People have been having sex for hundreds of millenia. Before we were even human. Most of us figure it out after a few mistakes along the way.

Let me address only the female issues, caitlin, because those should be of greatest concern to you. AAbout half of all women find the first time to be a non-event. No pain, no blood, no earth shaking orgasm. Most women I examine by the age of sixteen have very little of the hymen remaining. Tampons, sport and whatever they use to experiment with (candles, hairbrushes, cologne bottles, this last is my favorite), have worn the hymen away. Many do have some slight tearing and perhaps a few drops of blood. A very few find it very painful. Relaxation is as important as aanything because alot of the pain is caused by very tense muscles resisting the intrusion.

Go to a search engine and put in "female sexual anatomy." You will find hundreds of sites with photos and diagrams showing where everything is.

There is no way to make an idiot of yourself. Orgasm is virtually automatic in most men. He will not be disappointed. Orgasm in women is a learned thing. Masturbation is the best training for a woman. If you do not know what can happen, it will not happen. Until you have had an orgasm yourself, it is highly unlikely that you will with someone else.

Do not worry about the male side of things. Male sexual response is much more certain than our female response. Read, study, talk to older sisters or aunts. Be prepared to protect yourself from pregnancy and STD. Then, relax and do not have too great expectations until you develop some experience.

[QUOTE=Quote (caitlinmarie* @ Dec. 04 2005,20:19)]Okay, i'm totally new to this sex thing, so i have a couple of questions.. [/QUOTE]

Hi, Caitlinmarie and welcome!

Let's see:

[QUOTE=Quote ]1. What is hymen and why does it hurt?[/QUOTE]

The hymen is a thin flap of skin at the entrance to the vagina.  The reason that some women experience pain the first time during sex is the hymen is torn.  Some people refer to this as "popping the cherry".

[QUOTE=Quote ]2. When sucking a guys penis, do they like it better if you spit or swallow?[/QUOTE]

Depends on the guy.  It also depend on YOU.  The final decision is yours- whether you let him ejaculate in your mouth at all... or whether you spit or swallow.

[QUOTE=Quote ]3. My bikini area is like whiter than the rest of my body, do guys find that as a turnoff?[/QUOTE]

I'm sure there may be a guy out there somewhere that would even notice... but since he's getting to have sex, I'm sure he couldn't care less.  

[QUOTE=Quote ]4. Does it hurt for everyone their first time? Or does it just depend, and if it does, what does it depend on?[/QUOTE]

As I said in question 1, the reason it hurt is the hymen is broken at that point.   It doesn't happen to all women during sex the first time.   The hymen can be stretched or broken many different ways.   Exercise, sports, masturbation, and- most commonly- through the use of tampons.  It is even possible that it may not break until several intercourses.

[QUOTE=Quote ]5. Do guys like it better when u touch them gently or hard?[/QUOTE]

Again, this depends on the guy.  The best thing to do is to let him show you.   You can do the same for him.  

[QUOTE=Quote ]6. How do guys masterbate?[/QUOTE]

I think there's a cap on how long posts can be and if I answer this fully then I'm sure to run over...LOL.  

Again, different guys masturbate different ways.  If you are interested in giving him a handjob, then have him put his hand over yours and guide you.  That way you learn his particular grip and speed.

If you are just interested in male masturbation techniques, then you might try:  www.jackinworld.com

[QUOTE=Quote ]7. What if i make an idiot out of myself and do something wrong?[/QUOTE]

You join the club with the rest of us.

Seriously, as long as you are an attentive and considerate lover, you'll do fine.  Sex is suppose to be fun... so, relax and enjoy it.

Just remember... play safe (condoms and a spermicide, at least).

Take care.