Read around. There are many threads on the differential sexual response between men and women. Women can be satisfied without being satiated; men can be satiated without being satisfied.

There are many, many sexless marriages by the mid-40s. Mostly women who are bored by sex and cannot be bothered.

ok, out of 100 women 25 don't orgasm, 25 need additional stimulation besideds vaginal penitration to orgasm and 50 orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. and it's not like the only time a woman feels good from sex is the orgasm, everything leading up to it is enjoyable too. the only difference i know of is there is no "big finish" at the end

weasel - I doubt your stats.

Almost ALL women can orgasm but that does not mean that they will. For some women orgasms are an elusive thing. Unlike men, women have to learn to orgasm and if a woman was molested or abused, esp. when 7-9 years of age, her sexual response will be totally screwed up. If she was ever raped - it is 'game over' without professional counseling.

Women like sex. Women want sex.
But by sex, women mean ALL of it - not just the physical aspects of foreplay and penetration and maybe an orgasm.

For women, even if they do not orgasm, it is the intimacy that counts.

Weasel's stats reverse two numbers: About a quarter of women do not achieve orgasm; about half require stimulation additional to penetration and thrusting; and, about a quarter regularly reach orgasm through vaginal sex. I am, personally, in the middle group. I rarely reach orgasm without oral or digital stimulation.

No one can establish whether the non-orgasmic "cannot" or "do not." While there are some physical conditions that make orgasm difficult or impossible, they are quite infrequent. That would indicate that many, many women do not achieve orgasm for psychological reasons - messages at home, bad sex education, wrong man involved, pain or fear of pain, fear, or any of the issues Evil alludes to.

Some non-orgasmic women enjoy the intimacy given by having sex; some are willing to have children and then end it; some simply give up and avoid sex. For these women, intervention (counseling) early can be very helpful. Some women can be helped later in life but each "failure" makes it more likely that the next try will also fail.

The oldest patient I have had who experienced her first orgasm was 54; a few were in their thirties and already mothers. It is never too late, but it becomes less likely with the passage of time.

I have no reason to doubt the figure of one in four women being anorgasmic. From personal experience, I've known some who really enjoyed sex. And it didn't appear as if they felt it any differently.

As a practical matter, being with a woman who doesn't achieve release can be problematic, because they're ready for more, even when you're not!

I'm sure it's frustrating for them, although with maturity they come to terms with it. My guess (I'm no physiologist) is there's a lot more variance in women's sexual response, as a consequence of natural selection. After all, if a man doesn't achieve orgasm, he won't reproduce.

Which is unfortunate because when she reaches her 40's, she's really just started hitting her sexual peak - all that energy wasted!!!

Perhaps I should begin a husband training school?

Just find a publisher for The Program.

Ty, Int - but would they actually BUY it??

I'd have to expand the chapters - how to perform cunnilingus/fellatio and so on.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Dr. Brandye, most of the postings in threads here are completely speculative. (And a fair number of those fall in the range from wishful thinking to hallucinatory.)

I'm confident the samples you and I see are significantly different. When you go past the incidence of anorgasmia to its etiology, emotional loading skews the self-reports.

The claims I see regarding psychological causation strike me as less a clinical survey than a marketing angle for sex therapists.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;243520]but would they actually BUY it??[/QUOTE]

You've recommended The Joy of Sex enough times...bill it as a supplement ;)

No, Int, that's Brandye who recommends The Joy of Sex and Our Body Ourselves, not me. I recommend Notes of a Dominatrix to both men and women.

Ok, then add a chapter on B&D and bill it as a supplement to THAT book :D

Not even the most optimistic sex therapists claim success in every case. And we're talking about the women who are disposed to like sex otherwise. But the ones who present for treatment are more likely to have emotional obstacles. Their experience won't generalize to everyone.

Sextion, you are reading selectively. It has not been said that ALL women can reach orgasm - no one really knows. Absent some very specific physiologic issues, most can. As a woman, I can see nothing particularly good in being anorgasmic. Many, if not most, end up after childbearing being essentially either asexual or tolerating it for the sake of their husbands.

head hits at some keys to what we do not know: those women who simply give up do not present for therapy or even discuss the situation with their doctors. What we cannot discover, we cannot deal with. And I do not posit that the 54 yo I allude to is typical - she was a happy accident.