Sorry, but I am not a submissive type of woman. I am a soft dominatrix of dominant men. Soft meaning no abuse, no humiliation and no pain.

Bondage means basically "tying up".

I hope that you are NOT doing this with an inexperienced partner because it is NOT safe beginning that way. If nothing else please have a more experienced and trustworthy person right there with you two. The proper credentials are mandatory - such as membership in the Black Rose.

The basic rules of restraint are:

1. for no more than 45 minutes at any one time
2. NEVER, EVER leave a restrained person alone

It might help you to review the website www.wickedwomangroup.us and reverse the genders. There are some sample scenarios, I believe on the site but I strongly encourage you to have your partner tell you BEFOREHAND exactly what he/she means to do and then to give you time to think about it.

My wife isn't really into the bondage thing, although I love to dominate in bed. :D She is very passive and has only been dominate a handful of times. She likes being passive and I like being dominate and it works for us.

A few years ago though, she asked me to tie her up. Of course I was pretty excited because when it comes to sex, I let her dictate the course. You know that whole women in control thing. :p

Anyway, she just wanted to simply be tied to the bed. Nothing crazy, no leather whips or shackles etc. So I just tied each of her hands and feet to a bed post using some soft straps. Once I got her tied down, I tortured the heck out of her! I gently kissed and massaged every square inch of her until she was literally begging me to penetrate her. The best part was, I wouldn't do what she asked!! When we finished that night ( I think we were in bed for about 3 hours ), she said it was one of the greatest things she's ever experienced. Since then, we have bought some fuzzy handcuffs and a leg strap thing that goes behind her head to hold her legs up. We don't go any farther with the "bondage" then that because this is what she's comfortable with and thats absolutely fine with me.

I suggest you start small, just a simple tie down. Like EvilKitten said, you want an experienced lover. I'll also add, that it better be someone you trust, because you are literally at their mercy. My wife trusts that I will never cross her boundaries, and I clearly know what those are. She also knows that I know her body almost better then she does, so I don't do things that cause uncomfort or pain. Bondage is all about trust and giving up your control. Better have those things straight before hand. ;)

You've gotten some great advice here. Really, I think the main thing, like Aviator said, is that you have to totally trust the person. Breaking that trust in a Sub/Dom situation can definitely be the breaking point in a relationship. Start out small and work your way up. Don't be afraid to discuss scenarios outside of the bedroom, too.

Also, it is very important to remember that being the Dom does NOT mean you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. You do not have a free pass. Everyone has limits and those limits must be respected.

On the other hand, being the Sub does NOT mean that you have to be humiliated, hurt and used. You are actually in control as you always have the say of when to stop. Your Dom is there to help you push your limits to strengthen your relationship, and that is why the Dom/Sub relationships work.

I am not in the lifestyle myself, but know a fair amount about it. Anyway, I hope my post made some sense to you to help you figure out what your thoughts are on it.

I agree with all the feedback you've gotten here too. I'm a soft Sub. Simple 4 cornered straps and pretty similar to Aviator's method. Tried it on my bf once, its not his thing so we've NEVER done it to him again and won't.

If you're REMOTELY unsure about this, DON'T do it. There's PLENTY you can do to be a little adventurous that you'll probably be more comfortable with, and if one of you isn't comfortable, neither of you will enjoy it nearly as much, so what's the point?

Like those under the bed straps! They are cool!!:) If in the company of one who is game and trusts 100%.

People, people - forget the cutesy items bought over the Internet - just go to PetsMart and buy leashes and collars. You can even get cute little tags for the collars there! Put the loop of the leashes around the feet of the bed and there ya go - no muss, no fuss, no sliding around and you have quick connect and quick release.

We went to Spencers and got a really simple under the bed strapping system. It's just an I-shaped set of length-adjustable straps with soft velcro-closed cuffs at each corner and you slide it under the mattress. No biggie, easy to set in place, good for a first timer just wanting to try something. You could go just one wrist if you wanted, or only wrists, whatever floats your boat. The benefit of the I shape is that if you pull against it, you pull against YOURSELF if you're tied at the other corner too.

Int - those straps SLIDE which is not a good thing.

Haven't had a problem but thanks for the tip :)

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;210198]Int - those straps SLIDE which is not a good thing.[/quote]Want a leather pair of restraints from the ER? LOL! :)

[QUOTE=sera300;210242]Want a leather pair of restraints from the ER? LOL! :)[/QUOTE]

Enact your favorite orderly/unruly patient fantasy. :D

[quote=Thresher_V;210254]Enact your favorite orderly/unruly patient fantasy. :D[/quote]No, I get to play nurse (fishnets, heels, and all) and he gets to be the bad boy tied nude! LOL!

Oh pffft! All of that is far too much work! Just tie him down and jump his bones already! Heck, by the time you have finished getting into costume, I've made him enjoy 4 orgasms! Yeeehaw!

Remember sweeties, I'm doing this to him 3 times a week for 4 hours each session.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;210282]Oh pffft! All of that is far too much work! Just tie him down and jump his bones already! Heck, by the time you have finished getting into costume, I've made him enjoy 4 orgasms! Yeeehaw!

Remember sweeties, I'm doing this to him 3 times a week for 4 hours each session.[/quote]Okay Thersher got that???? :)