If we miss the mark either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than expected. All this holds true for you with her. Demonstrate how you masturbate and then take her hand and guide her movements in order to learn how to mimic your motions, rhythm, and pressures.
>9.
Usually the same as what you would do:
* Heavy and/or halting breathing
* Panting
* Perspiration
* A look of deep concentration or pain
* Squirming
* A tense stiff body
* Reciprocation
>10.
She will either tell you or indicate that enough is enough.
This is particularly true when fingering the clitoris. Keep in mind that the clitoris is structurally a miniature penis, although with twice the nerve endings in the tip as we have in the Glans. Consider the respective size between the tip and Glans to get some idea of how very sensitive it is. At some point many women find that the nerves become overtly sensitive to over stimulation resulting in the sensation of pain. It really isn't but it manifests itself as such. When she indicates that she cannot stand any more direct contact, you can continue to stimulate the clitoris indirectly by switching tactics. You can fold the inner lips over the clitoris and massage it through them. You can also stroke the shaft. In addition, you can involve the inner lips, again, and by working with them, the clitoris will be indirectly stimulated.
>11.
An excellent question!
A woman's orgasm is much more internalized than a guy's. As such we often miss it and thus often ask the age old question "did you cum?" I think this is poor form and encourage every woman to let her man know in no uncertain terms. She can do this verbally or non-verbally with a word or other utterence that the two of you know the meanin of; or, she can use some form of body language like a specific squeeze of her hand, etc. that the two of you work out to let you know.
>12.
Wrong. Penises develop in various ways and often can be found:
* Perfectly straight and either pointing straight out from the body
* Perfectly straight and listing to the left, right, or angled upward slightly
* Like yours, having a slight upward curve
* Curving slightly to the left, right, or downward.
All are normal and result from asymetrical growth during puberty. It has nothing to do with wearing certain clothing. As you can see there is quite a variety, all considered normal and as such, there is usually no problem with performance.
Now, having said that there is a severe condition known as Peyronies Disease that will and will need medical intervention but this is nothing for you to worry about.
I hope this is of help. Please feel free to pose more questions if and when you have them.
"A PILOT2"
Thanks soo much, really helpful and detailed info!