This is all a little embarrassing, I've never posted something like this before.. Well, I'm an eighteen year old male and I've had a lovely girlfriend, (who's just 16) now for a few months, and we've decided to try sex. Also I'm sorry for the length of the post, I can't explain things in short.
Last week we tried a little, but it didn't go very well, i've quite a wide penis and it wont really go in past the tip at all, not without being fairly uncomfortable for me at least, and it just wont fit whole way in. I dont *think* lubrication was the problem, we used a little and she was already really quite wet beforehand.
I know there's a lot about it around the forums but I've had a look and have only seen about her loosening herself up in the bath. But how would I really go about mentioning to her for her to do that? Before today I've never heard about doing anything like that in a bath, so I guess she'd not have either, it won't seem abit odd me asking her to do that? or have I completly the wrong idea and there are other things to do to help?
We've been fine with everything else, fingering and so on, I've managed to put three fingers in her, although i do have very thin fingers, but still.. putting my penis in seemed sort of impossible, rather than just a little stretch.
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that's all really, I write terribly so if there's anything I can explain more then just say and I'll try and make it clearer,
thanks for the time, even if it's only pointing me to a link or something. I know it has been asked a lot, but I've had a look and couldn't find much (i'm not a computer wizz).
thanks.. sam.
I assume your gf realises the problem. You need to talk between the two of you the key to a good adult relationship is communication. Im assuming u r using condoms. Is she a virgin? if she is she could b nervous and tensing up. How much foreplay do u do? xx
> This is all a little embarrassing, I've never posted something like this before.
Welcome to the Board, Sam. There is a first time for everything and for the most part we're a friendly community. There is no need to be embarrassed as helping others by those who may have been there done that or who have knowledge others have yet to acquire is why we all hang out here--hoping to make life a little easier for others. As for the embarrassment part, we are all anonymous and just a lot of electrons floating around inside your computer case.
> Last week we tried a little, but it didn't go very well, i've quite a wide penis and it wont really go in past the tip at all, not without being fairly uncomfortable for me at least, and it just wont fit whole way in. I dont *think* lubrication was the problem, we used a little and she was already really quite wet beforehand.
First time intercourse with a woman who has little or no experience doesn't always go well; it takes time and a few more attempts. I'm not saying this is always the case, just that it is often the case. Penis size is only part of the difficulty, other contributing factors are the naturally small diameter of the vaginal opening, and, the barrier the hymen has if it is intact. A girl can be a virgin and not have an intact hymen because Western women often find they errode away from just being active in sports and other activities.
Being wet is a good sign and using a lubricant is also good; however, if the moisture is not distributed around the penis/condom beforehand, penetration can still be difficult.**
> I've had a look and have only seen about her loosening herself up in the bath. But how would I really go about mentioning to her for her to do that? Before today I've never heard about doing anything like that in a bath, so I guess she'd not have either, it won't seem abit odd me asking her to do that? or have I completly the wrong idea and there are other things to do to help?
It probably will seem a bit odd asking her to do that when you are not used to having intimate conversations and are perhaps still a bit shy and nervous. It is important to know that conversation is a cornerstone of every successful relationship including the sexual aspect. Why not begin learning how with this topic. One way to begin is to tell her you have been curious to know more about how to make out and learned about the exercise I have described. It's up to you whether to tell her the source such as the Internet or books (sex manuals). If she wants to know then why not tell her about this site because if you have questions, you can bet she does, also. The best time to talk is when the two of you do not plan to be intimate and when you have some time and will not be disturbed.
The reason for doing the exercise in warm water is because water softens the skin. If she desires to do this, the water should not have any soap or bubble bath in it--just plain comfortable water.
**As for there being anything else, just make sure you spread her mucus and/or a lube over the surface of your penis/condom as well as making sure the vaginal opening is completely wet having no dry spots that might rub rather than slip.
BTW, I wish to compliment you on your initiative for looking around the forums, first, before posting. Bravo.
> I've managed to put three fingers in her, although i do have very thin fingers, but still.. putting my penis in seemed sort of impossible, rather than just a little stretch.
Please try again and see if things are better next time. If you continue to have problems, PM me and I'll see if I can offer additional insight into this. I hope this is of help. Got questions?
dancingdoc that really was very helpful, and thankyou for the long reply. It's great that some people put that much effort in. and to talie, yes I was using a condom the entire time : )
I will bring it up with my girlfriend and hopefully it will all become less awkward soonish, thanks again for the reply, I expect I'll be back here with more questions sooner or later.
sam
If she is committed to getting through whatever problems you come across, then bringing this up and sharing ideas to solve them shouldn't be too hard. One thing I've not seen posted would be what position are you trying? Sometimes if you have a large penis then some positions would be harder than others, especially if it's the first time. Try going in at different angles and experiment with the positions.